In Your LIght

In Your Light

God, Thank-you for my life of love and joy,

triumphs and defeats. 

Thank-you for my quiet time today, 

and my desire for it. 

Thank-you for the magical temple of your creation, 

Earth, Sun, Sky and Sea.

God, help me to honor that little child

that lives within me today. 

Help me to love her as she 

waits longingly for my attention. 

Help me with unconditional love and 

tolerance as I learn my lessons. 

God, Help me to remember your presence at the 

times I want to give up. 

Help me to remember the sparkle in her eyes, 

the flecks of light in her hair, and the love 

in her heart. 

Help me to love her, as I am able to love others. 

Help me to see the God within me, as I 

am able to see God in others. 

Help me to not abandon her with all her might

and glory, all her spunk and laughter. 

Help me to not leave the child alone. 

Help me to hold and nurture her. 

Help me to love her in the 

light of you today. 

Help her to dance and play

in the warmth of your love today. 

Help her to not feel the fear, 

But feel your love and light 

as it shines on her. 

Help her to feel the warmth of the rays from the sun, 

the strokes of the wind, 

the music in the sky and the rhythm from the sea. 

Help her to know she is a precious and 

joyful gift of your creation. 

Help me to honor and have patience

with the woman who brings her to you. 

Help me to turn to you in times of pain and struggle, 

for strength and courage, as well and solace and peace.  

God, Help me dance to the music 

in my heart today. 

Help me to shine in the light

of you today.  

Help me to be a beacon to those lost 

in their journey. 

Help me to love myself and others

in the light of you today. 

Help me to live in the truth 

of your will and to continue to 

have the desire to see it. 

Help me to continue to listen 

to you with the intensity of my desires.

Help me feel the presence of your love 

and guidance today. 

Help me to take as good care 

of myself as I do others. 

Help me to be as patient with myself

as I am with others.  

With all my love and joy, gifts and imperfections, thank-you for my path, and my awareness of it.  Thank-you for letting me be part of your beautiful creation, the Universe.  

Amen

Reverend Sue Poulin,  2000

Birthing New LIfe

"Beholding his glory is only half our job.  In our souls too the mysteries must be brought forth; we are not really Christians till that has been done."The eternal birth," says Eckhart, "must take place in you."  And another mystic says human nature is like a stable inhabited by the ox of passion and the ass of prejudice; animals which take up a lot of room and which I suppose most of us are feeding on the quiet.  And it is there between them, pushing them out, that Christ must be born and in their  very manger he must be laid-and they will be the first to fall on their knees before him.  Sometimes Christians seem far nearer to those animals than to Christ in his simple poverty, self-abandoned to God."    Evelyn Underhill

The birth of this divine presence must take place in us.  How does that happen?  Have we been aware of it happening in the past?  How is it happening today?

  Birthing is a messy, loud, disruptive process.  Women that have given birth will tell you that it has changed their lives.  Not just because of the child that came into the world, but also because of the transformation that takes place in their bodies.  A woman can prepare for delivery, take classes, learn to breath, bring the right music and choose a picture that can help focus in times of transition.  Many of these tools work at different times.  Sometimes I think the primary function of this preparation is to give us something to do, some action we will be able to take, that we will have some control.  Ah, but when the time comes, how much control do we really have?

 New life comes into the world on most occasions after being pushed through a very small space.  At random times thunder shudders through the body and movement is the only remedy.  Push, use every bit of strength that you didn't even know you had to move life.

  Imagine being in the safest, warmest, most comfortable place possible.  Imagine being all curled up, warm water surrounds you, all your needs are met without any thought or action needed on your part.  Imagine coming into this world.  The light is bright, the air is cold, and everything is so loud.

  New life comes to us when we are stripped of all our defenses, of all the ways we protect ourselves.  God calls us to grow and move though out all the days of our lives.  We are called to live in this very bright, loud and busy world.  The good news is that our eyes become accustomed to the light, our ears adapt to the noise and we become part of the world we come into.  But perhaps we forget that we are able to change and grow?  Maybe we forget that with each new challenge God calls us to, we are not alone.

  New life is a messy, loud and very disruptive process.  Kicking and screaming are intricate parts of new life.  Giving up control happens one way or the other.

 How is it that we are resisting the new life that God is wanting to birth in us?  How are we trying to hold on to the warm safe place that we live. Even if that warmth and safety are the result of knowing and familiarity.

  "Father, we give you thanks for these heavenly gifts.  Kindle us with the fire of your spirit that when Christ coms again we may shine as light before his face; who is alive and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God now and forever.  Amen. "  Book of Common Prayer, Church of Ireland, pg. 243

"Conversations with Mary"

"The Annunciation: Conversations with Mary"
-Fredrica Harris Thompsett, PhD

Mary, we've landed on your feast!  Help us, we beseech thee, find common voice with you and with one another.

Mary, theotokos, God-bearer, help us travel with our humor and our pain as we seek to be God-bearers in our own day!

Mary, Sweet Mother have we traveled this far only to be put in places where we are "acceptable," places were we "fit" as long as we "are seen but not heard"?

Ah Mary, surely you know that reality all too well, the one about learning "in silence with full submission".(1 Timothy 2:11)!

Blessed Mary, if we can hear your voice anew, perhaps we can learn to challenge those in our own day who fear and distrust women.

Mary, Mother of Mercy, help us shed our placid timidity!

Mary, Co-Redeemer, you give birth to a new humanity and a new community born of suffering and of undefeated hope.  Help us embrace new life.

Mary, Mother of Compassion, have we forgotten you said "Yes!" to the liberation of oppressed peoples?

Mary, Mother Bird with a mature womb and hope-filled wings, push us out of the warm nest, help us fly onward and outward!

Mary, Sister and Mother, teach us to proclaim hope amid the reality of aching pain.

Holy Mary, are not we ourselves the God-bearers of this age:  women stepping forward together and saying "Yes!"  Let it be with us according to your word(Luke 1:38)

*Information about the Annunciation: The Annunciation, also referred to as the Annunciation to the Blessed Virgin Mary or Annunciation of the Lord, is the christian celebration of the announcement by the angel Gabriel to Virgin Mary, that she would conceive and become the mother of Jesus the Son of God. Gabriel told Mary to name her son Jesus, meaning "Savior". Many Christians observe this event with the Feast of the Annunciation on 25 March, nine full months before Christmas. According to Luke 1;26, the Annunciation to Mary occurred "in the sixth month" of Elisabeth's pregnancy with the child later called John the Baptist.

Waiting

Waiting is not something that many of us are good at.  As americans we are used to the immediate gratification of fast food, instant apps, drive thru coffee, buying a book on your phone or computer and any of the many ways we do not have to wait.

Making room for God is by it's very design a process.  It is personal to each of us and God calls us each by name.  What do we miss when we don't allow ourselves to wait, to anticipate, or ultimately feel the unbridled joy of receiving?

How is God calling you to wait?  What are the places in your life that feel restless?  Perhaps feelings of resentment, jealousy or envy creep into the recess of your mind and heart.  Maybe fear manifests itself as insecurity, control or self sabotage.  Each of us has experienced these different things at times in our lives.  Advent is a time to reflect on the many blessings that we have, to sit in the waiting and dare to dream.  Share your dreams with God, allow yourself to pause, breath and wonder.  Where is God calling you to change your life?

Waiting.....Is there an app for that?  I don't think so and for that we can all be very greatful.  What are your dreams?  God is waiting......

"God did a good job today"

Each of us has things in our lives that we know we have to do, but hate.  For some of us there are good reasons, and for others they are just not things any of  us like.  Going to the dentist is one of those things for me.  My struggle with this aspect of self care is of no relevance here.  What does cause me to pause is my experience yesterday.  


Meeting with my dentist was not something that I was in anyway looking forward to.  I am in the process of making some serious decisions about work that needs to be done. This will affect me physically and financially.  Avoidance is no longer an option.  So I entered this office with fear and trepidation.  


This man is a person of tremendous faith and sees his work as a ministry.  He couldn't wait to tell me about his experience with his son this past weekend.  My prayers have been and continue to be, that God will help me with my fear and give me courage where I feel none.  God reveals Gods self when we least expect it, or maybe when we are watching and listening.  The first thing I heard as we began our meeting was this story. 


This father and son were skiing at Bretton Woods ski area.  As they rode up the chair lift they could see the mountain range as it surrounded them.  Their turn came to ski off the lift and prepare to ski down the mountain.  The first big run of the year.  The 5 year old looks up at his father and says, "God did a great job today!"  As dad recounts the story, he stops and took a deep breath, paused and said, "Yes, he did!"  Given the fact that it is 2011, he took out his iphone and asked his son to pose so that he could remember this moment.  


God revels Gods self in places and in ways we cannot imagine.  It is our job to pay attention.  To stop and pause, to take a deep breath and say Yes, Thanks be to God.  The rest of the appointment went fine and God will, as God always does walk with me through this.  


The song, Mary, sung by Patty Griffin reminds us of Mary is such beautiful ways.  We are also reminded of Jesus as child, as son, as the Divine that sacrificed all for us.  As this time in Advent we are called to remember Mary and her sacrifice for us.  She to was the parent of a young child, a child that reminded her and continues to remind all of us that God is with us and that it is in fact, all very good.  

He came to testify to the light!

John the Baptist (right) with child Jesus, painting by Bartolomé Esteban Perez Murillo

The Gospel reading for the Third Sunday of Advent is from John 1:6-8, 19-28.  "He came as a witness to testify to the light, so that all might believe through him.  He himself was not the light , but he came to testify to the light."  When I see John in my minds eye, I see the big, burly man, dressed in rough cloths, and demanding our attention on every level.  I have never thought of him as a child.  

The paining above caught my attention as I was doing research this week and I have not been able to let it go.  I find my eyes continually being drawn back to it.  Why?  Jesus and John playing like little boys do.  Maybe they are playing in the mud, trying to build something.  Have Mary and Elizabeth told them not to play with sharp objects?  What is that stick they have found?  I love the sheep looking up at Jesus.  The look of love and a sense of presence at his feet.  John is working hard, physically pressing forward to put that stake in the ground.  What does it mean to them?  Jesus handing John a drink, here take this cup. 

Images of children bring up feelings that cross the gamut.  For some it is a reminder of times past, special, playful, simple times.  Others are reminded of the losses of abuse or neglect.  Missing children that have passed is a grief most of us can't imagine.  Mary and Elizabeth came to  know this pain.  For most of Elizabeth's life she knew the empty hole that comes with being unable for whatever reason to not have children.  Darkness, loss, grief are central to the story of God coming amongst us.  But with that needs to come the hope of new light and life.  The joy and simplicity of childhood if only in our hearts.  Jesus and John playing in the dirt, chubby little legs and  playing with sharp objects.  What will their lives bring, what do they know on that day?  

John came to witness to the light of God, that is about to come among us.   Seeing him as a child, playing with Jesus opens the lens of this passage anew.  How do we experience the light of God, coming to us in the most vulnerable being, when we see it through the eyes of a child?  John, a big, burly, loud prophet-braving his way through the wilderness, was once a small boy, playing in the mud with his best friend.  

Collect from the Nativity of Saint John the Baptist: June 24

"Almighty God, by whose providence your servant John the Baptist was wonderfully born, and sent to prepare the way of your Son our Savior by preaching repentance: make us so to follow his teaching and holy life, that we may truly repent according to his preaching; and, following his example, constantly speak the truth, boldly rebuke vice, and patiently Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, on God forever and ever.  Amen." 

Meeting God face to face.

" The whole message of the christian scripture is based in the idea of metanoia, the change of heart that happens when we meet God face to face."

Diane Butler-Bass

Meeting God face to face.  Can you  imagine?  How amazing would that be?      What would I want to talk about?  What would I want to ask?

Would I know it was Jesus?  This week I have been really wondering about ministry.  What are we called to do and how?  There are many things that I am not sure of, but, the one thing that I know in my bones is that love is central to how I believe that God manifests.  This is a word that is used freely in our world.  We sign letters, emails, and even txts, "I love you.  But how is our heart changed by the way God loves us?

The dictionary defines Love as a profoundly tender, passionate, affection for another person.  It also could be a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection.  We are each individual children of God.  We believe that we are created in that image.  Yet, God created us human as opposed to divine.  We are called to live into the light that is God's love for us.  We are loved as we make mistakes, as we wander off the path and feel the isolation of reacting to the emptiness and fear that lives deep in our souls.

Desmond Tutu tells us that Africans believe that "a person is a person through other persons."  Fundamental to our humanity is that "we are set in a delicate network of interdependence with our fellow human beings and with the rest of God's creation."  Living, working with and loving other people is the most difficult thing we do.  I also believe that it is the most important thing we do.  That is our work here.

As christians we believe that God is our creator, the loving father of Jesus, the source of love that gives our lives meaning and purpose.  Imagine looking up and somehow you knew that God had just walked into your kitchen.  Oh my God, not, OMG, but Oh my God!  What are you doing?

As I try to imagine this scenario, my first thought is how do I know this is God?  What does God look like?  Is God the neighbor across the street that has taken care of your leaves while you were at work?  Maybe God is the chairperson of the local food pantry?  We have grown up with different images of what people think Jesus may have looked like, but God?  The only thing that I can conclude is that feeling in the pit of my stomach when I know something, really know it.

Wandering around the kitchen wanting to tidy up for God.  Now this seems really stupid!!  Yet, here I go, clearing off the island so at least there is a place for us to sit.  Sit???  Who sits and talks with God?  Breath, this is your story, maybe we sit and talk to God more than we even know?  I glance up and there is an impish smile emanating from this source of my anxiety.

"Be still and know that I am God."  That really doesn't seem fitting for my kitchen.  Maybe "Breath, It's all good."  I can hear that.  My God must drink coffee.  "Would you like a cup?"  "That would be great."

Tentatively I sit down.  I look up and wonder why me, and what do I say?  We each sip our coffee.  "God, I feel really excited, but nervous beyond words that you are here.  There is so much I want to say and yet, I can't think of one thing right now."

"Tell me about your life?  How are things?  Why do you think I was drawn here?"

"Why were you drawn here?  I have no idea, so let me start with telling you about my life. "

Be surprised!!

"What matters in the deeper experience of contemplation is not the doing and accomplishing.  What matters is relationship."  Loretta Ross-Gotta


Today had been one of those days where each thing that I have tried to complete has required so many more steps than are really needed.  Each thing I thought might be quickly accomplished either required information I didn't have, couldn't find or required making phone calls.

Many times in my life it has been these days that have eventually turned into a day of complete lack of productivity.  This is due to my eventual giving up and being worn down by my own struggle and frustration.  This struggle and frustration is almost always with myself.  Why aren't I more organized?  Why didn't I keep that piece of paper?  What are your questions?  I am praying that you have some also.

Advent is a time of reflection and renewal.  It provides us with a time of intentional prayer and discernment.  One of the books that I am using this Advent is:  "Watch For the Light,  Readings for Advent and Christmas."  It is a collection put together for each day.  Today's reading is:  "To Be a Virgin" by Loretta Ross Gotta.

After running around my space, looking everywhere for a prayer that I wanted to include today, I kept thinking, let it go, let it go.  I eventually stopped and sat down with my prayerbook and this advent reflection book and began to breath.  One of the first things I was reminded of was the above quote. 

 "What matters in the deeper experience of contemplation is not the doing and accomplishing. What matters is relationship."  

Mary was a young woman, some would argue girl.  Many believe she was around the age of 16.  When the angel asked if she would carry Jesus, God incarnate, she said yes.  Really in the scheme of things she asked very few questions.

"It may be good and well for Mary to offer space in herself for God to dwell and be born into the world, but few of us possess the radical belief such recollection requires."

How is it that we create space for God to be born again in our lives?  Where is the fertile ground for which something to grow?  We do this not by doing all the right things, not by trying to be something we aren't.  We do this by believing and loving the spirit that lies with each of us, that is growing each breath we take.  

"The redemption of the creation is resting on the consent-the choice of this mortal woman to believe fearlessly that what she is experiencing is true.  And to claim and live out that truth by conceiving the fruit of salvation."  

Claiming and living out our truth is a central tenant to our faith.  We are called to be the instruments of God's love and word in the world around us.  We are called to speak the truth even when that feels hard.  We are called to live into the love and passion that Jesus came to teach us.  It is through that very love and passion that we are called to love others.  We must love ourselves as we would love those around us.  

"We think we have to make Christmas come, which is to say we think we have to bring about the redemption of the universe on our own.  When all God needs is a willing womb, a place of safety, nourishment, and love."  

Each year as I pray with and about Mary I am in awe of her offering, her willingness to say Yes!  Yet again, in my hustle and bustle of needing to get things done, it has been in the stopping that I am really only able to say Yes.  It is really only with the reminder that God continues to move and grow in each of us.  When we can breath, give thanks and let go, God has a far more open door.  

"In the end, when all other human gifts have met their inevitable limitation, it is the recollected one, the bold virgin with a heart in love with God who makes a sanctuary of her life, who delivers Christ who then delivers us."  

Years ago, a man far older and wiser than I used to ask me the same questions each time God needed him to.  Do you have all you need today?  My answer, regardless of how hard I thought my life was, was always yes.  Then he would tell me to start my day over again. My day has begun again.  How is it that we can made sanctuaries of our lives?  How is it that we can say Yes, to the lives God is calling us to live? How can we remember the things that are most important? 

On this December day, let us remember all those that mean so much to us.  Let us give thanks for the many blessings we have.  God continues to call us out of our comfort zone but we are not alone.  

Loretta Ross-Gotta ended her reflection with the following statement.  I offer it to you as we all go out to the world in a new way.  Be surprised!!!

" What if, instead of doing something, we were to be something special?  Be a womb.  Be a dwelling for God. Be surprised." 

Amen!!

"I Stand By the Door"

Recently in conversation this poem has come up and I was able to share it.  It is without doubt one of my favorite poems of all time.  Now with the gift of technology we also have a reading.  

Who was standing by the door for you?  What was that like?  Are you able to stand by the door today? 

The lectionary Page:

SAMUEL SHOEMAKER

PRIEST AND EVANGELIST, 1963
 

Sam Shoemaker, DD, STD (1893-1963), was an Episcopal priest who was instrumental in the Oxford Group and founding principles of Alcoholics Anonymous. Dr. Samuel Moor Shoemaker was the rector of the Calvary Church in New York City, which was the United States headquarters of the Oxford Group. Bill Wilson attended Oxford Group meetings at the Calvary Church and Sam was instrumental in assisting Bill Wilson with the writing of the bookAlcoholics Anonymous (nickname: The Big Book). Bill acknowledged this linkage when he wrote in the book, A.A. Comes of Age (page 39):

In 1917, Sam Shoemaker had been sent to China to start a branch of the YMCA and to teach at the Princeton-in-China Program. There, in 1918, feeling discouraged, he first met Frank Buchman who told him of the four absolutes, honesty, purity and unselfishness and love. Later, Shoemaker would speak of the meeting as a major influence for the start of his ministry, that being the time when he decided to let go of self and let God guide his life

Bill Wilson, in 1955, would later give credit to Sam Shoemaker whom he referred to as a co-founder of AA.

" It was from Sam Shoemaker, that we absorbed most of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, steps that express the heart of AA's way of life. Dr. Silkworth gave us the needed knowledge of our illness, but Sam Shoemaker had given us the concrete knowledge of what we could do about it, he passed on the spiritual keys by which we were liberated. The early AA got its ideas of self-examination, acknowledgement of character defects, restitution for harm done, and working with others straight from the Oxford Group and directly from Sam Shoemaker, their former leader in America, and from nowhere else."

Rev. Shoemaker wrote over thirty books, at least half of which were circulating before A.A.’s 12 Steps were first published in the Big Book in 1939."

Advent Conspiracy 2011

Gracious God, be in.......

Gracious God, be in.......

"Holy God, be in my mind
that I might let go of all
that diminishes the
movement of Your spirit
within me.

Discerning God, be in my
eyes, that I might see You
in the midst of all the busyness
that fills my life.

Loving God, be in my
heart, that I can be open
to those I love, to those
with whom I share
ministry and to the whole
human family.

Gracious God, be in that
grace filled silence that
lies deep within, that I
might live in Christ
as Christ live in me.
Amen"      CREDO

Have you ever laid your head on the pillow at night with a running list of all those things you so wished you had finished that day.  Phone calls, cards or bills mailed, loops closed that you were sure today was the day these would get done.  Yet you lay there thinking, where did my day go?  How could I already be this exhausted, how could it be time to get some sleep?

My guess, or prehaps, my hope, is that we have all experienced this.  Recently a friend of mine posted on facebook:  ""I would like a refund on this past month.  The November I received clearly only had about five days in it.  Thank you."  Laughing out loud is one of those things I love, and this person hit the nail on the head for me.  Where did it go??  Others seem to be getting so much more done than I, or are they?

Who do we hold ourselves up to?  Who and maybe more importantly why do we feel the need to compare ourselves to others?  Each and every one of us know deep in our hearts how we can best use our day.  We all know that we live in the reality of this world.  Demands of jobs, family, friends and community pull us out, pull us away from that still small voice within. This is not to say that any of these things aren't blessings and important.  But how often do we allow these needs to block the room that God is trying to settle in, to grow?

"Loving God, be in my
heart, that I can be open
to those I love, to those
with whom I share ministry
and to the whole
human family."

Most of those demands and expectations are increased significantly during this season.  The season we are called to prepare for new life, to make room for the rebirth of our lives with God.

Prehaps, today we can take a deep breath.  What is really important today? What ways must I be responsible to commitments that I have made?  What ways can i be present to God, both within me and the world in which I live?