Our Stories as Sacred Texts.

Blessing

"That you may know your life

as a sacred text. 

That God will lead you

to read your story anew.

That you may see how the holy

inhabits each line

and breathes across 

every page. "  

Jan Richardson 

Today I walked into the gym.  That was the first act of discipline.  I heard a couple of years ago that it takes 3 months to form a habit.  This was actually very helpful then and continues to be today.  At that time I was beginning the journey back to fitness and the discipline of just showing up, proved to be very helpful.  Before long, I looked forward to it.  Before long, even the days I didn't really want to show up, I just did.  Before long I felt really good about the physical discipline and about how I felt in my skin.  

As with so many things, life got in the way.  In the last year, I have let some of those habits go by the wayside that helped me feel so good and allowed me to be a healthier me.  So the end of January, I began the discipline again of showing up.  I began working my way back to the healthy habits that I know are good for me.  I also began doing what I know is the only way I will maintain my practice, and that is to ask God to help me.  Over and over again in my life, I have been reminded that God is able to do and want for me, far more that I can do or want for myself.  

Today, I decided to shake things up.  Yes, this was big, I got on a different treadmill, in a different room.  I know, I just don't do change easily.  I got the phone on the right app.  I got the machine all programed for my work out and I just so wanted it to be over.  But I also admit, that at this point, I am starting to look forward to it.  Don't tell anyone, I don't want to jinx it.  As I began running I look up, and in front of me, across the room is a door.  Wait, listen, the boards of the door form a cross.  Ok, so I see a cross, not everyone would, but I did.  It reminded me again as to why I was there, and that I was not alone.  I have help and I am stronger than I feel at this moment.  

Lectio divina, sometimes known as sacred reading, is a way to pray with scripture.  I would suggest that it is also a way of being present.  

"Benedictine monk Father Luke Dysinger describes as "a slow, contemplative praying of the Scriptures which enables the  Bible, the Word of God, to become a means of union with God.  "Lectio invites us to take a small bite of a text-a few verses or perhaps just a few words-and slowly chew on them, ponder them, and pray with them until they give up something that will provide sustenance for our souls and nourishment for our work in the world."  

Jan Richardson

Over the years I have found that this form of prayer can be expanded to other forms of texts and literature.  But what would it be like if we looked at our lives as sacred texts.  Jan Richardson in her book, In the Sanctuary of Women, suggests this and calls it,  Lectio on life.   

"Such a practice helps us remember that as with a written text, our experiences rarely contain just one meaning; much more often they contain multiple meanings or deepening meanings that only reveal themselves with time and attention."  

Jan Richardson

When we have the experience of telling someone else some part of our story, the world opens up.  It opens up in ways we could never have imagined.  If we are really blessed the other person shares some part of their story with us.  We realize that we are part of a great story, that we are not alone and we are not unique.  There are so many different things to learn from the stories we are living on this day, in this time.  

When I looked up from my running, I saw a cross.  Some would have seen a door.  I saw a symbol that for me, in a very simple and sacred way, reflected that God was with me.  That my life is not my own.  Even on the treadmill, we can see the sacred.  Who knew?  

Companion me along the way.

Lent 1 was yesterday.  In the lectionary texts for the day we read Psalm 25.  As is often the case for me, I like to reflect on the psalms using different words.  The following is from Psalms for Praying, by Nan C. Merrill.

Psalm 25

To You, O Love, I lift up my soul;

O Heart within my heart,

in You I place my trust. 

Let me not feel unworthy;

let not fear rule over me. 

Yes! let all who open their hearts

savor You and bless the earth!

Compel me to know your ways, O Love;

instruct me upon your paths.

Lead me in your truth,

and teach me,

for through You will I know

wholeness;

I shall reflect your light

both day and night. 

I know of your mercy, Compassionate One,

and of your steadfast love. 

You have been with me

from the beginning. 

Forgive the many times I have 

walked away from You 

choosing to walk alone. 

With your steadfast love, 

once again, 

Companion me along your way. 

You are gracious and just,

O Spirit of Truth, 

happy to guide those who 

miss their way;

You enjoy teaching all who are open, 

all who choose to live in truth. 

Your paths are loving and sure, 

O Holy One, 

for those who give witness to You

through their lives. 

For the honor of you Name, 

O Beloved,

forgive my separation from You. 

I bow down before You;

instruct me, that I might choose

the way of love and truth. 

I would live in your abundance,

and my children as well. 

Your friendship is offered to all

whose hearts are open; 

You will make known your promises 

to them. 

My eyes are ever on You, Beloved, 

keep my feet from stumbling 

along the way. 

Turn to me, O Holy One, and envelop me

with your love, for

I am lonely and oppressed. 

Relieve the blocks in my heart 

that keep me separated from You. 

See all the darkness within me; 

fill it with your healing light. 

Look at my pain and all my fears; 

they shut out love and life. 

Protect me and free me; 

let me not live as unworthy,

for I would make my home in You. 

May integrity and wholeness fill me

as I dwell with You, 

O Loving Presence.

O Beloved, as you renew me, 

redeem the nations, 

that we on earth may unfold

your Plan.   

Come alive.

In the middle of this cold and snowy February, I look out my window and every day I see people walking down the road.  They are bundled up, with hats, mittens, and other forms of warm outer wear.  They are very often carrying cross country skis over their shoulder.  At the end of our road is a cross country ski trail.  I watch them walk by and think, I should do that, and then go back to what I'm doing. 

Yesterday morning as a practice of Sabbath I bundled up, put on my boots, and carried skis to the end of my road, put them on and set out.  It was still, and so quiet.  The last time I had done this, I was 18 years old, I"m so not 18 years old anymore.  I walk these paths in the spring, summer and fall, but they look so different today.  Today there are paths groomed in all directions.  Today I am trying to listen to my body, trying to remember the lessons I learned so many years ago.  It takes a while to get the rhythm back.  It is so wonderful how the body remembers.  As I fumbled along, as I let go a bit, my body showed me what I needed to know.  

I could hear the branches creaking, the squeak of the snow under my skis, and then I look up, I see a flurry of activity.  Deer are up ahead of me.  This is their home, what am I doing here?  They frolic and play, and bound off.  

Some of the images that caught my attention are below.  Images are a way that I can share my experience when words fall short.  Images are a way we can be drawn in, in yet a new way.  What do you see?  

"God of the daylight, 

you come also in darkness,

and even in shadows

you make a home.

Be rest to the weary

and solace to the brokenhearted;

be healing to the sick,

and to the troubled, be peace.

Be our comfort, our dreaming,

our sleep, our delight;

breathe through these hours, 

O great God of night. "  

Jan Richardson

Stay put!

In the Sanctuary of Women, by Jan Richardson, today's reading was called, "In Search of Stability".   This one meditation that is part of a larger chapter on the dessert mothers, or ammas.

"In the early centuries of the church, as Christianity continued to find its form, women and men who sought to follow Christ began to move into the deserts of Egypt, Palestine, and Syria.  Leaving behind the familiar landscapes they had known, they went into the wilderness to divest themselves of all that separated them from God. 

These women and men, who became known as ammas(mothers) and abbas(fathers), undertook a way of life that we describe as ascetic-from the Greek askein, meaning 'exercise' or "work" as an athlete does.  The ammas and abbas sought the desert as a place to do this practicing, this exercising, this stretching of themselves toward God."  

If we think about it, Lent is a time when we are called to "practice" or "exercise" or even spend time discerning how our life is doing?  How we are doing?  How are our lives are reflecting God's work for us in the world?  

"Stability is a spiritual practice that simply means to stay put."

"The desert journey is one inch long and many miles deep." 

"When we hit the road, literally or figuratively, is it because of distraction? Fear of what's before us? Boredom? Resistance? Restlessness? " 

"The practice of stability impels us to find something worth giving ourselves to for a long, long time-a place, a community, a person, a path-and in that, to grow deeper in relationship with God who dwells there. "

On this cold day in the middle of February, here in New Hampshire, I stay put.  Not just because I am here out of necessity, but because beneath the restlessness is fear.  I stay put because beneath the resistance is failure.  I stay put because beneath the distractions is a God that loves me just the way I am, and way to much to leave me this way.  It is when I am able to sit still, to be, to dig deep in my relationship with God, that I find courage, strength and joy.  It is when I stay put, spend time and exercise those muscles of resilience, prayer and holy listening, that I know there is a reason for every time and every season.  It is then that I know I am right where I am supposed to be.  

Psalm 51

Yesterday after ashes were gently rubbed on our foreheads, after the words, "Remember it is from dust you came and from dust you shall return", after a sermon about how loved we are even in the midst of our brokenness, we kneel and pray Psalm 51.

Even as the leader of worship, my skin prickles and my heart hurts as I lead us in saying:

"Wash me through and through from my wickedness" (2)
"Indeed, I have been wicked from my birth," (6)
"I shall teach your ways to the wicked, and sinners shall return to you." (14)

It is a new and different world today than it was when these psalms were written.  Not all of the changes are for the better by any means.  Some would say that the psychology/theology mixture is not for the best.  For me, my faith in God and the healing power of God's grace in my life continues to be in the balance of self knowledge and the principles of a life in faith.  I say this because like many of us, I have spent many years, using multiple tools, to come to know and live into the belief that I am a beloved child of God.

For a multitude of reasons, it is easier for many to believe that they are "wicked".  For many it is far harder to live into the light and love of God's healing grace.  This is compounded by the challenge that we will continue to do and act in ways that we regret.  We are not given the ability to live without error.  Many theologians would say that is because we are called to remember that it is only with God's love and help that we are truly "right".

"Purge me from my sin, and I shall be pure;
wash me, and I shall be clean indeed," (8)

I am equally uncomfortable with this verse.  Ykes!! So I leave the Ash Wednesday service and I am forgiven.  Now I am purged of all sin, never to go there again.  I believe that this life of faith is one of daily connection and love from a God that knows me better than I know myself.  From a God that tells me is Psalm 139, that the darkness is not dark to you, that darkness and light are both alike. When we are loved, we are changed.  When we are loved we grow into that loving person that God longs for us to be.

So it is with that in mind that I offer up reflection on Psalm 51, written by Nan C. Merrill,  in the book, Psalms for Praying

Have mercy on me, O Gracious One, 

according your steadfast love;

according to you abundant kindness

forgive me where my thoughts and 

deeds have hurt others. 

Lead me in the paths of justice,

guide my steps on paths of peace!

Teach me, that I may know my weaknesses,

the shortcomings that bind me,

The unloving ways that separate me, 

that keep me from recognizing 

your life in me;

For, I keep company with fear, and 

dwell in the house of ignorance.

Yet, I was brought forth in love, 

and love is my birthright. 

You have placed your truth in the 

inner being;

therefore, teach me the wisdom 

of the heart.

forgive all that binds me in fear, 

that  I might radiate love;

cleanse me that your light might 

shine in me. 

fill me with gladness; help me to

transform weakness into strength.

Look not on my past mistakes 

but on the aspirations 

of my heart. 

Create in me a clean heart, O Gracious One,

and put a new and right spirit 

within me. 

enfold me in the arms of love, and 

fill me with your Holy Spirit. 

Restore in me the joy of your saving grace,

and encourage me with a new spirit. 

Then I will teach others your ways, 

and prisoners of fear will return to You. 

Deliver me from the addictions of society,

most gracious One, 

O keep me from temptation that 

I may tell of your justice and mercy. 

O Gracious One, open my lips and 

my mouth shall sing forth 

your praise. 

For You do not want sacrifice; 

You delight in our friendship

with You. 

A sacrifice most appropriate is a 

humble spirit;

a repentant and contrite heart, 

O Merciful One, 

is a gift you most desire. 

Let the nations turn from way, 

and encourage one another as 

good neighbors. 

O Most Gracious and Compassionate Friend,

melt our hears of stone,

break through the fears that 

lead us into darkness, and 

Guide our steps into the way of peace.

Let us go forth today, and live into the light and life that is our day.  Let us be the instruments that God most needs us to be today.  Amen

What would you say?

"May the One who dwells

in every landscape

divest you of all that hinders

your path into God."

Jan Richardson

On this cold winter day, we prepare to enter into Lent.  Many of us will go to a worship space and receive ashes on our forehead in the shape of a cross.  For some this brings up a history of penance, a time of self denial and over all darkness.  Some who were not brought up in a church that practiced this tradition or any church at all, wonder what we are talking about.  What are we talking about? 

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with our one wild and precious life?" 

Mary Oliver

When we are in relationships with people, real relationships with people, they require time and attention.  We drive to visit, we call when we aren't sure how they are doing, and we tend those emotional ties that connect us.  I don't know about you, but I let way to many of these things slip through my fingers.  Time passes and work, or any number of other things cause me to feel that yet again, I have let time and attention go by the wayside.  Do we let our relationship with God slip also?  Do we spend time or attention there?  

"God is calling you to connection.  God wants us to use our time not just wisely, but sacredly, in order to thrive.  Learning to use our time well, as God intended, does require us to be intentional about how we approach our life, with all it's diverse components. "

SSJE

As we enter this season of Lent, how can we spend time and attention on our relationship with God and our faith?  If someone asks you what this is all about, what will you say?  What does it really mean to you?  What do those ashes on your forehead have to do with your life, God and the world around you?   What will you say?  

Life and Time.

Last summer, as I left an annual 8 day silent retreat, my spiritual director handed me a bright yellow card.  It had been a very grounding and revealing week.  Her guidance was clear, thoughtful and bold.  It was with some trepidation that I was headed back to the real world.  I looked down to see what was on the card in my hand.

"Tell me.  What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"  Mary Oliver

How do we use time?  What is God calling us to do or be?  How can we allow those wild and precious times in our lives to surface?  Do we miss them?  

Lent is a time of year we are invited to be very intentional about our life of faith.  For some it has a very penitential feel, but that does not need to be the purpose.  What is it that inhibits our relationship with God?  What is it that gets in the way of us being the the people God most longs for us to be?  This is a season of renewal.  This is a season of breathing new life into those dark places.  

"Figuring out how to keep a holy Lent can be a challenge, but if we move beyond the popular conceptions( and  misconceptions), Lent holds the possibility for real change - or to use the church's word, conversion - in our lives, as well as for rich and lasting spiritual growth. ( The word "lent" comes from the Anglo-Saxon word lencton, referring to the springtime of the year when the days grow longer and warmer and brighter.)" 

* Taken from:  Daily Prayer for All Seasons

Each year I love to find daily prayers or reflections for this season. This is a time of year that has always held tremendous meaning for me, long before I knew of Lent.  Being from New England and still living here, when lent begins, the weather is cold, the snow is on the ground, and in some ways we do hibernate.  It is an interior time.  But as the days stretch out before us, the liturgy and story of the Gospel invites us to find that light and love that is the fire within.  

This year our church will be using the The Society of St. John the Evangelist, lenten program, It's time to Stop, Pray, Work, Play, Love.  I will attach the link if you are interested.   In the opening letter from Geoffrey Tristram, the Superior, he says: 

"We believe that our disordered relationship with time is at the root of so many of the stresses and anxieties  people experience today, and we hope that the reordering of our relationship to time will help draw us into the abundant life which Jesus promises us."  

The wind is blowing outside my window  and the snow blows around.  This Wednesday is Ash Wednesday.  The sign of a cross is gently placed on our fore heads, as we hear the words, 'Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return."  This is a full circle moment, "You are my beloved, with you I am well pleased."  

"Tell me, What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? " 

Mary Oliver

As we begin this new season, I look forward to the wisdom and grace that will inevitably come from the tilling of such rich soil.  

O God of love, you are the true Sun of the world, evermore risen and never going Down: We pray you to shine in our hearts and drive away the darkness of sin and the mist of error.  We pray that we may, this day and all our lives long, walk without stumbling in the way you have prepared for us, which is Jesus Christ our Lord; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy spirit, one God in glory everlasting."  Amen

* Taken from: Daily Prayer For All Seasons