A Friendship Blessing

A Friendship Blessing

May you be blessed with good friends.
May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.
May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where
there is great love, warmth, feeling, and forgiveness.
May this change you.
May it transfigure that which is negative, distant, or cold in you.
May you be brought in to the real passion, kinship, and affinity of belonging.
May you treasure your friends.
May you be good to them and may you be there for them; may they bring you all the blessings, challenges, truth,
and light that you need for your journey.
May you never be isolated.
May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your anam cara. 

By John O'Donohue


"May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where there is great love, warmth, feeling, and forgiveness." 

The idea of journeying to a place in my soul is one that jumps out at me today.  This has been and continues to be a great summer.  Journey seems to be a theme that I have been able to play with a lot.  Until recently, journey always was something that I read about, reflected on in a metaphorical way, or just plain wondered about.   Recently I returned from a trip to Ireland.  The journey began long before the plane left the ground and continues to move me. 

Words have become one of those things that I love to play with and continue to peak my curiosity.  In seminary we were encouraged to take Greek and Hebrew so that we could really see and play with language.  I could not do everything, so that was not one of the areas that I was able to tackle but wonder if I might some day.  But, today I just went to a dictionary, and wanted to look at what the word journey really means.  This is what I found:

a. The act of traveling from one place to another; a trip.

b. A distance to be traveled or the time required for a trip: a 2,000-mile journey to the Pacific; the three-day journey home.

2. A process or course likened to traveling; a passage: the journey of life.

v. jour·neyed, jour·ney·ing, jour·neys

To make a journey; travel.

This was found on a Free dictionary site on the web.  Moving from one place to another, traveling in time and space, and yet, so much of my life I wonder if the longest journeys haven't been within me.

"May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where there is great love, warmth, feeling and forgiveness."

 As far away as Ireland is and seemed, without doubt this is the longest journey of all.  A life of faith invites us to a way of being that is both very personal and very much in community.  Each of us is called to this in different ways.  One of the things that continues to surface as a challenge for me is to keep these in balance.

 When we are on any journey we need to know who we are and what we need.  Packing all the right things is one of the first challenges.  This is especially true in this day and age of flying and being charged for everything, it seems.  What are the proper shoes? How many cloths should you bring and what kinds of cloths will you need or want in my case?  Be sure to have the  proper medications, and of course, any hygiene products that feel like a must.  Are you a person that can go, go, go, and never need any down time?  Or are you a person that wants to see, learn and experience things, but also need some time to let it sink in?  Do you make meaning in your world by talking to people and making different experiences thought connection?  Or is it possible to feel like you can blend into the scenery and come to know the place form the inside out? 

As I learn more about journey, I am learning to be more gentle on myself and more inquisitive about who I am.  We spend many years of our lives trying to change and perhaps improve who we are.  This is important and fundamental to growing up.  But I am coming to know that in that growing process, a key element is meeting oneself, as if meeting an old and special friend.  Think of someone in your life that you love and respect, not in a casual way, but in that way that comes from experience or knowing that they really are someone "important" to you.  When I do this, I do not think of that person's shortcomings, or ways that that person could or should change.  I think of the ways that I feel genuine love and caring for that person.  I think of things they have said or done that have changed or influenced who I am.  I think of things that I have learned and loved because of knowing them. 

"May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where there is great love, warmth, feeling, and forgiveness."

What would it be like to think of ourselves in that light?  What would it be like to think of that place within us, that place we could call the soul, as a place of great love, great warmth, a place that the journey can either originate from or can be the destination. 

Faith is a lifetime journey, one that is never stagnant, one that is always full of surprises.  My prayer today is that we can honor different aspects of this path.  John O"Donohue says, "Prayer is the act and presence of sending this light from the bountifulness of your love to other people to heal, free, and bless them.  When there is love in your life, you should share it spiritually with those who are pushed to the very edge of life.  There is a lovely idea in the Celtic tradition that if you send out goodness from yourself, or if you share that which is happy or good within you, it will all come back to you multiplied ten thousand times.  In the kingdom of love there is no competition; there is no possessiveness or control." 

Today as I write, I honor the journey within, the journey that is our path of faith and truth.  It is important for all of us to continue to know and articulate that journey that leads to that place of love, warmth and forgiveness.  Today is important to remember that it is from that place that God can most effectively speak.  It is from that place that we can most effectively hear God.  Today I am reminded that the journey can be many things, can move in many directions, and always makes life interesting. 

"May you be able to journey to that place in your soul were there is great love, warmth, feeling, and forgiveness." 

Today I give thanks for the journey that is life and God's grace in it all.

What is a Spiritual Person?

A question that was posed to me today could seem like
a simple one, but when I let my mind wander I
was yet again suprised where it went.  I pose the
question to you.

Think about the images that come to mind when
you think about who you are as a
spiritual person.  What pictures do you see?
What stories come to mind? 

When I think about myself as a spiritual person today my mind wanders back to a time in my life when I did a lot of guided meditation. This was a time in my life where I was very focused on healing. It seems really unimportant today what I was healing from and more important that I was so passionate about the journey.

One of the places that I would go in my mind was this very peaceful place on Kesar Lake. Our family had a plot of land right on the water. My then husband and I spent some of our most wonderful time there. It was an old broken down building. No plumbing, no electricity, no phones, no internet. It had been let go for many years. My grandfather had loved this place and it was his fishing cabin. As a young married couple we had very little, but we both loved the idea of getting away. We both knew very little about what peace or contentment felt like. We lived in a busy world and had very busy minds. We would go and camp at this place.

Many afternoons I spent cleaning out the very old kitchen and living space. Nature had taken over as the years had gone by. This was a wooden structure and the windows were old and there was no insolation. This was an old fashioned fishing cabin. The kitchen had a wonderful large farmer’s sink with a pump. It was a rich black color and had lived through much. There were cupboards that were still filled with old dishes. Today we would call it china. Much of it was cracked and dirty, but through the dust, you could see pink roses, and green leaves. Cracks splinted out from points of origin that one will never know about. Yet, pilled high were dinner plates, cups, saucers, serving dishes, and other random items that were undoubtly used to serve meals at one time. What was the story behind these dishes? Who had eaten these meals?

One of the most wonderful parts of this cabin was the wraparound porch. This was a large and screened in area where many hours could be spent. There was room for a table, chairs and seemed to be calling out for rocking chairs. This was one of the first areas that we cleaned out and made usable. We fixed the screens and put boards up over then so that we could begin the process of protecting this treasure from the wildlife and the elements. It felt magical to sit in the rocking chairs, listen to the loons out on the lake and play cards. We would use lanterns and kerosene.

Why does this flood back as I try to answer a question about being a spiritual person? Life was hard at this time, but there was something wonderful about the peace of new love. There was something wonderful about sharing this journey with someone else. It was so peaceful and at times exciting to explore a new place, a place that was full of history and yet could be an open canvas of new possibilities. I think for both of us we also felt very in touch with God there. The distractions of our daily lives felt far away. The pressures of our lives and the expectations that we were trying to figure out, could rest.

Waking in the morning was a wonderful time. I say this not because I ever like waking up from a wonderful, peaceful, deep sleep. I say this because if you have ever seen the mist rise up over a lake, only to expose the light dancing off the water, you know what I mean. I have a photograph somewhere, which is in my mind’s eye right now. Danny was in a canoe, all by himself, maybe our golden retriever was with him, but I don’t see him. He was heading out on the lake in the fog. Peace, quiet, grace, these are words that come to mind when I see that image.

We built a dock that made it possible to sit out on the lake and watch the sun come up and watch it go down. The water was so clear that you could see the rocks at the bottom of the lake. It was cold and yet more refreshing than any place I can remember.

Each Sunday night we would pack up our van with all our things. Each time leaving a few more items of our own, and head home to the world that was waiting. As I remember these times today I remember feeling fresh, new, ready for the week ahead. The water, the sleep, the smell of the fire, and the fresh cooked food, all felt like a form of nourishment it was hard to get anywhere else.

I discovered this place after I was married, but also after my mother passed away. I knew that it had been a big bone of contention in my family. There were those that wanted to sell this property, and my mother never did. Yet, we never went there, and never spent any time there. I do believe that for my mother this place was in some way representative of unfulfilled dreams, of a time gone by that she would never know. In some ways looking back now it may have become the same for me.

During the year after we had found this place, my father was offered a large amount of money for the property. He knew of our new found love of the place and our desire to over the years make it our own. All I can remember is begging him not to sell it. But as we all know, sometimes in life we don’t always know what the bigger picture is. Or we are unable to change another’s thoughts or behavior. My dad sold the property anyway. It was one of those big losses that I can still feel as I write this. It was clearly not mine to hold, but the images and experience of Grace stay with me today.

Ahh, but that is not the story here. Over the years when I go to meditation and feel like I want to go to a special place in my soul, this is where I go. In my mind’s eye, I can see the lake as it stretches out before me. Sometimes I feel like a small child in overalls and high top red sneakers. Sometimes I feel like the woman I have become. Today that woman can discover that peace and contentment in the world around her. When she can’t she knows how to step away, how to remove herself from the world long enough to refresh her soul and spirit. Today when I think of who I am as a spiritual person, I can see the young girl with the high top sneakers walking hand in hand with a woman, a loving, compassionate, strong, smart and faithful woman. Today I can know that with all the brokenness that is part of being human, with all the challenges that make up the story of my life, I know that God has been my companion all along the way. God is there the days I feel more like the child and we can be very playful, and encourages and empowers me as the woman that can’t wait to tell the world about how absolutely amazing God really is.

Sometimes in our journey there are places and times that we can go back to that remind us of who we are and where we came from. Sometimes those same places can be touchstones for our lives in faith. Today, I give thanks and remember that camp. I give thanks for my time there and my grandfather whose spirit lived there. Where are places in your life that you can see when you close your eyes, those places that remind you of the ever present love of God?

Seize the Day

"In the silence of your hearts or in spoken words let us give thanks for the gift of this day and pray for the life of the world..."  J. Philip Newell

Recently I have taken up a new hobby.  Actually it is one that my mother tried to have me appreciate as a young child.  I am learning to play the piano.  

In our living room growing up we had a baby grand piano.  It was black and the piano bench held sheets of wonderful music.  But what I remember is that I loved to pick up the cover of this bench and let it slam shut.  Not hard, not enough to hurt anything, but surly enough to bother my mother.  The keys were tarnished over time and were a worn ivory color.  It was fun to sit on the bench and pretend that I could play beautiful music.  

My mother set up piano lessons with a Mr. Petillio.  He taught music on the campus of the school where we lived.  He was from Europe and had a very curious accent for a young girl.  In all fairness to this man, I don't think he was used to young children.  It is also important to note, no pun intended, that I was not a child with a long attention span.  As hard as I try, I have very little recollection of these lessons.  What I do remember is the regular arguing with my mother about practicing.  Siting in the passenger seat of our family car, driving up the driveway, knowing that I didn't know my lesson, was never fun.  Yet week after week, I would be relieved that that lesson was over and approach it exactly the same the upcoming week.  Needless to say, I never became a gifted musician.  At some point he must have convinced my mother that this was not working.  

Sometimes in life, it is so funny to look back.  Many of us spend a lot of time reflecting so that we can come to know ourselves better.  Healing and coming to terms with a difficult past involves remembering these events, telling the story and looking at ways to move on from  those places of brokenness and move into our lives today.  This is important work and very sacred ground.  But sometimes I find it really funny to look back at those times when life was funny, or I was mischievous, or even think, Wow, how did I miss that? 


Playing the piano is one of my favorite things to do these days.  I love to practice, I love to learn a new cord, a new song, or a new way of doing something.  I love the work I do. It is a blessing to know how God can best use your gifts and talents in the world.  My life has meaning and purpose.  But all that said it is very hard for me to play.  I am silly and often joyful.  The time I experience that most is during worship.  But I want to be able to play, be silly and relax outside of my work.  Ahhhhhh,  this is where the piano comes in.  

"When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.  From now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face.  Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.  And now fatih, hope and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love." 

1 Cor. 13:11-13 

Music is one of the ways that many are able to pray, play or grieve.  Music speaks to our hearts and our souls. It can sooth us, comfort us, it speaks to us in ways nothing else does.   Children experience faith on a very simple and authentic level.  As we grow older we gather defenses and ideas that complicate and confuse the way we experience the world.  Yes, it also informs the way we see the world, but sometimes don't we get in the way?

Going back to the piano at this point in my life has been a blessing.  It is a time of meditation and peace.  It can also be a time of fun and playfulness.  It is good to grow and learn.  I am no longer the child that cannot sit still.  The child that just couldn't find the discipline amidst the turmoil in my home to learn new things.  Today I smile when I look back and see her squirming on the piano bench, Today I have compassion for her desire to play and her complete inability to learn.  Today it is she that gathers her books and hurries to her lesson.  She hurries to her lesson with expectation and excitement.  

For some life is short, for some life is long.  The more people I meet and the more stories I hear, there is a common thread that jumps out.  Curiosity and the desire to learn feed the spirit and the mind.  

What are you curious about?  What is something that you  would like to learn or do? 

Today I give thanks for patienct teachers and joyfull noise.  

What do you give thanks for today?  

An excerpt from a favorite poem: 

" Of course I have always known you

are present in the clouds, and the 

black oak I especially adore, and the 

wings of birds.  But you are present 

too in the body, listening to the body, 

teaching it to live, instead of all 

that touching, with disembodied joy. 

We do not do this easily.  We have 

lived so long in the heaven of touch, 

and we maintain our mutability, our

physicality, even as we begin to 

apprehend the other world.  Slowly we 

make our appreciative response. 

Slowly appreciation swells to 

astonishment.  And we enter the dialogue

of our lives that is beyond all under-

standing or conclusion.  It is mystery.

It is love of God.  It is obedience. 

Oh feed me this day, Holy  Spirit, with

the fragrance of the fields and the 

freshness of the oceans which you have 

made, and help me to hear and to hold

in all dearness those exacting and wonderful 

works of our Lord Christ Jesus, saying: 

Follow me.  "  

From the Poem:  Six Recognitions of the Lord, by Mary Oliver

Great Moments

"When a great moment knocks on the door of your life, it is often no louder than the beating of your heart, and it is very easy to miss it." 
                           John O'Donohue

It has been a long time since I have posted here and it is so odd and wonderful that I have missed it.  Writing is one of those things in my life that I have such a love, hate relationship with.  Other things that come under that category are exercise, eating well, or overall self care as opposed to instant gratification or comfort.  Why is it that the very things that can help us to feel good, sometimes are the very things we most resist?  

Writing has come to be one of those places that allow me to look at the world through a specific lens.  Writing is a very significant way that I am able to stop and try to express the experience that we call life.  For many this is either not something that they need to do, or perhaps you do it in different ways.  Photography, music, painting, or other forms of the arts are common ways that people express who they are. 

Long ago I read that the best writers were avid readers.  Since I was a small child I have loved books.  I love the way some books look.  Open a book to a specific page and there, written down, are the very words that you were looking for.  Learning is something that in my early life I struggled with a lot.  I loved to escape to my room with a good book, to open the pages in the quiet and enter into the story that was before me.  As children in my family, my mother read to us before we went to sleep each night.  Looking back now, this went on much later than I would have thought.  We were in middle school I think when she finally stopped.  I remember this as a very calm and peaceful time.  A time when we were encouraged to relax and let our minds wander.  There were no expectations, no tests, just the voice of our mother and the story she held.  Recently, I have thought many times that I don't think it is any coincidence that both of my brothers and myself are avid readers. 

Everywhere I go books surround me.  I have books on theology of all different forms and from all different perspectives.  Fiction is one of the things I love very much, it continues to be a place where I can relax and breath.  Biographies are a wonderful way to enter into history and come to know the voice of people that become friends.  There are many other things that line my shelves, but what is important is the comfort and pleasure I find in writing.  

Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom, by John O'Donohue is one of the books that I am reading right now. " Anam is the Gaelic word for soul: cara is the word for friend.  The anam cara was a person to whom you could reveal the hidden intimacies of your life."  As I begin to read this book a few different thoughts have come to mind.  The first is that over the course of my life there have been many people that have helped me reveal who I am and where the divine exits in the world.  These moments in time come back to me as times of grace.  

Who are the people in your life that have allowed you to  come to know the intimacies deep within your own soul?  

I am also reminded of what a life long journey this life is.  God is ever present and yet, ever changing.  Growing and learning about the interaction between our interior lives and the world around us is the very balance we seek. O'Donohue says: "since the birth of the human heart is an ongoing process, love is the continuous birth of creativity with and between us." 

This posting began with quote about great moments.  Today I am aware that one of the ways that I am able to see or be present in moments is to have the gift of writing about them.  Writing is a primary way that I am able to feel like I am part of the world around me.  Many times it is not until after I have written something that I am even aware that was in my heart or mind.  

What are ways that you feel part of the life you live?  How are you able to tell the stories that are hiding?  

What do you see through that window?  God is looking in with you or may be looking back.  Maybe both at the same time.  But we must look to know. 

 

Alleluia

"Life itself is an exercise in learning to sing Alleluia here in order to recognize the face of God hidden in the recesses of time."  Joan Chittister

 

It is an Alleluia view of every present moment, a view that welcomes it's complexity and subjects it to the more lasting view, the long view of life." 

Joan Chittister

Sitting here in my warm and comfy kitchen, I look out the window and snow covers the backyard.  I live in New England, I love the change in seasons.  Without doubt, by the time spring comes I am beyond ready for the cold to disappear and the hits of a warm breeze to sneak in.  Recently, I was remembering being a child growing up in a small town in Maine.  My grandparents owned an operated a dairy farm.  They grew corn, hayed the fields and in the spring, boiled maple syrup.  The buckets would be hung from the trees and the sap was would drip from a metal spout that had been inserted into the trunk.  It was never my thing to help collect or do any of this.  I loved the smell of the boiling sap, the smell of the wood burning and the cozy little building that housed the necessary equipment.  As a young child my mother and grandmother would make homemade donuts and we would go over and dip them in the freshly boiled syrup.  One of the other fun and exciting elements of this time was the very muddy road that lead to this place.  We used to talk about mud season, it was a very real time of year.  We would get special boots because your feet could sink so deep in the mud that you couldn't pull your foot up.  You can imagine the fun a child would have pulling their socked foot out of the boot and having to walk in the mud. 

It is fun to remember these times in childhood. Often in our lives, we remember those times that were painful, those places and people that left an imprint on our lives that we struggle to change or remove.  Why sometimes is it easier to remember the times of suffering than the times of joy.  Why sometimes is it easier to remember the times someone did something that was painful, than the times of joy or peace?  Perhaps an important part of our healing journey is remembering and healing from those places.  I know that has been incredibly important for me.  But as I sit here, I am reminded how seldom I have thought of those very special times in my childhood that were fun or comforting They seem so magical and special now.  But then, it was what I knew, it was just another day.  There were other things that were distracting me, other things that my mind was always struggling with.  Being in the present was not something I even had language for.  Some of that was developmental, a longing to be somewhere else, to be something else.  But how often do we miss life as it flies by, struggling to be in the moment?  How I would love to remember how it felt to have my feet squishing in the mud.  

"Uncommon Gratitude, Alleluia For All That Is."  By Joan Chittister, Rowan Williams, is a book that I had been suggested to me.  It came yesterday.  I must admit that the idea of coming home to a box with new books on my doorstep is really wonderful.  In just starting these reflections, I am very grateful for the reminder  to look for God in the present.  We are in those days after Easter in the year of the church and Jesus keeps appearing and the disciples don't recognize him.  Hummmm,   Would I?  Would you?  

I leave this today with a reflection from the book, written by Joan Chittister: 

 "Every segment of life is both gift and challenge, both endowment and responsibility.  It is the warp and woof of the fabric we call time.  The delicate interplay between the two has the power to rock us back and forth between total confidence and abject despair.  We lurch through life between doubt and faith, between security and cloying uncertainty, between the enrichment that comes from differences and the divisions that come from fear.  It is learning to cling to a sense of alleluia for both that carries us through life to that moment when everything in us has come to fullness and our only next step is immersion. in God."  

Underwater

"Circle me O God 

Keep hope within 

Despair without."  

David Adam

There are times in life when what we see is not always what is there.  Actually, I'm not sure that is true at all.  What we see is in fact what "we" see.  Perhaps what I am thinking about is how much we miss.  This is a picture taken of a stream.  Water is flowing quickly, waves ripple along the surface, a leaf is moving swiftly to it's next destination.  Upon first glance would you have guessed that the grass and stones are under the flowing water?  I ask this all with the assumption that you looked at the picture at all.  

So much of life is right there for us to see and experience.  I am beginning some reading on Celtic Spirituality.  Today I begin a book of daily readings that I would like to share.  "Praying with Celtic Saints, Prophets, Martyrs, and Poets", by June Skinner Sawyers.  

"The Celts had a deep reverence for the land and for nature itself.  Ritual was an important part of their daily life.  More important, thought, was the belief that God resides everywhere, in everyone, and in everything.  At heart, they were poets, and it is this poetic spirit, shining through their spirituality that people find so appealing today."

The last couple of weeks for me have been ones of great learning.  Not book learning, not the kind of learning that I will ever be tested for, at least not in the traditional sense.  But a learning about who I am, who we all are, and what I want to do in my life.  

As a young person there was much to be thinking about.  Each stage of our lives brings new concerns, new possibilities.  We come into the world with the powerful and important lessons of eating, sleeping, and the advanced skill of rolling over.  Time goes on and with that comes the many developmental challenges that are appropriate for who we are.  I have been struck recently just how much of our lives are spent learning to navigate the world around us, learning who we are in relation to our surroundings, and trying to find our own path.  

As we grow and learn we look around our environment, our families and friends for clues and lessons about what this whole life thing is about.  Over time we grow and change, we live and learn, we come to know that the work here is really to become our own individual.  God created us all in God's image and yet all uniquely different.  We are each called to be exactly who we need to be and then live in the world in a way that serves to make this world a better place.  

OK, so what do you see?  How is that journey going?  Where are you on that path?  


"There are other qualities as well: a mindfulness, a being present in the moment, a celebration of place, and a sense of unity with all of the earth's creatures.  It is an all-encompassing spirituality that, at its fundamental best, is life affirming."  


For each of us there comes a time when we must really embrace who we are, who we are becoming and what we want this life to be.  As an adult woman, my life looks very differently than my mothers did.  There are many wonderful gifts that she left me with, many ways of being that I treasure.  But with those gifts and my history, I have a new story.  With God's help, what do I want that to look like?  


Today I rejoice in the life I have been blessed with.  Today I want to see my journey as open to the infinite possibilities known only to God.  Today I pray to notice the barriers that I erect, and move past them.  


"The Presence of God is an eternal fact.  He never leaves us alone or forsakes us.  It is when we lose sight of Him that we falter and sink beneath the waves. "   David Adam

Resurrection Story

"The Miracle Worker" is a play written  by William Gibson.  It is a play that gives us a glimpse into the life of Helen Keller.  Her autobiography is aptly called, "The Story of My Life".  Each time I enter into the world of this amazing woman, I am reminded of her passion, courage and strength.  God calls us each from different places, at different times and within different contexts.  But, the important message here is that God in fact calls us all. 

Helen Keller was struck by a profound illness at 19 months old and was left to experience life as blind, deaf and mute.  Each time that I enter into the story of her life, I try to imagine the profound darkness that  must have been her experience.  What must it have been like to not be able to hear, see, or communicate in any way?  As we were to discover later in life, she was gifted intellectually and very passionate about the world in which she lived.  Imagine the darkness and stark reality of living in a world that I can only imagine as a locked cell.  What is the mind like when left alone?  The primary source of sensory input that Helen was able to experience was that of touch.  She could feel things emotionally, physically and spiritually, but had no way to make meaning of this experience, no way of expressing herself, and no way to learn and interact with the world.  It is said that after her illness through the age of 7 she did come to learn some 60 signs so that she could communicate with her family and her young friend Martha Washington, who was the daughter of the family cook.  I still have a very difficult time imagining how this was possible with the limitations of blindness and deafness.  What I am reminded of each time I spend time learning and reading about Helen Keller is her determination and resilience. 

Anne Sullivan was a woman that had been through tremendous difficulty.  At age 5 she was taken with Trachoma and this left her blind.  She came from an abusive Alcoholic family.  Her mother died 2 years after her illness and her father abandon her.  She grew up  in an orphanage in Tweksbury, Mass.  She was able to undergo many surgeries over the years and was able to gain some of her sight back.  She was hired to move in with the Keller family to be Helen's teacher.  The family was really at the end of their rope.  Helen was lucky enough to have been born into a family of privilege and they were able to provide for her resources that others may not have been able to have. 

Anne and Helen came from different worlds.  Both had suffered hardships, but Helen's family wanted to love her and coddle her.  They felt so badly about her disability that that was really all they could see?  Isn't it interesting that the word "see" comes to mean so much more in this context?  Anne had been brought up by the people in the orphanage and was cared for and supported but not enabled in anyway.  As I read about her life, those that brought her up did all they could to prepare her to live in the world.  They saw her potential, her possibilities, her gifts.  What do we see? 

When Anne came into the Keller home she had to set some really clear limits with the family.  She knew that if Helen was to learn she needed clear boundaries and expectations.  She knew that she needed to be called to be all she could be, that she was not to be pitied or sheltered.  Anne knew that she was called to prepare Helen for the world around her.  With her limited ability for sight she was able to see and believe in Helen's possibilities. 

Initially this was very painful for the family, they had a very hard timne coming to know and understand the difference between enabling and respecting one with expectations, and follow through.  Helen's passion often translated in willful fits and major disruption to the family.  Anne did not let her get away with it.  Anne respected Helen enough to not let her behave in a way that was hurtful, disruptive, and kept the world away. 

Water is often used in faith traditions as a sign of new life and rebirth.  The primary way that Anne was trying to teach Helen to develop language, to communicate, was to spell words our in her hand.  She would place Helen's hand on something and then spell it out in her hand.  Time went on, day after day, tantrum after tantrum, nothing, no connections made.  Yet, Anne did not give up.  She knew there was no where else to go, nothing else to turn to, but she also believed it had to be possible. 

One day after a tantrum during a family dinner, Helen runs outside.  Anne runs after her.  The story unfolds and Helen pumps water out of the well, she feels it running over her hand, she feel the coolness of the liquid running through her fingers.  Anne takes her hand and spells, W-A-T-E-R.  In a moment that must have felt like pure Grace, Helen raises her head, alive with wonder and knowing.  She takes Ann's hand, puts it under the pump, the water flows freely, then she spells W-A-T-E-R in her hand.  Anne is able to respond with Y-E-S.  At this point Helen runs wildly around the yard with Anne in tow, touching things and having her spell then out in her hand.  The chasm as been crossed, the bridge between darkness and isolation and the outside world has been found. 

God calls us to cross the bridge from where ever it is in our lives that we feel stuck.  God calls us to remember that we are all called to know who we are and what we are passionate about.  When I enter into this story again and again, I am reminded that we so often "see" limitations where we don't have to.  How is it that you are not really looking at the world around you?

Today, I want to really see.  I want to really hear.  Today, I give thanks for the gift of communication and the ability to make meaning of the world around me. 

Gracious God, Thank you for my health and healing.  Thank you for the many gifts that surround me.  Thank you for the hardship that I have had.  With that hardship I continue to grow and learn, I continue to see you in the midst of this life. 

Helen grew and flourished.  She became an American author, a political activist, and a lecturer.  She was the first deaf, blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree.   With Anne at her side and many others along the way, she lived her life communicating to the world her thoughts and experiences.  God is so good. 

Where do you see stories of resurrection? 

Good Friday

"O God of unchangeable power and eternal light:  Look favorably on your whole Church, that wonderful and sacred mystery; by the effectual working of your providence, carry out in tranquility the plan of salvation; let the whole world see and know that things which were cast down are being raised up, and things which had grown old are being made new, and that all things are being brought to their perfection by him through whom all things were made, your Son Jesus Christ our Lord; who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.  Amen. "  

Book of Common Prayer. pg. 280

Maundy Thursday

"Jesus calls us to continue his mission of revealing the perfect love of God in this world. He calls us to total self-giving. He does not want us to keep anything for ourselves. Rather, he wants our love to be as full, as radical, and as complete as his own. He wants us to bend ourselves to the ground and touch the places in each other that most need washing. He also wants us to say to each other, "Eat of me and drink of me." By this complete mutual nurturing, he wants us to become one body and one spirit, united by the love of God." Henri Nouwen

I sit here and look out the window. It is an amazingly beautiful day. It truly feels like the day the Lord has made and I hope many of us will get to Rejoice and be very glad. There are many things one can learn from being sick and really having to step out of all the daily responsibilities, roles, or interactions. One of the things that always surprises me is the gratitude and joy I feel for my health. Over the years I have come to believe one of the most important spiritual disciplines we can practice for ourselves and the world is one of gratitude. Each day I give thanks for my health, for the physical body that carries me through this life. But it can be a daily struggle to take care of it the way I believe it deserves. With all that said I do without doubt know that I am blessed with health and a body that serves me very well. Today, I left the house with a bounce in my step. After a week of dragging and 4 days of real illness, today I finally felt like myself. I felt like myself.

"Jesus calls us to continue his mission of revealing the perfect love of God in this world."

Maundy Thursday is the day in the Christian faith that we remember Jesus last meal with his friends or disciples. On this night he knew that he was about to be betrayed. He knew that his time with those around him as well as those he had met and come to love and care for was about to end. The mission of love and labor that God had entrusted to him on earth was about to come to a close. The task ahead of him this night was to give them ways to ritualize this time. But, more importantly, give them ways to remember and come to embody the love that he felt for them. So often we think how impossible it is to express how much we love this person, place or situation. Yet, it is often through the acts of the familiar that we are brought back.

Jesus uses the symbols of bread and wine to guide us. In some traditions the Eucharist or Communion is very much like a memorial meal. By that I mean, there are prayers said and a person may take some grape juice or wine as well as bread. They may do this with the intention of remembering Jesus. For others of us, the Eucharist is a sacrament. We believe that within the context of prayers and worship, we are not only remembering Jesus and his suffering, death and resurrection, but we are actually, taking him in to ourselves in a spiritual way. We are being filled with his grace and love.

On this night Jesus sits a table with his friends. He thinks to himself, how is it that they are going to not only deal with what is about to happen, but how is it that they are going to be able to live this work out in the world? How can I tell them how very much I love them, and how much I know they can and must carry this on? Jesus chose one of those familiar acts of love and fellowship, one of those places in our lives that we can all connect with. Jesus tells us that he will not be with us always, but that in fact he is always with us.

Over the years I have known many very faithful people. People that I have loved and respected, people's whose faith have been a beacon to me in the midst of life's challenges. The people that are flashing through my head are people that would do most anything for anyone and are incredibly generous. Each year at the service of the washing of the feet I have watched many of these same people unable to come forward. The taking off of one's shoes and socks, letting someone else touch and see your feet. I have been told repeatedly that this is just to intimate an act. Much to scary.

Jesus rises from the table and takes off this fancy robes and tied a towel around his waist.  He then told his friends and disciples that he was going to wash their feet.  This was a role that even slaves were spared of in that time.  A person washed their own feet when they entered a home.  Jesus entered into another place that each person could identify with.  Jesus entered into another one of those common places that remind us of our humanity, of our vulnerability, and our call to serve the other.  Jesus also already knew that Judas was to betray him and he knew that Simon Peter would deny him three times.  We are all important elements to the greater story. 

For me the service of Maundy Thursday and the washing of the feet is the most intimate liturgy of the year.  We are called to strip down to the core of who we are.  We are called to simplify the message of the Gospel, the message of Jesus, and that of all of scripture.  We are called to a new commandment. 

Jesus looks to his friends and disciples from bended knee.  He is bare chested and covered only with a towel.  He is vulnerable and open.  I imagine him looking at them with loving eyes, with longing eyes.  I can hear him thanking them for the time they have had together, thanking them for the good times, the laughter, and the struggles.  But it is so important that this be more.  That this be a part of the story that changes them, changes those around them, and continues to change the world.

He looks to them with loving eyes, with strength and grace.  Please, love one another, do it just as I have tried to love you.  If you act with love and generosity, the world will know that you are my disciples, the world will know that God's grace is alive and working through each of you.  They will know this only if you have love for one another. 

What is our lesson today?  With a bounce in my step today, I am so grateful for the message of love and compassion that has been passed on to me.  I am grateful for Jesus example of vulnerability and simplicity.  I am grateful for the lesson of love.

How will you be changed?  How is the love of Jesus contining to change you?  How is Jesus example of love leading you to live in the world?

What does it look like from the foot of the cross?

Prior to the leading the"Stations of the Cross" service last night I sat, candles lit, music on, and looked around.  Hanging above my head was a large cross. It hangs from the beams of our sanctuary.  On the cross is the Crucified Christ.  The traditional name for this would  be a Crucifix.  A thin veil made of purple fabric has been placed over it.  The candles lit, the music on, and I looked up. 

The Stations of the Cross is a service where we are led through a series of readings and prayers.  Each is said in conjunction with an image that depicts the artists image of that aspect of the story.  There is silence, the sanctuary is dimly lit, and the words and image are the focal point.  

In the Episcopal Church we most often see an empty cross.  A central tenant to our faith is that we believe that Christ was crucified for us, that he was sacrificed for our sins.  We believe that through this sacrifice we are forgiven.  In the Nicene Creed that we say each week, we say, "For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate; He suffered death and was buried.  On the third day he rose again in accordance with the Scriptures; he ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father."

It has always been really important to me that the suffering was for a reason.  That does not mean I believe we need to suffer to grow, although I must admit the times I have grown the most there has been suffering involved.  For the me the empty cross means that Christ suffered for me, that I am not called to do that to myself.  A wise spiritual director told me earlier this year that he used something in his prayer life that had changed him.  He suggested I think about it. "Lord, let me not be an insturment of my own oppression."  

What does it look like at the foot of the cross?  

"Metanoia is the turning of all mind and hearts to God in preparation for the celebration of the Paschal mystery in which some will for the first time receive the light of Christ, others will be restored to the communion of the faithful, and all will renew their baptismal consecration of their lives to God, in Christ." 
Thomas Merton

Holy week is a time to remember.  How are we turning our hearts and mind to God?  HOw has that grown or changed?  What is it like to walk the lonely journey with Jesus?  

Sitting at the foot of the cross has meant so many different things to me over the years I don't know how to write about it yet.  What I do know is that it has become more and more important.  Today I am committed to continuing the discipline of walking this path.  Today I feel the craving of wanting language to express what it all means to me.  Today I know that Jesus dropping of the cross, picking it up again, and walking along means more to me than just a fable.  Why?  How would you explain this to the unchurched?   

Gracious God, Thank you for the blessing of more questions than answers.  Thank you for heath and healing.  Thank you for the ability to turn toward you over and over again.  Thank you for always being there.  Amen 

Passion Week

"The mysteries of the liturgical cycle not only bring new out pourings of the salvific waters of grace: they also enlighten our minds with insights into the ways of God, ever ancient and ever new.  They teach us more of Christ, they show us more of the meaning of our life in Him, they make us grow in Him.  Indeed, the liturgy is the great school of Christian living and the transforming force which reshapes our souls and our characters in the likeness of Christ."  

    Thomas Merton,
Seasons of Celebration

Liturgy is one of those things that I knew spoke to me long  before I had any language or concepts as to why.  I came back to church as a grown woman, seeking a larger community of faith and a specifically christian one. 

God has always been a very strong presence in my life.  As children I believe that we experience the divine as normal.  We know that it is a part of the way we make meaning of the world around us.  It is not confined to a specific denomination or set of doctrines, it is a pure source of love and life.  The young ask more questions about "Why".  They are less apt. to say "no", that's not possible, or" no" that is to scary, or "no", that's just not "right".  For many children in the world today they are struggling with abuse, starvation, lack of education and so much more.  Yet, there are so many stories of grace filled moments where these very souls are able to rise from the ashes of this horror and teach us the real stories of strength, courage and grace.  They tell us the real stories of resurrection.

Liturgy provides us with a framework to reflect on the life of Jesus and the how that intersects with our own.  It provides us with a template for  a life of faith. 

Years ago when I was lost and floundering, I looked to many things outside myself to give me solace and peace.  I wanted to feel worthy and have some sense of direction.  Regardless of those around me that loved me, I was unable to come to that place of knowing, unable to take a deep breath, until I stopped and turned to God and asked for help.  I was unable to hear the words of wise and loving people until I was able to open my heart and ears to God.  Holy Week reminds me of that place each year.  

Jesus walked a lonely path.  He walked a journey that without his relationship with God and his faith in that God, would have been so hollow.   This week we are called to walk that lonely journey with Jesus,  But we are also called to remember those times in our lives when we felt lost and alone, when we wernn't sure if this really was the right thing.  We are called to follow Jesus footsteps to the cross and listen.  Listen, what is God wanting so much to tell you?  

It is also important to say that there may be those of you our there that are there at this very minute.  Know that Jesus is carrying this cross for you too.  Know that this journey is done over and over again, so that you too can come to know the power and love of this all knowing God.  Know that you are not alone.  Walk the journey and listen...


For centuries and over many different traditions storytelling has been a way that people enter into their lives and come to know themselves better.  It is often through others that we can best know who we are.  Live the life of Jesus this week.  Listen to the story as though it was your first time.  Listen..  What is God telling you?  


Today I give thanks for that young girl and her childlike faith.  I give thanks for a God that is every present and all loving.  Today I give thanks for the story that continues to change who I am and how I serve.  Today I give thanks for the faith that has sustained me even in my darkest hours and even when I could not feel it.  I give thanks.  Amen

Today

Then Mary said, "Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word." Then the angel departed from her.  Luke 1:38

In the Episcopal Church there are readings for each day, we call it the Daily Office.  Today is the Day we think and reflect on the Annunciation. One of the tools I like to use for daily prayer, especially if I find myself very busy in the morning is to look at the reading from a booklet called "Day by Day."  Forward Movement is an official, non-profit agency of The Episcopal Church. Since 1935 they have published the quarterly devotional Forward Day by Day, as well as pamphlets, booklets, and books to encourage and nourish people in their lives of prayer and faith. Their mission is to reinvigorate the Episcopal Church day by day.  We are lucky enough to have them free for all in the Narthex of our church.  The Daughters of the King provide them for us as a form of prayerful support. 

"Here am I servant of the Lord, do with me according to your word."

This morning I am reading the reflection on this and wondering what it must have been like for Mary.  What must it have been like for a young girl, possibly around the age of 16.  We know that the world was a very different place, women were not held in high regard and one's faith could be a dangerous thing.  We also know that she and Joseph were engaged, but not married, and surely were not supposed to have been intimate.  This whole story is scandalous.  

Yet, today we are reminded of a young woman that is visited by the angel Gabriel, he tells her not be afraid.  Hello, an angel is visiting you, it is written in a way that we are to believe she saw the angel.  In scripture each time an angel appears they ask us to not be afraid.  I don't know about you, but I would be afraid from the very beginning of this experience. 

Fear is one of those things that is very different for all of us.  I do not consider myself a person that is consumed by fear, or even aware of it a lot.  But I do know that when I am looking at doing something new, when I am being called out of my comfort zone, I am afraid.  We are given this feeling as a way to know to be cautious.  As we travel this journey of faith, one of the most important elements of that for me is the growing knowledge of who I am and how I can best serve the world around me.  It is always a big mistake to believe I can do or be something that I"m not.  I also think I have a better sense of that at the age I am today, as opposed to when I was 16.  

God calls each of us in different ways, at different times, and with varied people.  We are each visited by angels in our midst.  I am grateful that for me at this point they come in the form of a warm and loving parishioner, a colleague that knows me well enough to give me something to think about, a friend that reminds me of what's really important or my children, who never let me forget the core of who I am.  

In my minds eye, I see Mary sitting there, hearing the words of Gabriel and taking a deep breath.  You will be with child, the child will be the son of God.  Your life as you know it has changed.  Don't worry, people won't understand, they will think shameful things of you and Joseph, but don't worry.  You will travel many miles, it will be a long and treacherous road.  When you reach your destination there will be no room for you to stay and you will give birth in a barn.  But, please, don't be afraid.  

Mary looks up with confidence and grace.  She looks up with the naivete of 16 years of life and says, ok!  Here I am, I am here to do your will.  Help me be the instrument that you most need me to be. 

Today I am reminded of how important faith is in my life.  What a wonderful and amazing story, and yet, what would I have done?  We are each called to be the people God needs us to be.  God knows who we are and how we live.  As I look back over my life, I can see times and places where I had a strong sense of where and what God was calling me to do , what God's will not mine would be.  There are times, when my response was Thanks, but........  The good news is that I can also look over the past and see many times when I could hear and see God's will for me. I was able with God's help, the support of people and the  life that was forming around me, to live out God's will, not mine.  For me this is a daily prayer, one that I am able to do more effectively on some days than others.  But today I am reminded that when I am able to let go and trust  God, my life will have the meaning and purpose I crave. 

This is the collect for March 25.  Let us remember Mary today, Let us give thanks for her life and sacrifice.  Let us use her faith as an example of who we can be today.  

 Pour your grace into our hearts, O Lord, that we who have known the incarnation of your Son Jesus Christ, announced by an angel to the Virgin Mary, may by his cross and passion be brought to the glory of his resurrection; who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Frustration

Wow, I can't tell you how long I have spent trying to get his technology to do what I wanted it to.  What happens when you think you have finally figured something out and just when you start to feel confident, a new twist?  Well, for me it takes many times to walk away, to take a deep breath and try to let go.  The challenge of course it that then I sit down and begin again.  By that I mean, I want to be able to move on.  I want to be content with not getting my way.  After many years of practice, I least know this is what would be a good approach.  Yet within minutes, I am back at the computer, back on the web, back trying to upload something to somewhere.  It seems so attainable to me in moment, and yet, because it seems to me there must be some small thing that I am missing, I must try one more time.

How do we get in our own way?  Today has been one of those days when there have been many details dealt with.  Today has been a good and productive day.  I have my health, most of  my sanity, and am blessed with many great people in my life.

At this point in my day I am here to let you know that I finally was able to let go of the project I was working on.  It is at this point in my day that I am reminded of an old friend that used to say that anyone could start their day over again.

In starting my day over again, I picked up the book:  Benedict's Way, by Lonni Collins Pratt and Father Daniel Homan, OSB

God often leads me to a book and then somehow in God's wonder I open to the very page I most need to read.  Let me share with you what I opened up to.

" Joy isn't something that simply happens to us.  Joy is a decision we have to make-or not.  You and I are responsible for whether or not we experience joy.  Joy isn't going to happen if we pamper ourselves.  Instead, we need ot consider what is preventing the joy.

There are a lot of thing that can choke joy,  but here are ten to think about:

1. Fear

2. Cynicism

3. Boredom

4.Low self-esteem

5.Taking life too seriously

6.Loss of wonder

7. Greed

8. Guilt

9.Bitterness

10.  Busyness"

 Gracious God thank for you for all the blessings of this day.  Thank you for the love of books, the love of music, and the love of art.  Thank you so much for loving me.  

Gracious God, Be there for all those known to you alone, that need to feel the loving power of your grace in body, mind and spirit.  

Gracious God, thank you that I can feel my frustration slipping out of my body(:  It is really all good.  Amen

Walking the Labyrinth

This past October I attended a conference in Mississippi. One afternoon the rain gave way to some sunshine and I discovered that there was a Labyrinth in the field around our conference center.

"We know all too well that few journeys are linear and predictable. Instead they swerve and turn, twist and double back, until we don't know if we're coming or going. The image of the labyrinth is an ancient symbol for the meandering path of the soul that goes from light into darkness and emerges once again into the light. "
Phil Cousineau

Life is a journey for all of us. Some days we are very present to what is happening in the moment. We are very focused on the here and now. Other days we may feel wistful, full of wonder, or wondering. We all have days that can cause us to wonder "why", for as many reasons as there are people. Yet this is the work, this is the journey. God calls us to walk this journey with one foot in the present and the other from a place of depth and inquiry.

The conference that I went to was centered about 4 questions.

Who am I?
Where am I?
Where am I going?
Who is God calling me to be?

It has been said that we are either moving forward in our lives or slipping backwards. I can honestly say that my life in the last twenty some odd years has felt like that. For the first part of my life I was surrounded by fear and frustration. I was not at all sure who I was and what this life thing was about. Some of that was developmental but some of that was being surrounded by people that did not have the tools or interest in attaching meaning to the larger picture. Fear and the need for security were paramount. Love was central to all of our lives and that was the balm that held us all together. Yet, I am struck by the loneliness of life when I had no concept of my life as a larger story.
Without language or concepts that helped me look at God through a lens of meaning making, I felt alone and lost. I felt alone and lost even as I was surrounded by love and care.

As I write this the irony that I have been called to be a person in the world that teaches, leads and guides others to find their story, to explore the love of God in their lives, makes me smile. It is the very manifestation of what I am talking about. We are all part of a larger story. "Imagine your journey as Labyrinthine." When I can step back and see life in a larger context I can see things differently than I do when life is one dimensional. A Labyrinth is made of many different things. The one that is pictured here was built in a field. Wood chips filled in the space and rocks had been collected and formed the pattern. There was a entrance. The circular nature of the pattern is reflective of our lives. It finds its way to a center. Theology varies in different traditions about the meaning of this, for me I always feel like I am in the open hands of God. Each time I have walked a labyrinth, I find myself sitting down in the middle. Each time I walk this journey I find it hard to turn and walk back. Not because I don't love my life, but because of the peace and solace I find in that center place.

As our day unfolds around us, where is God in it? Where is your life meandering?
Who are you?
Where are you?
Where are you going?
Where is God call you today?

"Holy God, be in my mind that I might let go of all that diminishes the movement of Your Spirit within me.
Discerning God, be in my eyes, that I might see you in the midst of all the busyness that fills my life.

Loving God, be in my heart, that I can be open to those I love, to those with whom I share ministry and to the whole human family.

Gracious God, be in that grace-filled silence that lies deep within me, that I might live in Christ as Christ lives in me. Amen.
Credo