Clutter

"Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; from discord find harmony; in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."

Albert Einstein

Clutter may truly be the polite way to describe the state of my home. In the context of keeping this lent a journey, I think I will look at the beginning of this week as one of pushing through the heavy brush. It is sometimes hard to believe that even land that has only been left untended for a short time can become unruly. Brush can become thick and overgrown. When this happens so often beautiful places become unable to get to, or perhaps we give up before we even begin?

Yesterday was the first day that I did not post since I began this Lenten discipline of writing. So many things run through my head. Do I pretend that it is yesterday? Do I say I wrote it last night and just post this morning? Do I ignore yesterday and just right for today? As I write these questions I find how important it is to acknowledge that it is this morning that I can really reflect on my learning of yesterday. Is the discipline about doing it perfectly, or is it about spending time with God and reflecting on my faith journey? For years I would tell you that it was not about doing it perfectly and yet still expect myself to do something perfectly. Of course, the outcome of this belief was that I allowed myself to do very little, because I didn't want to show my humanity. Humanity, not shame, not sin, not "badness", humanity.

God's grace is that I sit here today so grateful for the knowledge of our humanity, of my humanity. Some say that your living space can reflect how you are living your life, or at least it can say a lot about you. The clutter has been building around us, the piles of "stuff" continues to grow. Some of the piles are treasured items, books, yarn, magazines, clothes, books, books, yarn. Some was an outcome of chores not finished, trash, laundry, those everyday tasks that have no higher calling or deeper purpose than to live in the world in a healthier way. I am guilty of thinking that when the laundry or trash is done, that it is in fact, done. Years, yes, years or repeating this behavior, I am finally coming to terms with the reality that these tasks must be done, over and over.

For this moment many of these tasks are in progress. What has been really important for me to pay attention to is how I trap myself. It is hard to feel like one can see outside the box, for one to be creative, or even alive if we trap ourselves with so many barriers. The physical barriers reflect the internal blocks that can keep us from being present with God, with the divine, with the very spirit that longs to spend time in our hearts. There is so little room. How is it on this journey we can make room for those elements of our selves that crave the breath of the spirit?

Today I give thanks for the action of cleaning out my closet, my real closet, clothes I have had for more years than I can name. Today, I give thanks for boxes of things that can go to those that need them. They do not need to sit in my home waiting for the day to come when they could be used. Today I give thanks for the growing belief that there is enough, that God will provide for me and for those I love. Today, I celebrate the continued balance between living with the simplicity of what I need and the belief that it is important to live a life of abundance. Today I give thanks as I come to know that that comes to us by letting go, letting go of things, letting go of outcomes, letting go of perfection.

This journey of Lent helps me to stop, listen and pay attention.

" Deep silence leads us to suspect that , in the first place, prayer is acceptance. People who pray stand with their hands open to the world. They know that God will show himself in the nature that surrounds them, in the people they meet, in the situations they run into. They trust that the world holds God's secret within it, and they expect that secret to be show to them. Prayer creates that openness where God can give himself to us. Indeed, God wants to give himself; he wants to surrender himself to the person he has created; God even begs to be admitted into the human heart." Henri J.M. Nouwen