Stuff of our daily lives,

Blessing

May the God of small things 

delight you this day. 

Jan Richardson

Where do we find the fullness or the blessing in this day?  How can we listen and know what we really need, or even want?  How can we calm the noise that surrounds us, telling us what we must want?  It is a discipline.  It must become a habit, like so many other things that help us care for our bodies, minds and spirits.  

"Unless we empty ourselves of such preconceived cultural or intellectual images and expectations, we not only cannot understand the Other, we cannot even listen. " 

M. Scott Peck 

Sometimes I think life is like the Mole Game at an arcade.  Do you know the game I mean?  This is a game that as you approach it, you see a large hammer object.  It is cushioned and not made for damage of any kind, but does allow a person to bang or hit the machine.  The surface of the game is a series of holes.  When the game begins, figures that are designed to look like moles, pop up through the holes.  Each time one pops up, your task is to punch it down so it retreats into the hole.  As the game progresses the speed with which they pop up increases.  I bet you can tell where I"m going.  

As a teacher and leader in a faith community, I am often saying, take care of your body, mind and spirit.  We all say it in different ways, and with different approaches, but the theme remains the same.  Take care of the instrument God has given you.  But for the record, let me say that I really believe we are called to teach the very thing we most need to hear.  This is so hard some days.  

The Mole Game is often my example of how I feel when some aspect of life feels out of control.  Whether it's my need of "stuff', or maybe my complete lack of desire to exercise.  Maybe it' is my love for food that in the end of the day is not life giving.  We all look to things outside ourselves to  comfort or inspire us.   Whatever our reason, the result is always the same, it fails us in some way.  We may enjoy or should so many things in our world.  Blessings surround us.  But when we look to them to fill us up in some way, or to fix something in our soul that is longing to be filled we will always find ourselves feeling frustrated and lost.  

In a meditation this morning written by Jan Richarson, I was reminded that it is in the small things that I find joy.  It is in the small things that I find God.  Prehaps the smile of a friend, the warm dog snuggled in the curve of my leg, the card I find on my desk as I enter my office.  

"In the very stuff of our daily lives-food, shelter, work, community-God makes a home, looking for ways to offer us what we most need.  "  

Jan Richardson

So on this day, as I still feel a bit like I am fighting the Mole Game, I am stopping and reminding myself that all is well with the world.  All is well in my life.  I have everything I need.  I am wanting to stop and ask God for help with quieting my mind.  Gracious God, help me to put down the pillow hammer, help me to give thanks for all my Blessings this day.  

Plenitude

At lunch today

it was the purple 

of the olive pits 

against my cobalt plate

that stunned me. 

At tea, 

the gold of peach 

bloodstained by it's stone. 

I do not know 

where the greater part 

of the miracle lies: 

that I should pause

to notice this, 

or that I, 

a woman of 

such great hungers, 

should be so well satisfied

by such small things.  

Jan Richardson

"The trees of the wood sing for joy"

I am just back from a walk in the woods with Riley, my dog.  The leaves are beginning to fall off the trees and the crunch under our feet screams of ending.  This coming week Psalm 96 is one of the lectionary readings.  I seldom write about the psalms, but this one has really touched me.  Some of that is because of some reflections written by Stephanie Mar Smith in a Feasting of the Word preaching resource.

"The fields exult and the trees of the forest shout for joy." 

Stephanie writes: "Witness may be viewed as not only a pointing beyond ourselves but as being and becoming ourselves."  How are we witnessing to the the beauty and joy that God has showed us in our lives?  How are we a symbol of the power and wonder of our loving God? 

One of the many ways we are able to be that witness is to show up.  Yes, the simple act of being present in our lives and the lives of others is sacred ground.  We are changed by breathing in and breathing out.  We are changed by witnessing the breath of others.  We are changed.  

While on retreat this summer I was given a book, Psalms For praying, In invitation to Wholeness,  by Nan C. Merrill.  I offer up the following from this book.  

Psalm 96

O sing to the Cosmos a new song;

sing to the Beloved, all the earth!

Sing to the Creator, and bless the Name

above all names; 

sing praises to the Glorious One

from day to day. 

Declare the splendor of the Radiant One

to all nations, 

the marvelous works of Love

to all peoples!

For great is the Beloved, and greatly 

to be praised; 

reverence Love above all else.

For where your thoughts are, 

reveals that which you treasure;

seek only the true Treasure. 

Truth and integrity live with Love;

strength and beauty dwell 

with the Beloved. 

Yield to Love, O families of the earth, 

yield to Love glory and strength!

Yield to Love and learn of justice;

make of yourselves an offering

and be guided by Love!

Bow down in adoration and holiness; 

for worthy is the Beloved to be

 praised in all the earth!

The Creator of the Cosmos reigns! 

Yes, the world has been created, 

gift to all generations; 

let truth and justice give birth 

to peace and harmony!

Let the heavens be glad, and let 

the earth rejoice;

let the seas roar, and all 

that fills them; 

let the fields exult, and 

everything in them! 

Then shall the trees of the wood 

sing for joy

before the coming of the Beloved, 

who reigns in glory!

For  through Love will come truth 

and justice, 

offering all the people gifts

of new life.  

We each have this day. We have the blessing of new life.  It really is through Love that truth and justice are made manifest.  When we come to know each other, really know each other, we are more forgiving, of ourselves and those around us.  On this day, your work is to show up, pay attention, and be the person God thinks you are.  Good Luck!!!

Musings on God, community and change.

Blessing

"That the holy

will haunt you. 

That the terrain of your days

will give way to  God.

Each moment. Each step. 

Each circling and turning. 

Every breath an opening

tearing the veil. " 

Jan Richardson

Listening to God, praying for guidance to be the instrument needed in the world is always a fascinating adventure.  Of course some days, it can feel like no one is listening, or perhaps you are on the wrong channel, tuned in at a bad time, or maybe just this whole praying - God thing is a waste of time.  Could it be that in those very times we are unable to be in the present, when we are searching, that we are unable to see what is right in front of us?   What could we receive if we were really open?

Recently, I wrote to my congregation referring to our church and the property as the base camp.  It seemed odd at first, perhaps oversimplified or childish, but the metaphor works.  When people say they are going to church, there is most often a physical destination inferred.  Yet, as Jesus travels preaching and teaching, I am struck over and over again, at the lack of structure.  Jesus over and over again went to where the people were.  As leaders in the church it is also important to be reminded that Jesus over and over again went off by himself to pray.  Of course, I am always slightly amused by the reality that he is always followed.  But Jesus goes off by himself to pray, most often to a mountain or a garden.  Hummm

What could a base camp mean?  A place we leave from.  A place we are restored in body, mind and spirit.  A place we gather to learn and grow.  A place we hold and hear each other, a place we laugh and play together.  A place we know is always there, and yet we always know we leave only to return.  Hunnnn

Recently I looked up the definition of community.  The following is what I found:

~a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common.

~synonyms: group, body, set, circle, clique, faction, gang, bunch

~a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.

~a group of interdependent organisms of different species growing or living together in a specified habitat.

As leaders in the Episcopal Church, both lay and ordained, many of us spend a tremendous amount of time finding ways to keep the base camp up and running.  Ways to keep the lights on and the heat available.  This has been done for years.  My grandfather had a fishing cottage on a lake in Maine.  He loved it.  He would go with his son and his friends and it would be their get away.  The women went sometimes, but over all it was their fishing getaway.  One of my favorite pictures of him was taken the weekend he died.  He is in the back of a canoe, decked in his fishing gear, with a tremendous smile on his face. 

We keep the base camp going, we spend time dreaming and wondering about what it could be, who we could share it with,  we tell stories of times past.  One of the hard things about time passing is that things change.  The cost of keeping up these places is beyond our ancestors wildest imaginings.  My grandfather would be shocked and that is to put it mildly at the cost of things.  Of course he would also not believe that we store letters in things called clouds, but don't get me started.  

The feeling of fellowship, mission and call that was present in those early days when our ancestors built these buildings and created these communities is still present and alive.  The need for fellowship, mission and vocational ministry is one of the worlds deepest needs.   The community that we call The Episcopal Church is, like most mainline protestant traditions, trying to address the desperate need to redefine how that community can most effectively live out God's mission.  

The Episcopal Church has the Five Marks of Mission.  The Five marks of Mission, developed by the Anglican Consultative council and adopted by the General Convention in 2009 are ways that we can reflect and focus on who we are and what we are doing.  They are ways that we can be reminded what God continues to call us to do.  They are: 

~To Proclaim the Good News of the Kingdom

~To teach, baptize and nurture new believers

~To respond to human need by loving service

~To seek to transform unjust structures of society, to challenge violence of every kind and to pursue    peace and reconciliation.

~To strive to safeguard the integrity of creation and sustain and renew the life of the earth.  

How are we reflecting this call in our lives and in our communities?  I know that for myself, it is hard sometimes to remember that these really are what we are called to do.  Not because any of us don't think they are important.  But because it has become so hard to keep the home fires burning.  For many our communities have changed.  Small towns and communities in many places struggle with generational poverty, unemployment and addiction.  We have communities that have a proud and long history and that are struggling with all they have to be faithful to the past while knowing that the present is killing them.  There is a feeling of responsibility that cause many to feel like if we change the way we do things we are letting our ancestors down.  We could feel like we are letting ourselves down.  Will God be there in our midst? 

I hope to spend some time writing and reflecting on the these very questions.  Many of us have questions, and many wonder what the questions are.  I know that God is present in our midst.  Some feel like we are in a time of crisis.  One of the hardest things about crisis or chaos is that we do not  know what the outcome will be.  We cannot control where we are being led.  These are the very times that the Holy Spirit is most present.  

M. Scott Peck, MD, writes in the book, The Different Drum, Community Making and Peace: "there are only two ways out of chaos, One is into organization, but organization is never community, the only other way in into and through emptiness."   We are a church of structure.  We love our liturgy, our buildings and the role of clergy.  We love the structure.  But are we being called to look at this whole thing from a different perspective?  Has the wonderful and important parts of our structure stopped serving us?  Are we now being called to open wide the confines of the institution, and empty ourselves of our own barriers to the Holy Spirit?  

I'm sure change in easier for me than for many because my life has called me to emptiness many times.  The letting go of jobs, family, homes, and expectations of what life was going to look like has been painful and life affirming.  With each loss, came space for God's grace to move in my life in ways I could never have imagined.  Each change of community or life situation called me to dig deep in the faith department.  Each change required sacrifice on my part and others.  "Community making requires time as well as effort and sacrifice."  Peck reminds us that like any relationship that we care about, our communities require time and attention.  They require effort and sacrifice.  

So as we continue to look at how to best keep our base camps places of nourishment, renewal, and warmth, let us look at who we are being called to be.  How are we able to nourish each other and the world?   How is God able to use us today, in this time and place.  The memory of my grandfather is one of contentment and peace.  He was in a canoe, he was not in the camp.  

Genesis - Images

Images

 Blessed are you, O God,

who created the world with a word

and who fashioned your people 

from dust and from delight. 

In our waking, may we know you breathing in us, 

breathing through us, 

creating us anew

with your longing and love. 

Jan Richardson

Words help us to attach meaning to things.  They help us communicate with others.  Words can draw pictures, can tell stories, and describe our feelings.  But even with the most beautiful and accurate language, words can fall short.  Even for those of us that love words, there comes a time when it feels like a necessity to step back from them.  There are times when there is nothing new to say, nothing left to express.  There are times when we should all take time to step back and watch, listen and be.  

Last week I spent 6 days in a guided silent retreat.  I spent Monday finishing up my tasks here and wound my way across the state of Massachusetts, to Westfield Mass.  The Genesis Spiritual Life and Conference Center was my destination.  

Over the last 20 years I have done silent retreats many times.  They have varied in length and location.  One of the things I have found fun over the years are peoples reaction when they  find out I am going to be silent for any amount of time. They either say, 'I couldn't or wouldn't want to do that', or they get a real kick out of thinking that, I, of all people would like silence.  The truth is, I love it.  The truth is I have found it to be restorative, restful,  and enlightening.  

Why? We all use language to communicate, but some of us are communicators for a living.  Those of us that teach, write, lead in any way, come to know that words and communication is one way that God uses us most effectively.  We also know that we can become empty or drained in ways that we must come to know and understand.  

As I walked up the ramp toward the registration desk, something inside me started to calm.  I looked around and saw many women that had been here many times.  Many were sisters of different orders from around the Catholic Diocese of Mass.   I knew no one.  I did not feel alone.  I was not in charge, I needed to listen and learn.  I did not need to use words in any unnecessary way. 

 "Here is your key to room 16, do you know where that is?" 

"No", weary smile. 

"Up those stairs, and to the right." 

"Thanks so much." 

As I unlocked my door, which was the last time it was locked during my stay, I saw a simple, yet inviting room.  Two twin beds, covered in quilts.  A desk, a couple of lamps and a recliner chair, that became a good friend. The walls were cinder block, painted light green.  Two windows, one with an air conditioner, Yeah!  A simple sink, drawers, and a closet to hang my things.  This would be my home for the next week.  

Words.  I was tired of them.  I was tired of trying to find the right ones, tired of reading them, tired of speaking them.  I was tired.  

That evening we met in prayer, broke bread together and went into silence.  For the next 6 days we wandered around this beautiful property, not talking.  Early in the week, we seldom made eye contact.  It was a time of peace, quiet, watching, being.  God can speak to us, when we are quiet.  God can come to us in those unexpected places when we are quiet.  

"Be still and know that I am God."

Early on in the week it became clear to me that I was not going to even write much.  I was going to use images.  I was going to use my camera.  I was going to look around my world and see, really see it.   

"It cultivates what I call sacred seeing or seeing with the "eyes of the heart" (Ephesians 1: 18). This kind of seeing is our ability to receive the world around us at a deeper level than surface realities." 

 This a quote from a book called; "Eyes of the Heart, Photography as a Christian Contemplative Practice," by Christine Valters Painter.  Thank you Julia Stackpole for referring me to it.  

I spent time looking at the world around me.  Noticing images.  Here are a few:  

   

Words are powerful and wonderful.  Words can explain things, tell stories, and attach meaning to ways of being and feeling we would have no other way to express.  By allowing myself to step back and not use words, and focus on images, I was able to see in a new way.  

As the week unfolded it was amazing how I could just feel the calm come back into my body.  The gift of presence was palpable.  The community that was formed around me was interesting and blessed.  

As I packed my bags and began the journey of return, I was leery.  Not of those I return to.  Not of my work or my life.  I was leery of  being called back into the busy world we live in.  How could I bring that sacred indwelling of the spirit with me?  More importantly, how could I continue to be present to the ever present indwelling that is God?  

As with all of our other life lessons, it is a process.  It is only with God's help.  It is with enormous gratitude that I know to be silent, to step back, to listen.  

The fourth of July is tomorrow and the people are here.  The busy

 world surrounds us.  It's great to be back.  I am so blessed to be able to share with you, using the blessed word, some of my experience.  

May God Bless you and may you know that sacred indwelling that is God.  

Respect the dignity of every human being.

This been an interesting week to live in Wolfeboro, Nh.  As the summer residents wander back into town and the traffic picks up, the town is finding a common voice.  I do not mean by that that we all agree.  That we all should or would ever vote the same.  I do not mean that we, in any community see or experience things the same way.  

As many of you know I am not a person that steps into political matters.  I pray about the world around us.  I care deeply about those I love and serve.  I am passionate about the message of God's love and mission to "always have mercy."  

As a leader in the Episcopal Church my ministry has always been to raise up the issues in our midst.  To encourage all of us to educate ourselves about the issues at hand.  We are called to pray and then be active in the world in the way we believe that God is calling us to.  I don't presume to know the answer to our big questions.  I have opinions, just like you do.  But my interpretation of what God may be calling me to do, must not get in the way of your faith or your beliefs.  

With all that said, this week I have really gotten a chance to reflect on what would I do?  Not what would Jesus do?  But what would I do?  

To make a long story short, a woman in Wolfeboro heard the the Police Commissioner, Robert Copeland call the President of the United States a racial slur with some pretty dramatic expletives to go along with it.  She asked him about it and it escalated the situation.  She has gone through all the proper channels and given him ample opportunity to apologize.  His behavior has only gotten worse.  

What would I do?  If I heard this man say something? First I didn't know until this week he was an elected official.  Yes, this will be some kind of confession.  I am quite sure I voted for him. I cast my vote without asking any questions and without looking into it at all.  He has run unopposed.  If I was sitting in that restaurant, I would not have known he was someone I voted for.  He is charged with looking over the police department that seems to serve us very well.  If I had heard these comments I would have thought it was sad and that we all have different options of things.  I would have thought, not liking or agreeing with a president is absolutely ok, but using that language says something very different.  Using the N word is not a disagreement of policy.  It is not a belief that a person should not hold an office.  The N word is a reflection of the person that uses it.   

I know that I would not have said anything.  I would not have called anyone.  I would have thought some of my own negative thoughts about that person.  I would have made some of my own judgments, based on his behavior.  But I know that I would not have said anything.  

For years I have said that caustic liberals can cause as much damage and hurt as caustic conservatives. We cannot choose to love and care for only those that agree or thing like we do.   This is not a political issue.  It would be nice sometimes to live in a black and white world, no pun intended.  It would be nice sometimes to live in a world where things were clear cut and obvious.  But we live in a world where we are called to live with our neighbors.  We are called to live in community and find ways to be in relationship with the other.  We are all created in God’s image.  By that I mean a vast expanse of being that is beyond our imagining.  

As Episcopalians we have the Baptismal Covenant as the foundational theology we live from.  Each time we witness a baptism we are invited to respond and be reminded of what our faith means.  Each time we witness a baptism we are reminded that it is only with God’s help that we can be the instruments in the world God needs us to be.  The final question in the covenant is: “Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being?”  Our answer is: “I will, with God’s help.”  

God does not ask us to treat only those we like or agree with, with respect.  God does not ask us to make sure that everyone in our midst sees things the way we do.  God asks us to strive for the justice and peace among all people.  God asks us to respect the dignity of every human being.  Then in God’s infinite wisdom, God knows we will be unable to do this alone.  God knows we will need help.  

Last night I stood in a room filled with people.  I stood against the back wall and watched.  The energy in the room was palpable.  For almost two hours one person after another walked to the podium and stated that this behavior was inappropriate.  There were a few that spoke in defense of this person.  That is important to!  If we are asking for respect for all persons, we must mean all persons.  The ages differed.  The political party differed.  Many faith traditions were represented.  People from different lines of work shared if this was their behavior at work, they would have been let go.  Even in Wolfeboro, there were people from different socio economic groups.  At one point a young man stood up and said he thought this behavior was terrible, but that this was a very good night for Wolfboro.  A good night that so many people care enough to be present, care enough to say, this is not who we are.  This is not who we want to be.  

“Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity  of every human being?”  I can’t promise God or myself that I would do something different if I had the chance.  What I can remember is that when we stand together for the dignity of all, we are better.  As I stood in that room last night, my job was not to say something, others felt called to do that.  I stood with the woman who had the courage and the spirit to investigate this person, and discover he was in fact an elected official.  I stood with the woman who had a clear, respectful, and wise voice.  I stood beside the woman who wept as her father talked about her two Haitian children and his families love for them.  I stood with others.  

Some things are not political issues.  Some things are the basis for the way we treat each other and how we live and move in the world.  Years ago, a wonderful mentor of mine told me when I was all upset about something.  Sue, she said, it’s easy to love the lovable one’s.  I have always remembered this.  We all love differently, we all care about life and love differently.  We live out our faith differently and believe God to come in many different forms.  But we can try with God’s help to respect the dignity of every human being.  

Love those in your midst today.  Ask for help when it’s hard.  Remember that as David says, prayer works.  Praying for those we struggle with is a way to let go and bring God into the relationship.  

With God’s help today, we will be there for the other.  

Gateways!

“Our beginnings are in Eden, O God; 

our genesis is in you. 

Open to us the gateways of your presence in life

and the doors that lead us further into you mystery. 

Awaken our memory of the garden of our beginnings 

that we may find ourselves again in you. “  J. Philip Newell

May 11 is always a special day for me.  It is the day of my daughters birth.  Many years this birthday and Mother’s Day share a date.  This year is one of those times.  It is impossible to think of this time of year without reflecting on that time in my life and the blessing she has been and continues to be.  

“Open to us the gateways of your presence in life” 

If we take the time to reflect each of us can think of times in our lives when a ‘gateway’ was opened and God’s presence came flooding through. By God’s grace people come into our lives and change them.  Not only are our lives changed, but we are changed.  

During my pregnancy with my daughter I was fighting with God on a daily basis.  We were in a war of discernment.  That may seem strange to some of you that find prayer and meditation as a peaceful and comforting place.  Let me be clear, most often I experience prayer and my time with God that way.  But, birth can be violent and messy, so can discernment when God and you have very different plans.  

How on earth could I be the mother of two young children and follow God’s call to the priesthood?  Was God not aware of what my life looked like?  Was God not listening?  I had this beautiful 22 month old son, and was about to have a daughter.  My prayer continued to be that I feel content and present in the life I had.  My prayer continued to be that God allow my restlessness to wain, my prayer continued to be that God leave the whole ministry thing alone, my prayers continued.  

“Open to us the gateways of your presence in life.” 

What are the gateways that God has come through in your life?  Motherhood has been and continues to be one of the greatest blessings of my life.  I have two strong, smart, independent, wonderful people I can call my children.  Each of them has brought God to me in so many ways.  Sometimes God has come through that gate in the form of presence.  There were days when they were toddlers, that seemed like life was so busy, like my brain was so full of so many things, that I would miss the moment.  

It is a rainy saturday morning here in New Hampshire, but if I look out the window and imagine I can see my son and daughter running along the path we were on.  I can see the Wiggly Bridge behind us and the “bear tree” ahead of us.  The moment is what I remember.  The gratitude I felt for being present in that moment and realizing how blessed I was.  Remembering that I wanted that moment to stop, as I knew they would soon be grown.  That gate can open today and fill me with God’s grace for that day.  

The war of discernment continued but as is obvious,God, in God’s divine wisdom won.  Even as I write, won, that is not how it feels.  It feels like God continues to call all of us to health and healing.  God calls us to be the people God most wants and needs us to be.  My resistance and fear, were far more about me and what I could see around me than about my trusting in God.  

The birth of my wise and wonderful red head was a birth for me too.  With her healthy birth and her new life ahead of me, I gave God mine, yet again.  That is what we do, we give God our lives over and over.  We open the gate, over and over.  

“Be the change you want to see in the world”  Gandhi

For years my daughter has had stickers, posters, and cards that have this saying from Gandhi.  Both of my children care deeply about people, about the world around them, and how they can be there for the other.  I say this not because any of us have this life thing mastered.  We have been and will continue to live through our share of pain and disappointment.  I say this because as differently as we each live this out, we each know this is a journey, we each know that we are here to love our neighbor as ourselves, we each find ourselves as that gateway through which your presence comes.  We also know, though we may call it different things, that it is through the people in our lives, the gateways, that we see and know your presence in our lives.  

“Open to us the gateways of your presence in life

and the doors that lead us further into you mystery.

Awaken our memory of the garden of our beginnings

that we may find ourselves again in you.” 

May you know on this day the blessing of the gateways in your life.  May you know the many ways you bring God’s presence to others.  May you know and experience God’s grace through others on this day.  

Love in it's purest form.

Photo by Mary Weston DeNucci

During the season of Lent this year I am leading a group that is reading; Wondrous Encounters, Scripture for Lent, by Richard Rohr.  He is a Franciscan priest and the founding director of the Center for Action and Contemplation in Albuquerque, New Mexico.  

The following are some excerpts from today's reading and my reflections to them.  Help us to all not allow our hearts to be hardened.  Help us all to remember that God is love in it's purest form.  

Wednesday of the Fifth Week of Lent

“You can’t win.” When someone’s heart is hardened already, you could be Jesus himself, and they will seriously see you as wrong, inferior, dangerous, and heretical— which is what is about to happen in Holy Week.

Most Christians would probably be slow to admit that by these criteria almost all of us would have opposed Jesus. “This is not our tradition, he is not from our group, and he has no credentials!”

Starter Prayer “God of perfect freedom, open spaces inside of our minds, our hearts, and our memories, so we can just begin to be free. Do not let me be hardened against anyone of your creatures, so that I cannot hear and respect their truth.”

Rohr, Richard (2010-12-27). Wondrous Encounters: Scripture for Lent (p. 111). St. Anthony Messenger Press. Kindle Edition. 

"When someone’s heart is hardened”.  This is a very descriptive statement.  A heart being hard, blocked, still.  I always thought it fascinating that the heart is one of the most important organs in the body, science can tell us all about how it works and why.  And yet, we talk about having a broken heart, we talk about our heart aching.  Anyone who has felt that broken heart, that feeling of disappointment or betrayal will tell you, it may not be a scientific thing, but it is very real.  

Most of us at one time or another have thought , I will never let myself care like that again.  I will never put myself in that position again.  And yet, what happens if we don’t?  We become shut down, blocked off, hardened.  We become angry, bitter and resentful.  We become over come with fear and insecurity.  We  become constantly on guard so that we will not feel heart break again.  

Life with God is one that calls us to fall in love over and over again.  We are called to love those around us, those in our inner circle, those we know only from a distance.  We are called to have an open and loving heart.  

When our hearts are hardened and closed, we not only keep love from hurting us, we also are unable to feel any love in return.  We are unable to truly be in right relationship with God, because God is love in it’s purest form.  

Gracious God of perfect freedom.  Help me to have the courage today to have a open heart.  That when my heart aches, help me to know that you are in our midst.  Help me to know that when my heart aches it is because I am longing for you in some form.  Help me not turn bitter and angry.  Help me to see the joy and the light in the new day.  Help me to remember the many blessings in my life.  Help me to know my heart is in your hands.  Amen

Spring is Sap time.

This is a picture of my uncle working in the sap house that he has spent years tending.  

As a child, spring meant mud and time at the sap house.  I remember my mothers homemade donuts dipped in warm, fresh maple syrup.  I also remember the big rubber boots that we called, mud boots, that were traditional wear for that time of year.  

We would head across the road from my grandmothers house.  The road was moist and very muddy.  Sometimes, we would take a step and our feet would go far into the mud . When we went to take the next step only our stocking covered foot came to the surface.  As kids, we thought this was the most fun.  

Spring is a time that is fresh with new beginnings.  The buds really will start to come out on the tress, and crocus will  eventually feel sure enough of the weather to poke through the soil.  

Lent begins when the days are still short and the snow covers the ground.  Most years, the hope is that by Easter we can see green.  The days are longer and the air will change.  

This has been a long winter, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.  The days are longer and there is more light.  We have two weeks of lent and Holy Week ahead of us.  Jesus journey to the cross is approaching.  How are we going to prepare?  What are we preparing for? 

In the picture above, my uncle is carrying wood for the stove.  No new fangled gadgets there.  Preparation.  

Wood provides the heat necessary for the sap to boil.  Someone must gather the wood, someone must feed the fire.  Someone must prepare the cook top.  Preparation.  

Buckets hang from trees.  Each one has a spicket that is hammered into the tree and a clear substance flows out, when the weather corporates.  It must be cold at night and warm during the day.  The buckets need to be hung.  Preparation.  

Holy Week and Easter are times in our tradition when we are invited into the life of Jesus.  We are invited into the story that is foundational to how we make meaning of our lives.   Jesus has spent time and attention trying to prepare the disciples, trying to prepare us for the truth of this story.  

When the preparation is done, the work begins.  On a regular basis, someone must go around and gather all the sap from the buckets.  Someone must hope and pray that all has gone well and there will be something to gather.  Each bucket is dumped into a large container.  

When one small person stands alone, sometimes life can feel overwhelming, but when we gather together, when we come together, we remember we are far more together than we are alone.  

Daily gathering of the sap, driving from tree to tree, somedays getting more than others is the patient discipline required to make maple syrup.  Patient, daily discipline of showing up to each tree, each day, for whatever it has to offer that day.  

Lent is a time of reflection and prayer.  A time to push back some of the cob webs and dirt that may have gotten in our way.  A time when we can reflect on the light that is God's grace within us.  It is a time to remember the gift that Jesus gave us.  It is a time to remember Jesus life, death and resurrection.  

The smell inside the sap house is sweet and special.  The air outside is still chilly and when you enter, the heat and smell of the wood stove, welcomes you in.  

Outside the building there is a big container that holds the sap that is collected.  The operation is set up so that it comes in and runs into the boiler.  I do not remember the way it all worked, I just remember seeing the sap go from clear to that beautiful golden brown.  I remember the smell, and the donuts.  

A life of faith calls us to prepare room for God to be present in our lives.  We pay particular attention to that during Advent.  Lent is the time when we open up the doors to the space and wonder where we've been.  Lent is the time we remember how important the cross, those hard and painful times are.  Lent is the time we remember that God is always with us.  How can we prepare yet again to do the work God is calling us to do?  

Spring is coming.  The buckets are up and some people are boiling.  You will be hearing about Holy Week and opportunities to worship. Preparation continues in whatever lenten practices you have taken on.  Remember that preparation, time and attention are all ingredients for a rich life of faith.

Remember just as the trees need to be visited every day, and the bucket emptied of whatever it has to offer that day, so must we spend time with God each day.  God welcomes whatever we can offer that day, with praise and thanksgiving.  

Pilgrimage

 " A pilgrimage is a journey undertaken in the light of a story.  A great event has happened; the pilgrim hears the reports and goes in search of the evidence, aspiring to be an eyewitness.  The pilgrim seeks not only to confirm the experience of others first hand but to be changed by the experience." 

Paul Elie, 

The Life you Save May Be Your Own.  

Years ago I received a gift certificate for Barnes and Noble Bookstores.  One of my favorite things in the world are books.  Books that tells stories, either real or imagined.  Books that take me to someplace I have yet to visit.  Books that help me attach language to my experience in life.  Books of any kind.  

The most wonderful thing about this gift was that I was able to walk into this favorite store and pick out the book of my choice and take it home.  As I write this, it sounds like a very young child is speaking.  But, I was not a young child.  I was a grown woman, yet this really was how it felt.  

This was a time in my life when my children were young, my life was in the midst of much change and money was sparse.  The freedom to choose a special book felt very luxurious.  What would I choose?  

"A pilgrimage is a journey undertaken in the light of a story." 

As I wandered into this familiar store, I can see in my minds eye the setting.  My daughter who also loves books and did from a very young age, was with me.  We had a long standing pattern.  She would go off to the children's section, I would wander to the religion or spirituality section.  Each looking forward to the time to explore the books, the worlds that awaited us.  I had promised her that we would both be able to take a book home.  What would we choose? 

Lent is a time when we are asked to be self reflective.  We are asked to look at our story and honestly share with God what we know. We are also invited to ask God for help in those places that feel hard.  

"A great event has happened; the pilgrim hears the reports and goes in search of the evidence, aspiring to be an eyewitness. "

This day was a day like so many, the story of my life was unfolding and I had no idea where it was taking me.  My call to ministry had been affirmed by my congregation and my Bishop.  I was in seminary and  had two small children.  This pilgrim knew that God was calling, knew that the longing for God would not let up.  But what on earth was I supposed to do?  I have always looked for answers, confirmation or direction in the written word.  On this day I wander, yet again, into the religion section of this familiar place.  

The title of the book jumped out at me very quickly.  The Life You Save May Be Your Own, by Paul Elie.  I pulled it out of the stacks and as was my practice sat down near by.  As I opened the pages I was transported into the lives of four very different people.  This book weaves the lives of Thomas Merton, Dorothy Day, Walker Percy and Flannery O'Conner together.  Each of these people were faithful pilgrims and became devote catholics.  Each suffered much and found their faith and meaning in God and the written word.  

We are each pilgrims and we are each exploring  our relationship with God from the place of our own specific story.  But the most wonderful thing about God is that each of our individual stories intersect, each of our lives are part of the larger story that is of God.  

Many years have passed since my daughter and I left that store, each with a new treasure.  I read the first quarter of the book and it is adorned with many highlights and words in the margins.  But never finished.  At the beginning of Lent this year, I decided that I wanted to read the book again and finish it this time. 

Listening to books in some form has become something I really love.  I can listen in my car, on walks or anytime.  I decided that I would listen to these stories being told.  What a blessing.  I am already far passed my stopping point the last time.  But, as I write this, I smile and think, I am much further down the path of my own journey than I was when I first picked up the book.  

  

"The pilgrim seeks not only to confirm the experience of others first hand but to be changed by the experience." 

I invite you to think of yourself as a pilgrim.  What has been your story and how have others helped you along the way?  People we know and people we will never meet change our lives.  We are changed when we enter into the practice of paying attention, of listening to the lives around us.  We are changed when we experience our lives as one individual, yet part of a larger story.  

"Pilgrims often make the journey in company, but each must be changed individually; they must see for themselves, each with his or her own eyes.  And as they return to ordinary life the pilgrims must tell others what they saw, recasting the story in their own terms."

As christians our faith is formed in response to the story of Jesus life, death and resurrection.  As this time of year, we are called to remember that story in very real and personal ways.  Jesus came and taught, lived and died so that we could enter into that story and make it our own.  

It is powerful to reflect on all the changes and blessings that have been significant to my faith in the time since I first picked up this book. God continues to tell the story through each of us.  

As we enter the second week of Lent, what is your story?  Is there someone's life that has been a particular inspiration to you?  

Hello pilgrim, we are on this journey together, you are not alone.  But your story, your life, is yours, its special.  

Your invited.

"I invite you, therefore, in the name of the Church, to the 

observance of a holy Lent, by self-examination and repentance; 

by prayer, fasting, and self-denial; and by reading and 

meditating on God's Holy Word."

BCP pg. 265

The snow yesterday was blowing here and there.  It really did not accumulate very much, but just as we thought it might stop, it began again.  A dusting of white fluffy snow covered the way ahead.  People gathered at noon and in the evening to pray, receive the imposition of ashes and the Eucharist.  During this service we were invited into a Holy Lent.  We were invited to a time of self- reflection and action.  

It is often very helpful for me to remember that Jesus repeatedly went off by himself to pray.  In the midst of what seemed like crisis or stress, he turned to prayer.  In times of celebration and blessing, he turned to prayer.  

"Lent is a pilgrimage which Christ personally invites us to make.  The journey is not an adventure for tourists who wish to capture snapshots of spiritual insight, but rather an invitation which comes from Christ and draws us to Christ.  What is unique about this personal invitation is that Christ invites us to make a journey that he himself has already made.  It is the nature of his grace not merely to call us from outside, but actually to draw us from within."    

Steve  Purcell

Let us remember that the forty days of Lent is fashioned after Jesus forty days in the wilderness.  He took himself into the desert for forty days and forty nights to prepare himself emotionally and spiritually for his ministry and for all that his life would hold.  How are we prepared emotionally and spiritually for our ministry?  How are we prepared for our path ahead? 

Our Lenten practice could be approached from 3 different perspectives.  We turn to look at ourselves and our life; at our relationship with God; and at our relationships with others.  If we only focus on one of these areas we fall short of the full experience God is calling us to.  

We are invited into this time, not just to watch and stand at the sidelines, but to  actively participate.  We are not called to take "snapshots" of others, as that is not our story.  We are called to pull away, find those places in our lives that are empty or worn and pray for God's help and guidance.  We may also pull away and find the many blessings that can get lost in day to day life.  Allow time to slow down and be.  

Secondly, we are invited to look at our life with God.  What is our prayer life like?  What are the many things that compete for God's attention in our lives?  Are we able to remember those things that are prayerful?  Writing, reading, walking, yoga, painting or taking photographs, are all forms of prayer.  

Lastly, we are invited to look outward.  If we only engage this time as one of self-reflection it can easily become one of self- absorption.  We are created in God's image, we are created to be the instruments in the world God most needs us to be.  To do that we need to take precious care of who we are, and the instrument God has given us.  We then need to go out in the world and follow Jesus's example.  How are we able to see our neighbor, how do we see those in need?  How are we responding to Jesus's message of love and service?  

The sun is out this day and it is very cold.  The snow has stopped blowing and a new day has begun. Welcome to this new day.  Give thanks and blessings for the invitation.  No need to RSVP, just come as you are.