"Find the gap where God lives."

"May you grow sleepy enough

to find the gap where God lives. 

may your soul find it's waking there."

Jan Richardson

It was early on a Friday morning.  A day that is set aside for my writing. It is my intention to get the basic outline of the sermon I plan to preach on Sunday morning.  Early in the week, I look at the readings and begin the process of picking out words or ideas that jump out at me.  One of the many gifts of preaching each week is the need to live in the words and stories of scripture very intentionally.  

Each time a reading comes up in the lectionary, we are in a different place.  Scripture has the mysterious and magical way of speaking to us all these years later.  God in God's infinite wisdom is able to be present to us, when we open our hearts and minds. 

One of the disciplines that I know really allows me to learn and grow with God is that of writing.  I have a love, hate relationship with writing.  Anne Lamott wrote a great book called; Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life.  One of her many thoughts that I could identify with is the following; 

"Try looking at your mind as a wayward puppy that you are trying to paper train.   You don’t drop-kick a puppy into the neighbor’s yard every time it piddles on the floor  You just keep bringing it back to the newspaper. " 

Lent is a time that I try very hard to look at the things in my life that strengthen or deepen my relationship with God.  Writing is one of them.  But like any of the other things we do that challenge us, it requires discipline. Sometimes we don't feel like it.  Sometimes nothing is there.  What then?  Are we not trying hard enough?  No, not usually.  Usually we need to pay attention.  Pay attention to were we are, pay attention to what we need, pay attention to what God may be inviting us to.  

As I was feeling empty or stuck, I picked up the meditation book that I am working with right now.  Jan Richardson's; In the Sanctuary of Women.  In it she shared some thoughts from Thomas Moore, that talked about threshold spaces, those time when we let our mind off the hook, those times when we just let our minds wander and be.  

"Moore is making a case that awareness, wisdom, and soulfulness do not arrive solely through perpetually vigilant consciousness.  There is a different kind of waking that comes in giving ourselves to practices that cultivate a mindfulness of mystery.  I add my own: walking, lectio divina, lingering at the dinner table with friends, creating or encountering artwork, poetry. "

Reading this reflection was so freeing for me.  I have discovered over the last couple of years that I try so hard to find language for something sometimes that by brain hurts.  I want the words!  How do I say this?  Yet, nothing comes.  In these cases it is not about my mind being a wandering puppy, or my own avoidance.  It is time to breath and step away.  It is time to let my mind learn and interpret and speak in other ways.  

"What practices help you be present to the God who delights in meeting us not only in our focused awareness but also in the gaps in our attention, in dreams, in mystery?"  

Jan Richardson

On this morning, after this meditation, I stepped away from words.  The sun was out.  I bundled up.  I got the leash and the snow shoes and the dog and I went and played in the snow.  I played with the camera.  We played.  We wandered.  

On this Monday in the third week of Lent.  I invite you to let you mind wander.  Let God speak to you in the many different ways that your senses allow.  

"Even in the desert,

even in the wilderness,

sabbath comes. 

May you keep it. 

Light the candles, 

say the prayers: 

Welcome Sabbath.

Welcome, rest. 

Enter in 

and be our guest." 

Jan Richardson

God saw that it was Good.

Heaven and Earth

The Message

  God spoke:"Light!" 

And light appeared.

God saw that light was good 

and separated light from dark. 

God named the light Day, 

he named the dark Night. 

It was evening, it was morning-

Day One. 

God spoke: "Sky! In the middle of the waters;

separate water from water!" 

God made sky. 

He separated the water under sky 

from the water above sky. 

And there it was: 

he named sky the Heavens;

It was eventing, it was morning-

Day Two. 

God spoke: "Separate!

Water-beneath-Heaven, gather into one place; 

Land, appear!"

And there it was. 

God named the land Earth. 

He named the pooled water Ocean. 

God saw that it was good. 

God spoke: "Earth, green up! Grow all varieties

of seed-bearing plants,

Every sort of fruit-bearing tree."

And there it was.

Earth produced green seed-bearing plants, 

all varieties, 

And fruit-bearing trees of all sorts. 

God saw that it was good. 

It was evening, it was morning-

Day Three.

God spoke: "Lights! come out!

Shine in Heaven's sky!

Separate Day from Night.

Mark seasons and days and years, 

Lights in Heaven's sky to give light to Earth."

And there it was. 

God made two big lights, the larger 

to take charge of Day, 

The smaller to be in charge of Night;

and he made the stars. 

God placed them in the heavenly sky

to light up Earth

And oversee Day and Night,

to separate light and dark. 

God saw that it was good. 

It was evening, it was morning-

Day Four.

God spoke: "Swarm, Ocean, with fish and all sea life!

Birds, fly through the sky over Earth!"

God created the huge whales,

all the swarm of life in the waters, 

And every kind and species of flying birds.

God saw that it was good. 

God blessed them: "Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Ocean!

Birds, reproduce on Earth!"

It was evening, it was morning-

Day Five.

God spoke: "Earth, generate life! Every sort and kind: 

cattle and reptiles and wild animals-all kinds."

And there it was: 

wild animals of every kind,

Cattle of all kinds, every sort of reptile and bug.

God saw that it was good. 

God spoke: Let us make human beings in our image, make them 

reflecting our nature

So they can be responsible for the fishing the sea,

the birds in the air, the cattle, 

And yes, Earth itself, 

and every animal that moves on the face of the Earth." 

God created human beings;

he created them godike,

Reflecting God's nature.

 He created them male and female,

God blessed them: 

"Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge! 

Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, 

for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth."

The God said, "I've given you

every sort of seed-bearing plant on Earth

And every kind of fruit-bearing tree, 

given then to you for food. 

To all animals and all birds,

everything that moves and breathes, 

I give whatever grows out of the ground for food." 

And there it was. 

God looked over everything he had made;

it was so good, so very good!

It was evening, it was morning-

Day Six. 

Heaven and Earth were finished, 

down to the last detail. 

By the seventh day 

God had finished his work.

On the seventh day 

he rested from all his work.

God blessed the seventh day. 

He made it a Holy Day

Because on that day he rested from his work,

all the creating God had done. 

this is the story of how it all stared, 

of Heaven and Earth when they were created.  

Were Do I Stand?

I Stand at the Door
By Sam Shoemaker (from the Oxford Group)

I stand by the door.
I neither go to far in, nor stay to far out.
The door is the most important door in the world -
It is the door through which men walk when they find God.
There is no use my going way inside and staying there,
When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where the door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind men,
With outstretched, groping hands,
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it.
So I stand by the door.

The most tremendous thing in the world
Is for men to find that door - the door to God.
The most important thing that any man can do
Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands
And put it on the latch - the latch that only clicks
And opens to the man's own touch.

Men die outside the door, as starving beggars die
On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter.
Die for want of what is within their grasp.
They live on the other side of it - live because they have not found it.

Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,
And open it, and walk in, and find Him.
So I stand by the door.

Go in great saints; go all the way in -
Go way down into the cavernous cellars,
And way up into the spacious attics.
It is a vast, roomy house, this house where God is.
Go into the deepest of hidden casements,
Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood.
Some must inhabit those inner rooms
And know the depths and heights of God,
And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.
Sometimes I take a deeper look in.
Sometimes venture in a little farther,
But my place seems closer to the opening.
So I stand by the door.

There is another reason why I stand there.
Some people get part way in and become afraid
Lest God and the zeal of His house devour them;
For God is so very great and asks all of us.
And these people feel a cosmic claustrophobia
And want to get out. 'Let me out!' they cry.
And the people way inside only terrify them more.
Somebody must be by the door to tell them that they are spoiled.
For the old life, they have seen too much:
One taste of God and nothing but God will do any more.
Somebody must be watching for the frightened
Who seek to sneak out just where they came in,
To tell them how much better it is inside.
The people too far in do not see how near these are
To leaving - preoccupied with the wonder of it all.
Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door
But would like to run away. So for them too,
I stand by the door.

I admire the people who go way in.
But I wish they would not forget how it was
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
The people who have not yet even found the door.
Or the people who want to run away again from God.
You can go in too deeply and stay in too long
And forget the people outside the door.
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,
Near enough to God to hear Him and know He is there,
But not so far from men as not to hear them,
And remember they are there too.

Where? Outside the door -
Thousands of them. Millions of them.
But - more important for me -
One of them, two of them, ten of them.
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch.
So I shall stand by the door and wait
For those who seek it.

'I had rather be a door-keeper
So I stand by the door.

We are all connected.

"Our human compassion binds us the one to the other-not in pity or patronizingly,but as human beings who have learnt how to turn our common suffering into the hope for the future."  

Nelson Mandela

We, each of us have dark times.  We have times when those we love are in pain and all we can do is walk beside them.  We have times when we feel powerless and insignificant.  We have times when we are unsure how to put that foot forward.  

With God's grace we also have those times of seeing the light begin to peak through the mist.  With God's grace we have the times when we realize that we see hope.  With God's grace we have those times when we can look back and know that we have come through when were not sure we ever would.  

We are connected to each other through these times.  It is through our experience of hope, faith and courage that we are connected not only to God, but to each other.  

No matter where we are on the journey on this day, we are part of something far greater than we can imagine.   

The shadows are revealed only because of the bright white light of new fallen snow. 

The cross is revealed below the fast moving water, it is reflected on the hard surface of stone.  

"God of the daylight, 

you come also in darkness,

and even in shadows

you make a home. 

Be rest to the weary

and solace to the brokenhearted;

be healing to the sick, 

and to the troubled, be peace.

Be our comfort, our dreaming,

our sleep, our delight;

breathe through these hours,

O Great God of night. " 

Jan Richardson

We are a people of the story.

"Blessed Lord, who caused all holy Scriptures to be written for our learning: Grant us so to hear them, read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest them, that we may embrace and ever hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life, which you have given us in our Savior Jesus Christ; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen."

BCP, Collect for Proper 28

Gracious God, whose words given to us through the story and word, continue to be heard.  We give thanks for the holy Scriptures that were written for our learning.  Gracious God help us to hear them, to read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest them.  Let your word and story continue to give us hope, inspire and ignite our knowledge of you and affirm our belief in the promise of everlasting life.  We pray this all with open hearts and a love beyond limits, which you have given us in you son Jesus Christ; who lives with you, and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen

  During study this past week, I came upon the work of Sister Joan Chittister again.  She has written many books, but her most well known is Monasteries of the Heart.  She has since that publication created a web community that is truly amazing.  If you would like to check it out, follow this link;  https://www.monasteriesoftheheart.org/ .   The mission for this site is to share Benedictine spirituality with contemporary seekers.  

During the last week I have enjoyed thinking and praying about what is presented there as the main elements of living in the monastic tradition.  There are five of them; lectio, prayer, good work, community and study.  I will share more about each in a minute, but as I was reflecting on them the collect that I shared above came into my mind.  One of the many gifts of praying the lectionary year after year is that things really do begin to imprint on our hearts and minds.  Those words rise to greet us when we need them, or when we least expect them.  I love to play with the words of prayers as it helps me to express what they may be saying to me at this time.  Below the collect from the Book of Common Prayer is my own reflection on that collect. 

Joan Chittisters 5 practices provide a terrific structure for us as we strive to "hear, read, mark, learn and inwardly digest" God's message for us today. 

"Lectio; Scripture is often used for lectio, slow meditative reading, but lectio can be done with all God's texts-photos, art, nature, poetry, music, and experiences in your life."  

How would it change our experience of words, music or images if we allowed ourselves to stop, breath, and be with it for a minute?  What would we see?  What would we hear?  What might God be trying to tell us today?  

Is this a tree or a story?  You decide. 

"Prayer: Monastic prayer is steeped in the Psalms, scripture and silence.

 As  St. Benedict urged it should be brief." 

We can so often read familiar prayers and not even hear the words.  I like to take a phrase either familiar or new, and just walk with it.  One of my favorites as I walk in nature is, "Be still and know that I am God,"  Psalm 46:10.  Remember that prayer is not just our talking, but also listening.  

"Good Work; Work that blesses creation-is integral in Monastic life.  Monasteries of the heart asks it's member to focus it's good works in three areas; celebrate beauty, honor the word, and practice nonviolence.  "

So much of spiritual practice or discipline is to remind us that we are part of something greater.  That we are threads in a much bigger tapestry.  What work can we do today that blesses the creation?  What threads are we weaving today? 

"Community: Community is of the essence of Benedictine life.  In Monasteries of the Heart what is important is that we each be an extension of the gospel, of each other and of Benedictine spirituality." 

Each day that goes by, I am more and more convinced that we are created to live and move in community.  Those called to the monastic life live in community.  We are created to learn and grow with each other.  Somedays we are called to be God with skin on for someone in our midst.  Somedays we look up and someone else is that for us.  How can we live out the the good news in our lives today?  

"Study; Instruction on monastic spirituality and way of life is essential if members of Monasteries of the Heart are to carry forward and keep alive the ancient Benedictine tradition. "

One of the wonderful things about the episcopal tradition for me is that we are called to read and learn.  We are called to explore the many ways that God is made manifest in the world.  We are encouraged to learn and grow with those that have come before us, and those that walk among us now.  We are invited to write and reflect on the many ways our faith matters to us, how it allows us to make sense of the world.  We are a people of the story.  It is only when we study, explore and are curious that we come to know the living, moving, breathing God.  The story must be passed on, the story continues to be written.  

On this beautiful March morning, let us slow down and know that God is in our midst.  A closing blessing from Jan Richardson. 

"Among the pages of the psalms, 

may you know the presence 

of those who pray with you. 

So may you loiter,

so may you linger

in the places and practices 

where he Work makes a home. " 

Fun, Magic and Beauty

Blessing

"Know that the God who calls you

will stir up courage within you, 

will accompany you in your waking, 

will sustain you in your seeing." 

Jan Richardson

These pictures were taken at the Ice Castles in Lincoln, NH.  It is a wonderful, fun creation.  Somehow the people that have made this playground have found ways to create a space for fun, magic and beauty.  Where do we find these places in our lives.  

http://icecastles.com/lincoln/