Harnessing our Faith!

"Because you sent your beloved Son to redeem us from sin and death, and to make us heirs in him of everlasting life; that when he shall come again in power and great triumph to judge the world, we may without shame or fear rejoice to behold his appearing."  BCP 378

It is a gray, rather dark day here.  The cold of winter is settling in and yet, there is still not much snow on the ground.  The days are approaching the shortest of the year.  In the church right now we are in Advent.  The time in our liturgical life where we begin the story again.  What does that mean?  Why would we do it over and over again?  

This year particularly, I am again reminded that each year the story is different.  Perhaps a better way to say that is that each year I hear and reflect on the story from a new place.  Hope, expectation and repentance are all words associated with this season.   Each one of these words can mean many different things to each of us.  How do they speak to you?  

Repentance is one of those words that always feels like I"m in trouble.  I need to apologize again for all I have done or not done.  These days it is usually "things left undone."  But that is not what it means.  In it's most literal meaning it is a turning, a changing of direction.  We are called to turn from those things that get in our way, that take us away from God, and turn back, turn back towards God.  How often do we get lost, lost in time, lost in relationships, lost in work?  We are facing an epidemic of addiction today that affects us all.  How can we not just go through the motions in prayer or practice?  How can we really turn towards God, to listen, to tell God what is really on our hearts?  

In the prayer above that is said during Advent just prior to our receiving Eucharist, we hear the words, "without shame or fear".   It is with the knowledge that regardless of what we have to tell God, regardless of what we either need help with or forgiveness for, that God loves us.  We have all had that feeling when it is hard to look someone in the eye.  Perhaps we have lied to them, said something unkind, or even owe them money.  Our head hangs low, our eyes look away, usually in shame or fear.  Imagine a loving hand reaching out and gently lifting your chin.  Imagine a warm, loving, accepting face looking, just at you.  Imagine.  Repent and turn to God.  

Hope is something that can come in so many forms.  This year, I have found myself really needing to dig into what it really means to me.  As children we may hope to be friends with someone.  We may hope to get a certain gift or part in a play.  As a christian, hope for me comes in the truth of the story of our faith.  In the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Ahhh, so easy to say.  Hope for me, is the lived experience of God in my life.  The reality that over time I have come  to know and see God's hand at work in the world.  As we await the birth of love, joy, new life in the birth of Jesus, we are called to wonder what is being birthed in us?  

"Hoping does not mean doing nothing.  It is the opposite of desperate and panicky manipulations, of scurrying and worrying.  And hoping is not dreaming.  It is not spinning an illusion or fantasy to protect us from our boredom or our pain.  It means a confident, alert expectation that God will do what He said He will do.  It is imagination put in the harness of faith.  It is a willingness to let God do it His way and in His time. "  Eugene Peterson

I love the image or phrase; "imagination put in the harness of faith."  There is something about this time in my life, where I know that I need to find ways to harness my faith.  Hope is not a passive thing for me right now.  I grew up in New England, a white girl, from a good family.  We were privileged, although we didn't really know it then.  I was never concerned about health care or being able to make decisions about that care.  Education was very important in my family and I have been blessed with a great education.  I have been able to support my family and myself in ways that I am proud of.  Even during difficult times, I was able to ask for help, do what I needed to, and get back on my feet.  As a gay woman, I have not suffered overt discrimination or abuse.  I have been able to freely marry my wife, without regard of legal repercussions.  These are just a few of the rights that I enjoy each day, without ever having done one thing for them.  I am not a political person in terms of speaking out or advocating for specific things.  I continue to believe that our politics is our own business.  As Episcopalians we are called to learn, study, pray and discern what we are called to do, how we are called to vote or be active members of our community.

I am hopeful.  We are being shaken up.  We are being called to notice, really notice those things that are important to us.  How are our lives impacted by the world around us?  I have taken much for granted.  I have worried that if I spoke up I would offend someone.  I worry..........  But I can no longer be quiet.  This advent I pray to find ways to harness my faith.  This advent I pray for the wisdom of my ancestors.  The world has changed.  There will be a day when people look back at us.  We will be the ancestors.  What will we have left? How are we "striving for justice and peace among all people, and respecting the dignity of every human being?"  As we are reminded in the Baptismal covenant, it is only with God's help.  This advent I pray for the courage to live into the hope and passion that God needs from me.  Let us find our voices, let us reflect, listen and learn.  Let us find our way, and find those places God is calling us to be the light.

*Above Artwork:  Marnie Baehr, Find at Coroflot .