What does it look like from the foot of the cross?

Prior to the leading the"Stations of the Cross" service last night I sat, candles lit, music on, and looked around.  Hanging above my head was a large cross. It hangs from the beams of our sanctuary.  On the cross is the Crucified Christ.  The traditional name for this would  be a Crucifix.  A thin veil made of purple fabric has been placed over it.  The candles lit, the music on, and I looked up. 

The Stations of the Cross is a service where we are led through a series of readings and prayers.  Each is said in conjunction with an image that depicts the artists image of that aspect of the story.  There is silence, the sanctuary is dimly lit, and the words and image are the focal point.  

In the Episcopal Church we most often see an empty cross.  A central tenant to our faith is that we believe that Christ was crucified for us, that he was sacrificed for our sins.  We believe that through this sacrifice we are forgiven.  In the Nicene Creed that we say each week, we say, "For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate; He suffered death and was buried.  On the third day he rose again in accordance with the Scriptures; he ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father."

It has always been really important to me that the suffering was for a reason.  That does not mean I believe we need to suffer to grow, although I must admit the times I have grown the most there has been suffering involved.  For the me the empty cross means that Christ suffered for me, that I am not called to do that to myself.  A wise spiritual director told me earlier this year that he used something in his prayer life that had changed him.  He suggested I think about it. "Lord, let me not be an insturment of my own oppression."  

What does it look like at the foot of the cross?  

"Metanoia is the turning of all mind and hearts to God in preparation for the celebration of the Paschal mystery in which some will for the first time receive the light of Christ, others will be restored to the communion of the faithful, and all will renew their baptismal consecration of their lives to God, in Christ." 
Thomas Merton

Holy week is a time to remember.  How are we turning our hearts and mind to God?  HOw has that grown or changed?  What is it like to walk the lonely journey with Jesus?  

Sitting at the foot of the cross has meant so many different things to me over the years I don't know how to write about it yet.  What I do know is that it has become more and more important.  Today I am committed to continuing the discipline of walking this path.  Today I feel the craving of wanting language to express what it all means to me.  Today I know that Jesus dropping of the cross, picking it up again, and walking along means more to me than just a fable.  Why?  How would you explain this to the unchurched?   

Gracious God, Thank you for the blessing of more questions than answers.  Thank you for heath and healing.  Thank you for the ability to turn toward you over and over again.  Thank you for always being there.  Amen