The Surprising Gift.

"By its very nature, contentment-the sense of having
 it all-can't be attained by achieving levels or goals set by others.  It also can't be attained if we don't know what it is for us, if we don't know what truly pleases us.  Such self-knowledge can be difficult to acquire in a world that places all its emphasis on appearances and status."

Having it All cannot happen without being content, and contentment is the essentials:

• Being comfortable in your own skin
• A sense of being your own person
• Truly feeling that being yourself is enough
• Not needing more than what you have
• Freedom from nagging desires 
• Freedom from anxieties

Contentment is not: 

• Satiation
• Happiness
• Personal achievement
• Fulfillment

Contentment, however, makes all of those things possible.  "

From:  "The Minimalist Woman's Guide to Having it All"  by Meg Wolfe

It is a dark, rainy morning.  I sit at a table in the apartment that I recently moved into.  We made the choice to move from the 4 bedroom house that we were renting, to downsize and reevaluate what we needed vs. what we wanted.  I must admit that this is radically new behavior for me.  Much of my life I have behaved as thought I thought that the more, the bigger, the happier.  I know that I am not alone and like many have gone through times when things were very sparse.  

Today I sit here with the awareness that living with much and living with little has brought me to this place.  Brought me to this place of knowing that with God's help neither is the answer.  That for me there is no specific answer, and I would argue that is true for all of us.  What I have come to know is that learning more about who I am, who I love, who loves me, and the work and passions in my life that give me joy need to be the determining factors in how my life looks.  

The last two months of my life have been spent giving cloths away to many different sources, recycling the many, and I mean many, different forms of technology(old computers, TVs, etc.), giving many car loads of perfectly good items to a place that raises money for the local hospital, and many, many, many trips to the local (wonderful) dump.  I will not bore you with the details of all I learned about where to recycle or redistribute your excess things, but I will tell you it can turn into a full time job.  The most amazing thing about doing it this way, as opposed to just moving it all again, is the real awareness of all the "stuff" you have.  How many vases does one couple need?  I'm not talking about family heirlooms, I"m talking about vases, just glass vases that sit on a shelf.  I just don't have fresh cut flowers that often.  

"A wonderful thing happens along the Minimalist path: you realize you've got enough mental and physical space to be yourself, that you are more that the sum total of your possessions, and you actually feel that you are enough in and of yourself.  That's a feeling akin to contentment."  Meg Wolfe

Settling in, clearing space, getting rid of boxes and piles will come with time.  But the gift that I have found under all these piles continues to be the most amazing surprise.  The gift of an increasing lightness, a gift of feeling more present in my skin, and the gift of not feeling trapped by my surroundings and my things.  God shows up in the most amazing and wonderful ways.  Sometimes we need to move things around to find the grace, the gifts that are there, waiting to be revealed.  

Gracious God, Thank you for the life I have today.  Thank you for food, clothing and shelter.  Thank you for the people in my life that I love and love me in return.  Thank you for those in my life that challenge me and enable me to grow.  Thank you for the many blessings in my life today, those I am aware of, and those I miss.  

Gracious God,  Help me remember that you are from which my life and joy comes.  Help me to remember that it is through you and the life that I am present in today,  that I come to know more and more who you need me to be.  

Gracious God, Help me to be the instrument you need me to be today.  Amen.