A Crack in the Ice

"Order my disordered heart. Let me see in whoever is enemy and stranger to me the other half of myself that I refuse to embrace. Loving Spirit, perfect the image of your love in me every day. Create an inclusive heart within me. Let my heart become peaceful. May I bring peace wherever I go and to whomever I encounter."

The Merton Institute for Contemplative Living

As I stand on the edge of the lake, I hear the ice cracking, the sun beating down on all that is around me. I find myself paying attention to the difference between the ice and the water. The frozen and the flowing freely. Looking down I see a crack in the ice before me. A crack in the ice.




During Lent we are taught to examine our lives through the practice of prayer, fasting and works of charity. We are taught to reflect on that experience through the life of Christ. What does that mean to us?

Over the years since I have come into the Episcopal church Lent has become more and more important to me. It really is a time to look at myself and where I am in relationship to God, to others in my life, and the world around me. Historically, this time of year has been one of great change and sometimes turmoil. I used to say that I didn't do lent, that lent did me. In recent years this time of reflection and growth has been more subtle and yet equally important.

In the book, "Lent and Easter, Wisdom from Thomas Merton, this jumped out at me today.

"The true Ascetic is not one who never relaxes, but one who relaxes at the right time and in the right measure, who orders his whole life, under the direct guidance of the Holy Spirit, so that he works when God wants him to work, rests when God wants him to rest and prays constantly through it all by a simple and loving gaze that keeps his heart and mind united with the indwelling Spirit."

The water reflected the sun and was able to move around the rocks, push the leaves here and there. The ice is growing thinner, the ice is fixed, solid, yet as it thaws it begins to crack. Sometimes ice is cracked by warmth, sometimes it is cracked by force. That is true for us to.





There are times on the journey of faith that God can feel very forceful. Sometimes it is hard to see God in it at all, or if we do, why ? We can find God in prayer, we can slow down and listen. With loss comes grief and anger. But with that loss comes room for grace and new life. Where in your life do you feel the ice cracking?

God also helps us crack those ice covered place in our hearts with warmth. Sometimes that warmth can come from within, sometimes people are put in our lives to challenge us, to love us. Sometimes this warmth comes in forms we didn't expect. But with prayer and attention, know that God's love and grace will help you heal those places that feel so lonely and broken.

Gracious God, Today I give thanks for the Sun and it's warmth in my life. Today I give thanks for the present moment. Today I give thanks that I could hear the cracking.