In the early years of the church Lent was a time when those that were not baptized spent years preparing for this sacrament. Education about the creeds, the catechism, history of the church, and the doctrine of our faith were central to preparation. Personal prayer, reflection and preparation of body, mind and spirit was the foundation.
This is also true today in many ways, but it looks very different. When Jesus was baptized, the sky opened and God proclaimed that Jesus was his son, that he was prouder of him than we can imagine and loved him to the moon and back. Ok, those aren't God's words exactly, but I believe them to be true. God loves us with this same overwhelming power.
"Still, Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis", is a book written by Lauren f. Winner. In it is a very interesting story about the poet Anne Sexton, an award winning poet. We hear about her faith. Most of her life she struggled with depression and other metal health issues.
"Once, when she was in a mental hospital, a Catholic priest came to visit her. 'Well,' she said to him, 'I've lost it all.' The priest sat in her room and read her own poems aloud to her and she said, 'Look, I'm not sure I believe in God, anyway,' and he said, 'Your typewriter is your altar.' Sexton said, 'I can't go to church. I can't pray.' The priest said, 'Your poems are your prayers.' Later she said she'd like him to baptize her, and then she'd like to take Communion. He replied that she'd have to study the faith first, the councils, the creeds. 'I can't do that, Father Dunn....It would ruin....my thinking: I'd want Him to be my God, anyway. I don' want to be taught about Him; I want to make Him up." When he left her room, she asked him to pray for her. 'No," he replied, 'You pray for me."
The idea of her typewriter being her altar, her poems being her prayers is one that really resonates with me. We each have places that we are able to be in touch with God, places and ways that we are able to pray. Being in relationship with God in ways that are intimate and sacred is a very personal thing. What is your altar? What do your prayers look like?
The idea of "making God up", is not the way I experience the journey, but I do believe that God is far greater than our human mind can fathom. Each of us have stories and experiences that affirm for us the existence of a power greater than ourselves. As Episcopalians we are called to look through the lens of scripture, tradition and reason to make meaning of our lives with God. This allows us to enter into the life of the sacred in ways that challenge and transform us.
I was very touched by the Priest in this story. I would like to have him visit me as the journey unfolds. What do you hear? Why was he asking for her prayers?
The Catechism tells us the "The sacraments are outward and visible signs of inward and spiritual grace, given by Christ as sure and certain means by which we receive that grace." BCP, 857
We are also told that: "Grace is God's favor towards us, unearned and undeserved; by grace God forgives our sins, enlightens our minds, stirs our hearts, and strengthens our wills." BCP 858
Lent is a time of preparation and prayers. It is a time to remember who God is in our lives, to spend time and wonder what difference all this makes, and to walk the journey with Jesus as he shows us the way.
"O God of unchangeable power and eternal light: Look favorably on your whole Church, that wonderful and sacred mystery; by the effectual working of your providence carry out in tranquillity the plan of salvation; let the whole world see and know that things which were cast down are being raised up, and things which had grown old are being made new, and that all things are being brought to their perfection by him through whom all things were made, your Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
BCP 291
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