How is the Spirit working in our lives?

How is the Spirit working in our lives, where is the path leading?  The last couple of months have been incredibly rich with new learning, stretching my comfort zone, stretching the limits of time and tasks.  But with that has comes some really wonderful new knowing, much of which I am still searching for language for. 

The Spirit is always working in our lives, sometimes in ways that we know and can name, other times it is a slow gradual, shifting. 

For years one of my favorite Lenten meditation books is one written by Martin L. Smith, "A Season for the Spirit".  As is God's way with me so often, I picked it up the other day and it immediately started to speak to me.  Lent is a time of reflection and refinement, a time of letting go and renewing.  This can only be done deeply when we are honest about where we are in our lives of faith, where we are in the lives we lead and where God is in all that. 

"The Spirit can help me today to understand a little better the interplay of Yes and No in my life.  There is a self within me that says No to hope, No to myself, No to others, No to opportunities, the self that allows everything to take on the darkness and rigidity of that cave inside where life seems frustrating and hurtful." 

There are times when we meet people and as their story unfolds a resilience,a sense of spirit is obvious.  As parents most of us want so much to make sure our children are happy, well and supported.  We wish for them love, joy and peace.  Yet, there are times that as human beings life unfolds the way it does.  People lose their jobs, money becomes sparse and the stress on a family is huge.  Marriage and relationships are challenging and sometimes even with the best intentions, prayer and hard work, people part ways.  Tragedy happens in some families, death, addiction, imprisonment all cause pain, loss and fear. 

Each of us know people that fall into any of these catagories, each of us can identify with a life described here.  Regardless of the experience that has formed us, we each must find those places in ourselves that cause us to say NO to the life that God is calling us to.  Some of the strongest most resilient people I have met or admire came from very challenging circumstances. 

"Can I also hear within myself the voice which pronounces a real Yes to God and to the life in which I meet God?  Can I hear a Yes from within which trusts and believes, which hopes and asks, which reaches and strives, which accepts and recieves?  Can I hear within myself a  Yes  which trusts the love of God and accepts our extream vulnerability at the same time without pretence?" 

It is truly looking back on the experiences in my life that I know how deeply I have been formed by those times that were so painful.  Finding our way through life and the decisions we make can be a maze, a place where we hit walls, or feel trapped with no way to get out.  Maybe we have times when we feel abandon or mislead.  I have been blessed in my life, I know the love of my family and friends.  Many of the lessons I had to learn were ones I was warned about, things I was taught that either never registered or I thought I knew better.  God alone knows us, God alone knows those places within us that long for love.  God is always there even when we think not, God will be that voice when we can hear no other, God is with us in the maze of life, and God longs for us to say Yes. 

"Can I hear a Yes from within myself which is deep because it is an acceptance of a way of love which works through our vulnerability? "

The quotes today are all from "A Season for the Spirit", Martin Smith.  In closing today, I am aware of the blessing of God, of time and those times in my life that have formed me so profoundly. I am reminded of my faith, my strengh and desire for a very intentional Yes to God. 

"Breath of God in me, God has said Yes to me by giving you to me as my helper and source of the new life I want.  The faith you are giving me will help my Yes to life gradually to sound stronger than the NO of my mistrust.  The hope you are stirring in me will help my Yes overcome my timitdity.  The love with which you are impregnating me will melt the barriers behind which I have been taught to live and help me say Yes to myself, to others and the God in whom we all live and move and have our being.  Amen" 
Martin Smith

How can the sacred shape us?

What do we think about the idea that the sacred must sometimes change to shape us?  What is it like to meet God outside of our comfort zones, outside the norms we were brought up with?

In the early years of the church Lent was a time when those that were not baptized spent years preparing for this sacrament.  Education about the creeds, the catechism, history of the church, and the doctrine of our faith were central to preparation.  Personal prayer, reflection and preparation of body, mind and spirit was the foundation.

This is also true today in many ways, but it looks very different.  When Jesus was baptized, the sky opened and God proclaimed that Jesus was his son, that he was prouder of him than we can imagine and loved him to the moon and back.  Ok, those aren't God's words exactly, but I believe them to be true.  God loves us with this same overwhelming power.

"Still, Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis", is a book written by Lauren f. Winner.  In it is a very interesting story about the poet Anne Sexton, an award winning poet. We hear about her faith.   Most of her life she struggled with depression and other metal health issues.

"Once, when she was in a mental hospital, a Catholic priest came to visit her.  'Well,' she said to him, 'I've lost it all.'  The priest sat in her room and read her own poems aloud to her and she said, 'Look, I'm not sure I believe in God, anyway,' and he said, 'Your typewriter is your altar.' Sexton said, 'I can't go to church. I can't pray.' The priest said, 'Your poems are your prayers.'  Later she said she'd like him to baptize her, and then she'd like to take Communion.  He replied that she'd have to study the faith first, the councils, the creeds.  'I can't do that, Father Dunn....It would ruin....my thinking: I'd want Him to be my God, anyway.  I don' want to be taught about Him; I want to make Him up."  When he left her room, she asked him to pray for her. 'No," he replied, 'You pray for me."

The idea of her typewriter being her altar, her poems being her prayers is one that really resonates with me.  We each have places that we are able to be in touch with God, places and ways that we are able to pray. Being in relationship with God in ways that are intimate and sacred is a very personal thing.  What is your altar?  What do your prayers look like?

The idea of "making God up", is not the way I experience the journey, but I do believe that God is far greater than our human mind can fathom.  Each of us have stories and experiences that affirm for us the existence of a power greater than ourselves.  As Episcopalians we are called to look through the lens of scripture, tradition and reason to make meaning of our lives with God.  This allows us to enter into the life of the sacred in ways that challenge and transform us.

I was very touched by the Priest in this story.  I would like to have him visit me as the journey unfolds.  What do you hear?  Why was he asking for her prayers?

The Catechism tells us the "The sacraments are outward and visible signs of inward and spiritual grace, given by Christ as sure and certain means by which we receive that grace."  BCP, 857

We are also told that: "Grace is God's favor towards us, unearned and undeserved; by grace God forgives our sins, enlightens our minds, stirs our hearts, and strengthens our wills."  BCP 858

Lent is a time of preparation and prayers. It is a time to remember who God is in our lives, to spend time and wonder what difference all this makes, and to walk the journey with Jesus as he shows us the way.

"O God of unchangeable power and eternal light:  Look favorably on your whole Church, that wonderful and sacred mystery; by the effectual working of your providence carry out in tranquillity the plan of salvation; let the whole world see and know that things which were cast down are being raised up, and things which had grown old are being made new, and that all things are being brought to their perfection by him through whom all things were made, your Son Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.
  BCP  291

Let Evening Come

Let Evening Come

Let the light of late afternoon shine through chinks in the barn, moving up the bales as the sun moves down. Let the cricket take up chafing as a woman takes up her needles and her yarn. Let evening come. Let dew collect on the hoe abandoned in long grass. Let the stars appear and the moon disclose her silver horn. Let the fox go back to its sandy den. Let the wind die down. Let the shed go black inside. Let evening come. To the bottle in the ditch, to the scoop in the oats, to air in the lung let evening come. Let it come, as it will, and don't be afraid. God does not leave us comfortless, so let evening come. Jane Kenyon

Wake up to what?

"Wake up to what, exactly? Wake up to what the world can be. A world truly at peace. And peace, from the Arch's point of view, is not the absence of war. What he seeks is a shift in the battleground-forsaking armed conflict for the longer and more ennobling struggle against complacency, against selfishness, against revenge, and other, darker aspects of human nature To follow him in this fight is to have your life turned upside down turning the world right side up. To follow him is to join that ongoing march, the journey of equality." Bono

 This is a quote from the forward of the book: Tutu authorized, Allister Sparks and Mpho Tutu. Archbishop Desmond Tutu is a modern day prophet. The twinkle in his eye, the playfulness in his voice are merely points of entry to the wisdom, strength and passion this man embodies.

 Bono the lead vocalist of the popular band U2 is very faithful and passionate. He speaks in the forward of this new book about the man he calls his boss, "The Arch." When asked why the poor, the marginalized, the needy are so important to him, he speaks of a "wake up call", a time when having spoken with Archbishop Desmond Tutu, he knew that it was his responsibility to listen and respond in ways that would continue to make the world a better place.

 The majority of us are not Bono, with his recourses, talent or public image. We will not have the chance to meet Archbishop Desmond Tutu, but we are each responsible. We can each pray and reflect on the ways we can be present to God, to ourselves and our loved ones today.

 "the longer and more ennobling struggle agains complacency, against selfishness, against revenge and other darker aspects of human nature."

 It is so easy to believe that we are just one person, or that we live in small towns, or that we have nothing to say. Yet, each one of us are connected in ways we can't even imagine. How is it that God could be able to use your gifts, your talents, or your passion? Complacency leads to emptiness, selfishness leads to loneliness, revenge leads to pain, anger and the cycle continues.

 Gracious God, thank you for all the blessings of this day. Thank you for food, clothing and shelter. Thank you for not abandoning us, when we abandon ourselves, thank you for not giving up on us, even when we want to or give up on ourselves. Gracious God, help us this day, to be open to the richness of spirit and grace that can only come from you. Help us to look outside ourselves so that we can be the instruments you so desperately need us to be. Amen

Lent is a blessed and sacred time.

Years ago when so much of my work was done in those dark places, I said to a friend; I don't do Lent, Lent does me.  The light of new life and rebirth continued to grow, hope and faith were threads that I clung to and God was calling me out of the dark place that was my home.  What I didn't know was that God was in fact calling me into the light, love and possibility that could be my life.

Lent is a time of reconciliation with God, self and others.  We are each called to look at who we are through the lens of God's love for us.  This is the life of a person of faith, but during Lent we are called to remember Jesus experience. Who are the disciples?  What does Jesus carrying the cross mean today? What does being a "Christian" really mean? Where are those places in us that fall asleep, that say "Crucify him!"? Who are we in the story?  Why does it matter to us again this year?

Looking back at the years that I spoke of earlier, the discipline was to be in right relationship with God, with myself and then with others.  God calls us not to live from our brokenness, but our strength.  We are all created in God's image, yet, each of us is unique.  Our life experience is the basis of the tapestry that is our life.  Each thread, each pattern creates it's own story. What does your tapestry look like?  Do you see colors, what are they?  Are the patterns familiar or completely new?

This Ash Wednesday Prayer is one I offer up to lead us into this sacred time.  No author was mentioned.

The darkness asks us questions.
You are out there and we do not see.
You invite us into the night,
the stillness, the loneliness, the desert place.

We cannot see our shadow;
the cold damp of unknowing rises up from beneath our feet.
We tread cautiously, tentatively.

We are afraid, afraid of ghosts
haunting us with specters of guilt
and shame.

We would like to run back,
reach the river bank,
swim the Jordan, sit in the sun by the sea,
mending our nets.
But you have brought us here
-with no bread.

When we look we can see only ourselves,
our darkness.
When we read,
it is invisible words which cannot be grasped,
thoughts we cannot clutch,
hope we cannot capture.

Yet the wild honey remains a taste in our mouth,
a memory for a new day.

Why have you brought us here?
What miracle will you perform for us?

The darkness sighs around us,
dense with your unseen presence,
close to our breathing,
close to our breathing.

O darkness, enlighten us,
embrace us with your invisible love.
Let us see your glory in the ashes.
Take us by the hand that we may trust in the darkness
Minister to us by your Spirit that we may not be afraid.
Jesus, keep the beasts away.

Amen

Lent is a blessed and special time.  It does not need to be a penitential or punitive time.  God loves us beyond our wildest imagining and needs us to live into that light and love.  Remember there are times when the light hurts, there are times when we look away, there are times when we don't feel worthy, or are afraid.  God will go to any length to call us to the light and life that is our work, we are not alone.

Welcome to a blessed and life giving Lent.

I walk down the street

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters 

Portia Nelson

I.

I walk down the street. 

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in

I am lost.....I am helpless

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out. 

II.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 

I pretend I don't see it. 

I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in the same place. 

but, it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out. 

III.

I walk down the same street

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there. 

I still fall in...it's a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault. 

I get out immediately. 

IV. 

I walk down the same street. 

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 

I walk around it. 

V. 

I walk down another street. 

 

Ash Wednesday

We are about to enter into the Christain discipline of Lent.  Growing up I used to hear people talk about giving up something for lent.  The church that I grew up in was very faithful. God was prsent, taught and prayed to.  Our tradition was not one of walking the journey to the cross with Jesus.  We celebrated Easter.

As I grew older I remember seeing people with what I now know were ashes on their foreheads, and asking what they were.  This was something the Catholics did.  This was not said in a negative way, just that this was something that was part of their faith.  But what was it, why did they do it?  As the day passed so did my questions, I was on to something else. 

Ash Wednesday is the day in the church year when the path takes a marked change of direction.  We have been in the season of Epiphany, the season of Light.  Who is Jesus and what did he do?  Healing, calling of disciples, relationships and teaching have given us a picture of who is propet is.  Ash Wednesday begins the part of the journey when we come to know the depth of faith and commitment Jesus came to teach us.  We are called to be present to the abuse of power, the fear of intimacy and the all powerful love of God.  We are called to walk this scary and very lonely path with Jesus to the cross.

 What does this mean?  What does our faith mean to us?  Who are we in relation to the life that Jesus lays out for us as an example?  What gets in our way of being the people God most needs us to be.  This is a time when we are called to spend very intentional time with God, with ourselves and pay attention.  We can do this in many ways.  The following comes from the Ash Wednesday service:

"Dear People of God: The first Christians observed with great
devotion the days of our Lord's passion and resurrection, and
it became the custom of the Church to prepare for them by a

season of penitence and fasting. This season of Lent provided
a time in which converts to the faith were prepared for Holy
Baptism. It was also a time when those who, because of
notorious sins, had been separated from the body of the faithful
were reconciled by penitence and forgiveness, and restored to
the fellowship of the Church. Thereby, the whole congregation
was put in mind of the message of pardon and absolution set
forth in the Gospel of our Savior, and of the need which all
Christians continually have to renew their repentance and faith.

I invite you, therefore, in the name of the Church, to the
observance of a holy Lent, by self-examination and repentance;
by prayer, fasting, and self-denial; and by reading and
meditating on God's holy Word. And, to make a right beginning
of repentance, and as a mark of our mortal nature, let us now
kneel before the Lord, our maker and redeemer."





As we sit here in the year 2012 many of us have a reaction to words that feel like old religious words.  The truth is, they are old religious words.  I have discovered over the years that when I spend time with words that jump out at me there is always something for me to learn.  With that said I invite us to read and pray with these words.  What words jump out at you?  Why? How could that be important for your journey this year? 

I look forward to spending this Lent together.  Please feel free to comment or send me an email with any thoughts or reflections that you have.  If you comment your thoughts will be able to be shared with others.  Whatever form this conversation is supposed to take, I look forward to this time.  Keep awake.  God Bless.