“In a controversy, the instant we feel anger, we have already ceased striving for truth and have begun striving for ourselves” Abraham J. Heschel

Anger is one of those emotions that I think so many of us believe has no place in the spiritual life. It is also one of those things that we all have a different experience of. Some of us grew up in families where anger was scary and dangerous, for some anger was never allowed, or at least was never shown directly. We know that anger is a part of life and the experience of being human. So that tells us, it was experienced. The key is how is it lived out, how is it shown or used.

It is also interesting how we attach labels to feelings. We decide that anger is a "bad" feeling, joy or happiness is a "good" feeling. So good in fact that we spend much of our life striving to be there, or to get back to that feeling that was "good". Yet, I have found over the years that God created us as we are. We are each living, moving, feeling beings. We are each going to have a wide range of emotions, each of us for different reasons and in different ways.

I am not sure there is something that joins us together more than our experience of the world. One of the primary ways that we do that is through our feelings. Psychology tells us that some of us are dominant feelers, while others are dominant thinkers. The way I interpret this on a very simplistic level is that dominant feelers take in the experience of the world first through their feelings. Language and thinking follow. Dominant thinkers would be just the opposite. That person interprets the world from a very linear, concrete place. This information is taken in and feelings follow. There are many different ways to look at this. Today I am thinking of it this way.

What I do believe is that God created us all differently and yet the same. Wonderful and unique, and yet all very human. We have each grown up in a different way, in different places, and with different experiences. That path has and continues to form us also. Anger has always been a defense for me. A place I could go for protection and courage. At least I thought it was protection and the courage was just an illusion. Many times my anger was the very thing that turned on me, the very thing I thought I was using for protection became the thing that either hurt others and almost always myself.

Over the years I have come to know the difference between anger and rage. For me, anger is about current things, about something in my life that has my attention. My reaction to it is one of passion, angst, frustration. The feeling of anger can motivate me, give me healthy energy to move past where I am, help me to advocate for myself or others, or to change a situation that isn't working. Anger at this point can be a constructive use of energy.

Rage is where we can become destructive. Rage is a place that reminds me of a time in my past that I was wounded or have not let go. Rage is old and can be a place that if not tended to, can keep me very stuck. It is also a place where we can feel very justified and righteous. Rage is old, anger is in the present.

All these thoughts about anger come because I have spent the last two day stewing and worrying. Writing this blog causes me to sit down, pray and ask God what I really want to talk about. I am learning that when I am angry or feel powerless, I want to retreat, I want to listen to others and help others. On the one hand this is growth. I have learned over the years that feelings are just that, feelings, they don't need to be actions. We don't need to react, we get to pay attention. There were times in my life that my rage scared me and others. I was hurtful with my words and actions. With God's help today I have traveled many miles and have acquired many tools for the journey. Today I do not want to hurt myself or anyone else with my anger.

Anger is a part of our spiritual life. Anger is one of those God given feelings we have. Anger is an important part of being a living, loving, faithful person. It is what we do with it that allows us to change.

Micah 6:8 "God required them to be faithful, to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with their God."

Sometimes we are called to act and speak in ways that are uncomfortable. Sometimes we are called to advocate for ourselves or those we care about in ways that feel foreign and scary. If we are passionate, loving and faithful people, God will call us to these places. God needs us in these places.

Today I know that my anger and frustration are a gift, it is given to me as a form of energy to do the work God calls me to do. It is my responsibility to use it with compassion and grace. It is my work to discern how God can use me most effectively. When I am in prayer, asking for help from healthy people and breathing. I do not need to be afraid of my anger, I need to invite it in and listen to it. God will guide me. God will guide you to.

"Anyone can become angry- that is easy, but to be angry with the right person at the right time, and for the right purpose and in the right way- that is not within everyone's power and that is not easy."
Aristotle

Where are those places in your life when Anger has gotten in your way? Can you see Anger and Rage as being two separate things?

Gracious God, thank you for all the ways that we experience the world. Thank you that we are all unique and yet the same.

Gracious God, Be with us today as we travel this journey. Help us with our frustration with the world around us. Help us to remember that you are with us and with those we love.

Gracious God, Thank for for the passionate anger that can change the world when lived into the way you need us to. Amen.