Silence and Prayer

  

  "The simplest spiritual discipline is some degree of solitude and silence. But it's the hardest, because none of us want to be with someone we don't love. Besides that, we invariably feel left with ourselves, and all of our loneliness comes the surface.

We won't have the courage to go into that terrifying place without Love to protect us and lead us, without the light and love of God overriding our own self-doubt. Such silence is the most spacious and empowering technique in the world, yet, it's not a technique at all. IT's precisely the refusal of all technique."

Richard Rohr

It should not be a revolutionary idea that we would be reticent to spend time  with someone we do not love, like or at the very least feel safe with.  How easy it would be to say that our aversion to silence or solitude is the busy society we live in or the pace of our lives.  These are both true, but are they our deepest truth?  

What does it feel like to take a walk with ourselves?  Richard Rohr suggests that one of the reasons we struggle finding time to pray or spend time in silence is  because it is there that we meet ourselves.  It is there that we have no distractions.  It is there that we are our  most vulnerable.  

Meditations and sermons tell us that we are loved by God, that we are God's beloved.  This reflection turns that message on it's ear.  What if we are the ones that can't love?  What if we are the one's that can't have compassion towards ourselves?  Can God work through us when we so scared?  

Recently I was blessed to have a conversation with someone who struggles with prayer.  One of the reasons is that they do not feel worthy of God's love or time.  It is so hard to know that we are wonderfully broken and worm human beings.  We have traveled many miles and know all to well where our secrets are hid.  We all have them.  We are human and blessedly imperfect.  

As we talked about prayer and where to start I talked about staying in touch with a loved one.  We must talk to those we are in relationship with, share our thoughts, our concerns, maybe even those things that make us mad.  Those we are closest to cannot know us, unless we let them.  God is like that too.  God does not turn from us, it is us that moves.  We must not be so hard on ourselves that it keeps us from being close to God.  

Many years ago a friend and mentor suggested that I write a letter to God every morning.  Each morning  letting God know what was on my mind and my heart.  I did not need to do it perfectly.  It was only for me, I did not need to show it to anyone.  Over time my relationship and sense of God in my life increased substantially.  Over time I came to know myself in a different way.  There were things that with God's grace have changed and things that continue to grow.  

"We won't have the courage to go into that terrifying place without Love to protect us and lead us, without the light and love of God overriding our own self-doubt ."

When we are in prayer, when we slow down and are quiet, we are not alone.  God is never as hard on us as we are on ourselves.  God is longing to love us into whole and healthy people.  

So today, spend some time with someone that needs your love and compassion.  Spend time with someone that has work to do in the world.  Spend time with someone that God created and dreamed into being. Spend time in quiet with yourself.  If that feels hard, start with a letter.  

Dear God.......