Gateways!

“Our beginnings are in Eden, O God; 

our genesis is in you. 

Open to us the gateways of your presence in life

and the doors that lead us further into you mystery. 

Awaken our memory of the garden of our beginnings 

that we may find ourselves again in you. “  J. Philip Newell

May 11 is always a special day for me.  It is the day of my daughters birth.  Many years this birthday and Mother’s Day share a date.  This year is one of those times.  It is impossible to think of this time of year without reflecting on that time in my life and the blessing she has been and continues to be.  

“Open to us the gateways of your presence in life” 

If we take the time to reflect each of us can think of times in our lives when a ‘gateway’ was opened and God’s presence came flooding through. By God’s grace people come into our lives and change them.  Not only are our lives changed, but we are changed.  

During my pregnancy with my daughter I was fighting with God on a daily basis.  We were in a war of discernment.  That may seem strange to some of you that find prayer and meditation as a peaceful and comforting place.  Let me be clear, most often I experience prayer and my time with God that way.  But, birth can be violent and messy, so can discernment when God and you have very different plans.  

How on earth could I be the mother of two young children and follow God’s call to the priesthood?  Was God not aware of what my life looked like?  Was God not listening?  I had this beautiful 22 month old son, and was about to have a daughter.  My prayer continued to be that I feel content and present in the life I had.  My prayer continued to be that God allow my restlessness to wain, my prayer continued to be that God leave the whole ministry thing alone, my prayers continued.  

“Open to us the gateways of your presence in life.” 

What are the gateways that God has come through in your life?  Motherhood has been and continues to be one of the greatest blessings of my life.  I have two strong, smart, independent, wonderful people I can call my children.  Each of them has brought God to me in so many ways.  Sometimes God has come through that gate in the form of presence.  There were days when they were toddlers, that seemed like life was so busy, like my brain was so full of so many things, that I would miss the moment.  

It is a rainy saturday morning here in New Hampshire, but if I look out the window and imagine I can see my son and daughter running along the path we were on.  I can see the Wiggly Bridge behind us and the “bear tree” ahead of us.  The moment is what I remember.  The gratitude I felt for being present in that moment and realizing how blessed I was.  Remembering that I wanted that moment to stop, as I knew they would soon be grown.  That gate can open today and fill me with God’s grace for that day.  

The war of discernment continued but as is obvious,God, in God’s divine wisdom won.  Even as I write, won, that is not how it feels.  It feels like God continues to call all of us to health and healing.  God calls us to be the people God most wants and needs us to be.  My resistance and fear, were far more about me and what I could see around me than about my trusting in God.  

The birth of my wise and wonderful red head was a birth for me too.  With her healthy birth and her new life ahead of me, I gave God mine, yet again.  That is what we do, we give God our lives over and over.  We open the gate, over and over.  

“Be the change you want to see in the world”  Gandhi

For years my daughter has had stickers, posters, and cards that have this saying from Gandhi.  Both of my children care deeply about people, about the world around them, and how they can be there for the other.  I say this not because any of us have this life thing mastered.  We have been and will continue to live through our share of pain and disappointment.  I say this because as differently as we each live this out, we each know this is a journey, we each know that we are here to love our neighbor as ourselves, we each find ourselves as that gateway through which your presence comes.  We also know, though we may call it different things, that it is through the people in our lives, the gateways, that we see and know your presence in our lives.  

“Open to us the gateways of your presence in life

and the doors that lead us further into you mystery.

Awaken our memory of the garden of our beginnings

that we may find ourselves again in you.” 

May you know on this day the blessing of the gateways in your life.  May you know the many ways you bring God’s presence to others.  May you know and experience God’s grace through others on this day.