Paul Tillich
I myself do nothing. The Holy Spirit accomplishes all through me. "
William Blake
Fall has come to the North East. The air is crisp, the sun dances off the water and the leaves have begun to splash color on the canvas that is theirs alone.
Almost two years ago, I began the journey back to fitness. This was the direct result of turning 50. On one of the many forms of technoly that I gather information, I heard that to maintain your weight one must walk at least 10,000 steps. After those steps would be the ones that would allow your body to burn calories. This shouldn't be so hard, I thought.
On my next trip out, I bought a pedometer. For any new endeavor, doesn't a person need new equipment? In my mind I thought that if I began the process of making some kind of investment, I would stay with it. Let me clarify here, this had never worked before, but maybe this time would be different. Years ago, I heard a wise woman say that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. This thought never occurred to me, I was on a mission.
For the next week, I wore my pedometer. This was actually a great exercize, pun intended. Not one day that week did I get even close to 10,000 steps. What I came to realize was that my life consisted of moving from one seat to the other. Seat at home, seat in the car, seat at meetings, seat in people's homes, back to seat in my home. Whew, what a day!! To say this was discouraging and a bit of a wake up call would be an understatement.
What am I going to do? For years I had heard about this "Couch to 5K" program. There was no doubt that the couch part fit me, but I had never seen myself as a runner. But, it was free, I could do it on my own time and on my own terms. Ok, back to the store! New sneakers were an important investment in my new endeavor. All the websites agreed that this was necessary and I agreed. I will say that this was a good investment and was important.
I began slugging through my neighborhood. It became clear how very out of shape I had let myself become. Earlier in my life, I was very active in sports, coached and just loved being active. I found myself really thinking about how long ago that had been. Time passes sometimes and the narrative of our lives unfold, time does not occur to us. I had been busy raising children, working, getting my masters degree two states away, doing internships, changing careers, leaving a marriage, relationships, new commitments, new jobs, moving to a new community. This does not feel like a sedentary life, but somehow that is what it had become.
How do we abandon our physical health? We carry these bodies around. Wait, they carry us around. Yes, we are blessed with the amazing physical structure that is our body. How often do we thank it for all it does? How often are we aware of the miracle that is our physical structure? I became very aware of how much I have taken my good health for granted. Being blessed is one thing, being stupid is another. I joke, but when I became aware of the lack of care and attention I paid to my physical health, I knew that I had to do something.
With God's help it has been almost two years since I bought that pedometer. It has been a journey of coming to terms with the reality of my own limits. But with that has come the empowering experience of working hard, getting to know myself in a new way, and learning that my physical being and spiritual being live in the same house.
On this day, I was able to put on my sneakers, not the same ones. On this day I was able to go out into the beautiful fall morning, put on my ear buds, listen to a wonderful book, see the beauty around me and run(not what some would call run, but for me it is), not really fast, but steady for 1 hour. Isn't that what life requires of us? To show up, have the proper equipment, listen to the narrative that calls us that day and pay attention to the world around us. I am grateful to be learning the patience that running teaches me. It is only for this day. I can train and learn and improve. I am growing and thriving even on the days that call for rest.
We are called to be present and attentive to the physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual aspects of who we are. The order and perfection of these areas are not important. What is important on the days when we feel like we do not know what direction to take, what path calls us, where are we supposed to turn, put on what ever are your sneakers and go one step at a time. Perhaps you are a painter, pick up your brush, perhaps you are a photographer, pick up your camera, Perhaps a knitter, pick up your needles. Whatever calls you to be still of heart and mind, whatever allows you to be present to God, pick it up.
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