Surrender

Surrender is very powerful .

Words are used in so many different ways. Many literally mean different things, have different forms or various tense. As I work on my writing I am reminded how so often the story or content in my head struggles to manifest in the written word. The written word is a place where we are all able to meet.

Words can trigger for me a myriad of thoughts. Today I was talking with a friend online and she was talking about Surrender and Incarnation. Over the years surrender has become a familiar concept for me. One that has become part of my daily life and a consistent part of my daily prayer. Today I am wondering if I have not let my prayers and my concept of surrender be limited. Today I am wondering if I have narrowed the focus of what I have really given to God. I am once again faced with the reality that I am very clear about the parts of my life that God is in charge of. For many years now, with God's help and others I have stayed away from Alcohol and Drugs. The freedom from the daily abuse of body, mind and spirit is a daily reprieve, but one that I am forever grateful for.

God has asked me to take many different forms of action and reaching out to the world around me. Without healthy and loving people in my life, it seems impossible to see and feel the grace of God. I have no question that addiction is beyond my will alone. With God's help the obsession to drink and drug has been lifted. Today I believe that could come back at any time if I do not listen to God's will in my life. I use this as an example of surrender that I "get". It never occurs to me that I am to live a life of recovery by myself, with will power or the idea of working harder.

With God's help I have now been sober twice as long as I drank. I only say that, because there are many days now that I must think I am in charge of my life. I take back my will. Being on the journey of faith and healing is a blessing beyond my wildest imagination. But many days we struggle with the acceptance of God's overwhelming love. Isn't it one thing to surrender at times when the world is overwhelming and feels beyond our capacity to deal? Many times we are driven to our knees when we know that with God's help or guidance we may know a better way.

God calls each of us to a life of love and labor. We are called to "love our neighbor as our self". Each time I read that it reminds me that we are called to be loving to ourselves, we are then called to reach our and be there for the other. It is not selfish or shallow to live into the person God most needs you to be. We are each created in the image of God and yet each uniquely different.

Surrender today means for me that I need to accept the life God calls me to. Surrender today means listening to the still small voice within that is excited about the possibility of getting out of God's way. I am struggling with exercise and wanting so much to be in better physical condition. Not for anyone else, but because I want to feel better. It is clear to me today that I have not asked God for any help with it at all. I have been beating myself up with messages of self reliance and self will. Today I want to invite God into my struggle. Today I want surrender to mean something new.

What areas are you not letting God into? Where in your life do you think that you are supposed to be in control? What stops you form letting go and getting out of God's way?

This morning I went to prayer with an open heart and inquiring mind. How about you?

"Lord, grant me to greet the coming day in peace.
Help me to rely upon your holy will.
In every hour of the day reveal your will to me.
Bless my dealings with all who surround me.
Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout
the day with peace of soul
and with firm belief that your will governs all.
Guide my words and deeds, my thoughts and feelings.
Teach me to act firmly and wisely, without
embittering or embarrassing others.
Give me strength to bear the fatigue of the coming
day with all that it shall bring.
Direct my will, teach me to pray, pray yourself in me.
Amen
Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow, 1821-1867