What would the prayer be?

Almighty and everlasting God, you hate nothing you have made and

 forgive the sins of all who are penitent: 

Create and make in us new and contrite hearts,

 that we, worthily lamenting our sins 

and acknowledging our wretchedness, 

may obtain of you, the God of all mercy, 

perfect remission and forgiveness; 

through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives 

and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,

 one God, for ever 

and ever. Amen.

BCP Pg. 264

This is the opening prayer from the Ash Wednesday Service.   As I was reading it some particular words jumped out at me.  Penitent, contrite, lament and wretchedness.  There are many things that cause people to want to shy away or outright leave the church.  Words can stand in the way of being open, or for some, hearing the message at all.  These are challenging and for some, mean or punitive words.  But are they really?  

We live in a time where self loathing and self absorption lead many to feelings of emptiness and loss.  Learning and growing must come through lived experience.  With God’s help, we must be able to learn and grow  when we wander off the path, act in a way that does not serve us, or others around us.  

“Show them that your ways give more life than the ways of the world, and that following you is better than chasing after selfish goals.  Help them to take failure, not as a measure of their worth, but as a chance for a new start.”  BCP 829

Judgement and criticism are painful at best.  It is particularly damaging when done through the lens of religion.  We are children of God, created in God’s image.  We are taught to follow Christ and the lessons shared in scripture.  When we make mistakes or bad decisions we are overcome with shame and guilt.   Many are left feeling they will never be able to live up to these expectations.  How could God love us?   What can we do? 

"Almighty and everlasting God, you hate nothing you have  made "

Lent has come and gone in my life many times.  I have never before heard the first words of the opening prayer.  God hates nothing God has made.  Nothing.  So where does that leave us?  Let’s look at the words of this ancient prayer. 

Penitent means a feeling or showing of sorrow or regret for having done something wrong.   If we remind ourselves of that, the prayer might go like this: 

Gracious God, you love all that you created.  In your infinite mercy you forgive us when you see us feeling sad and sorry when we have made mistakes.  

It is appropriate for us to feel sad and regretful when we have made decisions that hurt ourselves, those we love or the world around us.  God created us as human beings, not divine beings.  We are going to look outside ourselves to fill a place inside that only God's love can fill.  

The only way we are able to come to know this, is to be able to admit our wrongs, admit when we have made a mistake and know that  God loves us.  God can only show us that love when we show our feelings of sorrow or regret.  

Contrite is another word that feels very hard. But after I spent some time with it, that began to change.  It is an adjective, a word that describes something.  Contrite means feelings of guilt or remorse.  Being affected by guilt. 

"Create and

make in us new and contrite hearts,"

If we live in a world where we are never able to make mistakes or be wrong, whether for fear of judgment or self loathing, how can we express our grief or sorrow?  But, it is these feeling of guilt and sadness that keep us up at night, or lead us to reach for any number of things that we know aren't good for us.  How could the prayer go? 

Help us know that when we share with you our guilt

 and pain, we will be made new.  

Help us remember you hate nothing you have made.  

"Worthily lamenting our sins."   The tough religious language continues.  But does it?  

Scripture is filled with psalms and prayers of lament.  This is a word that we do not use in our everyday language.  But we say prayers and sing songs of lament all the time.  Lament is a passionate expression of grief or sorrow.  When our hearts are broken and we don't know where to turn we write, pray,sing or  paint.  When our hearts are broken we share with someone that loves us and cares about our loss.  When our hearts are broken we share our pain with God.  How might the prayer look? 

God, you know me and love me.  You know when I get

 lost how very much I miss you.  

God, only you love me to wholeness and light.  

God, I have made many mistakes and wandered away from you.  

God, help me to feel the healing power of your forgiveness.  

Now we get to the really hard part, "acknowledging our wretchedness."  The word wretchedness has always felt like a very shameful word.  For some it can feel like handing over power or putting ones self down unreasonably.  I admit to being very surprised when I looked up the definition of wretchedness.  It is misery, a state of ill-being due to affliction or misfortune.  Really?  

When I am sick with worry or guilt, I really do feel sick.  Physically, I know that something is wrong.  Wretchedness is not a description of who I am, it is a description of how I feel if I am ill of spirit.  If my heart and soul are hurt at a deep level, I feel awful.  What happens when I admit my illness?  What happens when I admit to needing help?  What would the prayer look like?

Gracious God, I need your help.  My feelings of guilt and

 pain have taken over me.  I can't let them go.  

Gracious God, Help me to know your love and forgiveness.  

Help me to heal and grow toward health and wholeness.  

Ash Wednesday is the beginning of Lent.  On that day I hope you find a service where you are able to pray these words and words of your own.  On that day know that the ashes on your forehead mark you as Christ's own, yet again.