Psalm 51

Yesterday after ashes were gently rubbed on our foreheads, after the words, "Remember it is from dust you came and from dust you shall return", after a sermon about how loved we are even in the midst of our brokenness, we kneel and pray Psalm 51.

Even as the leader of worship, my skin prickles and my heart hurts as I lead us in saying:

"Wash me through and through from my wickedness" (2)
"Indeed, I have been wicked from my birth," (6)
"I shall teach your ways to the wicked, and sinners shall return to you." (14)

It is a new and different world today than it was when these psalms were written.  Not all of the changes are for the better by any means.  Some would say that the psychology/theology mixture is not for the best.  For me, my faith in God and the healing power of God's grace in my life continues to be in the balance of self knowledge and the principles of a life in faith.  I say this because like many of us, I have spent many years, using multiple tools, to come to know and live into the belief that I am a beloved child of God.

For a multitude of reasons, it is easier for many to believe that they are "wicked".  For many it is far harder to live into the light and love of God's healing grace.  This is compounded by the challenge that we will continue to do and act in ways that we regret.  We are not given the ability to live without error.  Many theologians would say that is because we are called to remember that it is only with God's love and help that we are truly "right".

"Purge me from my sin, and I shall be pure;
wash me, and I shall be clean indeed," (8)

I am equally uncomfortable with this verse.  Ykes!! So I leave the Ash Wednesday service and I am forgiven.  Now I am purged of all sin, never to go there again.  I believe that this life of faith is one of daily connection and love from a God that knows me better than I know myself.  From a God that tells me is Psalm 139, that the darkness is not dark to you, that darkness and light are both alike. When we are loved, we are changed.  When we are loved we grow into that loving person that God longs for us to be.

So it is with that in mind that I offer up reflection on Psalm 51, written by Nan C. Merrill,  in the book, Psalms for Praying

Have mercy on me, O Gracious One, 

according your steadfast love;

according to you abundant kindness

forgive me where my thoughts and 

deeds have hurt others. 

Lead me in the paths of justice,

guide my steps on paths of peace!

Teach me, that I may know my weaknesses,

the shortcomings that bind me,

The unloving ways that separate me, 

that keep me from recognizing 

your life in me;

For, I keep company with fear, and 

dwell in the house of ignorance.

Yet, I was brought forth in love, 

and love is my birthright. 

You have placed your truth in the 

inner being;

therefore, teach me the wisdom 

of the heart.

forgive all that binds me in fear, 

that  I might radiate love;

cleanse me that your light might 

shine in me. 

fill me with gladness; help me to

transform weakness into strength.

Look not on my past mistakes 

but on the aspirations 

of my heart. 

Create in me a clean heart, O Gracious One,

and put a new and right spirit 

within me. 

enfold me in the arms of love, and 

fill me with your Holy Spirit. 

Restore in me the joy of your saving grace,

and encourage me with a new spirit. 

Then I will teach others your ways, 

and prisoners of fear will return to You. 

Deliver me from the addictions of society,

most gracious One, 

O keep me from temptation that 

I may tell of your justice and mercy. 

O Gracious One, open my lips and 

my mouth shall sing forth 

your praise. 

For You do not want sacrifice; 

You delight in our friendship

with You. 

A sacrifice most appropriate is a 

humble spirit;

a repentant and contrite heart, 

O Merciful One, 

is a gift you most desire. 

Let the nations turn from way, 

and encourage one another as 

good neighbors. 

O Most Gracious and Compassionate Friend,

melt our hears of stone,

break through the fears that 

lead us into darkness, and 

Guide our steps into the way of peace.

Let us go forth today, and live into the light and life that is our day.  Let us be the instruments that God most needs us to be today.  Amen