Seize the Day

"In the silence of your hearts or in spoken words let us give thanks for the gift of this day and pray for the life of the world..."  J. Philip Newell

Recently I have taken up a new hobby.  Actually it is one that my mother tried to have me appreciate as a young child.  I am learning to play the piano.  

In our living room growing up we had a baby grand piano.  It was black and the piano bench held sheets of wonderful music.  But what I remember is that I loved to pick up the cover of this bench and let it slam shut.  Not hard, not enough to hurt anything, but surly enough to bother my mother.  The keys were tarnished over time and were a worn ivory color.  It was fun to sit on the bench and pretend that I could play beautiful music.  

My mother set up piano lessons with a Mr. Petillio.  He taught music on the campus of the school where we lived.  He was from Europe and had a very curious accent for a young girl.  In all fairness to this man, I don't think he was used to young children.  It is also important to note, no pun intended, that I was not a child with a long attention span.  As hard as I try, I have very little recollection of these lessons.  What I do remember is the regular arguing with my mother about practicing.  Siting in the passenger seat of our family car, driving up the driveway, knowing that I didn't know my lesson, was never fun.  Yet week after week, I would be relieved that that lesson was over and approach it exactly the same the upcoming week.  Needless to say, I never became a gifted musician.  At some point he must have convinced my mother that this was not working.  

Sometimes in life, it is so funny to look back.  Many of us spend a lot of time reflecting so that we can come to know ourselves better.  Healing and coming to terms with a difficult past involves remembering these events, telling the story and looking at ways to move on from  those places of brokenness and move into our lives today.  This is important work and very sacred ground.  But sometimes I find it really funny to look back at those times when life was funny, or I was mischievous, or even think, Wow, how did I miss that? 


Playing the piano is one of my favorite things to do these days.  I love to practice, I love to learn a new cord, a new song, or a new way of doing something.  I love the work I do. It is a blessing to know how God can best use your gifts and talents in the world.  My life has meaning and purpose.  But all that said it is very hard for me to play.  I am silly and often joyful.  The time I experience that most is during worship.  But I want to be able to play, be silly and relax outside of my work.  Ahhhhhh,  this is where the piano comes in.  

"When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.  From now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face.  Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.  And now fatih, hope and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love." 

1 Cor. 13:11-13 

Music is one of the ways that many are able to pray, play or grieve.  Music speaks to our hearts and our souls. It can sooth us, comfort us, it speaks to us in ways nothing else does.   Children experience faith on a very simple and authentic level.  As we grow older we gather defenses and ideas that complicate and confuse the way we experience the world.  Yes, it also informs the way we see the world, but sometimes don't we get in the way?

Going back to the piano at this point in my life has been a blessing.  It is a time of meditation and peace.  It can also be a time of fun and playfulness.  It is good to grow and learn.  I am no longer the child that cannot sit still.  The child that just couldn't find the discipline amidst the turmoil in my home to learn new things.  Today I smile when I look back and see her squirming on the piano bench, Today I have compassion for her desire to play and her complete inability to learn.  Today it is she that gathers her books and hurries to her lesson.  She hurries to her lesson with expectation and excitement.  

For some life is short, for some life is long.  The more people I meet and the more stories I hear, there is a common thread that jumps out.  Curiosity and the desire to learn feed the spirit and the mind.  

What are you curious about?  What is something that you  would like to learn or do? 

Today I give thanks for patienct teachers and joyfull noise.  

What do you give thanks for today?  

An excerpt from a favorite poem: 

" Of course I have always known you

are present in the clouds, and the 

black oak I especially adore, and the 

wings of birds.  But you are present 

too in the body, listening to the body, 

teaching it to live, instead of all 

that touching, with disembodied joy. 

We do not do this easily.  We have 

lived so long in the heaven of touch, 

and we maintain our mutability, our

physicality, even as we begin to 

apprehend the other world.  Slowly we 

make our appreciative response. 

Slowly appreciation swells to 

astonishment.  And we enter the dialogue

of our lives that is beyond all under-

standing or conclusion.  It is mystery.

It is love of God.  It is obedience. 

Oh feed me this day, Holy  Spirit, with

the fragrance of the fields and the 

freshness of the oceans which you have 

made, and help me to hear and to hold

in all dearness those exacting and wonderful 

works of our Lord Christ Jesus, saying: 

Follow me.  "  

From the Poem:  Six Recognitions of the Lord, by Mary Oliver

Great Moments

"When a great moment knocks on the door of your life, it is often no louder than the beating of your heart, and it is very easy to miss it." 
                           John O'Donohue

It has been a long time since I have posted here and it is so odd and wonderful that I have missed it.  Writing is one of those things in my life that I have such a love, hate relationship with.  Other things that come under that category are exercise, eating well, or overall self care as opposed to instant gratification or comfort.  Why is it that the very things that can help us to feel good, sometimes are the very things we most resist?  

Writing has come to be one of those places that allow me to look at the world through a specific lens.  Writing is a very significant way that I am able to stop and try to express the experience that we call life.  For many this is either not something that they need to do, or perhaps you do it in different ways.  Photography, music, painting, or other forms of the arts are common ways that people express who they are. 

Long ago I read that the best writers were avid readers.  Since I was a small child I have loved books.  I love the way some books look.  Open a book to a specific page and there, written down, are the very words that you were looking for.  Learning is something that in my early life I struggled with a lot.  I loved to escape to my room with a good book, to open the pages in the quiet and enter into the story that was before me.  As children in my family, my mother read to us before we went to sleep each night.  Looking back now, this went on much later than I would have thought.  We were in middle school I think when she finally stopped.  I remember this as a very calm and peaceful time.  A time when we were encouraged to relax and let our minds wander.  There were no expectations, no tests, just the voice of our mother and the story she held.  Recently, I have thought many times that I don't think it is any coincidence that both of my brothers and myself are avid readers. 

Everywhere I go books surround me.  I have books on theology of all different forms and from all different perspectives.  Fiction is one of the things I love very much, it continues to be a place where I can relax and breath.  Biographies are a wonderful way to enter into history and come to know the voice of people that become friends.  There are many other things that line my shelves, but what is important is the comfort and pleasure I find in writing.  

Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom, by John O'Donohue is one of the books that I am reading right now. " Anam is the Gaelic word for soul: cara is the word for friend.  The anam cara was a person to whom you could reveal the hidden intimacies of your life."  As I begin to read this book a few different thoughts have come to mind.  The first is that over the course of my life there have been many people that have helped me reveal who I am and where the divine exits in the world.  These moments in time come back to me as times of grace.  

Who are the people in your life that have allowed you to  come to know the intimacies deep within your own soul?  

I am also reminded of what a life long journey this life is.  God is ever present and yet, ever changing.  Growing and learning about the interaction between our interior lives and the world around us is the very balance we seek. O'Donohue says: "since the birth of the human heart is an ongoing process, love is the continuous birth of creativity with and between us." 

This posting began with quote about great moments.  Today I am aware that one of the ways that I am able to see or be present in moments is to have the gift of writing about them.  Writing is a primary way that I am able to feel like I am part of the world around me.  Many times it is not until after I have written something that I am even aware that was in my heart or mind.  

What are ways that you feel part of the life you live?  How are you able to tell the stories that are hiding?  

What do you see through that window?  God is looking in with you or may be looking back.  Maybe both at the same time.  But we must look to know. 

 

Alleluia

"Life itself is an exercise in learning to sing Alleluia here in order to recognize the face of God hidden in the recesses of time."  Joan Chittister

 

It is an Alleluia view of every present moment, a view that welcomes it's complexity and subjects it to the more lasting view, the long view of life." 

Joan Chittister

Sitting here in my warm and comfy kitchen, I look out the window and snow covers the backyard.  I live in New England, I love the change in seasons.  Without doubt, by the time spring comes I am beyond ready for the cold to disappear and the hits of a warm breeze to sneak in.  Recently, I was remembering being a child growing up in a small town in Maine.  My grandparents owned an operated a dairy farm.  They grew corn, hayed the fields and in the spring, boiled maple syrup.  The buckets would be hung from the trees and the sap was would drip from a metal spout that had been inserted into the trunk.  It was never my thing to help collect or do any of this.  I loved the smell of the boiling sap, the smell of the wood burning and the cozy little building that housed the necessary equipment.  As a young child my mother and grandmother would make homemade donuts and we would go over and dip them in the freshly boiled syrup.  One of the other fun and exciting elements of this time was the very muddy road that lead to this place.  We used to talk about mud season, it was a very real time of year.  We would get special boots because your feet could sink so deep in the mud that you couldn't pull your foot up.  You can imagine the fun a child would have pulling their socked foot out of the boot and having to walk in the mud. 

It is fun to remember these times in childhood. Often in our lives, we remember those times that were painful, those places and people that left an imprint on our lives that we struggle to change or remove.  Why sometimes is it easier to remember the times of suffering than the times of joy.  Why sometimes is it easier to remember the times someone did something that was painful, than the times of joy or peace?  Perhaps an important part of our healing journey is remembering and healing from those places.  I know that has been incredibly important for me.  But as I sit here, I am reminded how seldom I have thought of those very special times in my childhood that were fun or comforting They seem so magical and special now.  But then, it was what I knew, it was just another day.  There were other things that were distracting me, other things that my mind was always struggling with.  Being in the present was not something I even had language for.  Some of that was developmental, a longing to be somewhere else, to be something else.  But how often do we miss life as it flies by, struggling to be in the moment?  How I would love to remember how it felt to have my feet squishing in the mud.  

"Uncommon Gratitude, Alleluia For All That Is."  By Joan Chittister, Rowan Williams, is a book that I had been suggested to me.  It came yesterday.  I must admit that the idea of coming home to a box with new books on my doorstep is really wonderful.  In just starting these reflections, I am very grateful for the reminder  to look for God in the present.  We are in those days after Easter in the year of the church and Jesus keeps appearing and the disciples don't recognize him.  Hummmm,   Would I?  Would you?  

I leave this today with a reflection from the book, written by Joan Chittister: 

 "Every segment of life is both gift and challenge, both endowment and responsibility.  It is the warp and woof of the fabric we call time.  The delicate interplay between the two has the power to rock us back and forth between total confidence and abject despair.  We lurch through life between doubt and faith, between security and cloying uncertainty, between the enrichment that comes from differences and the divisions that come from fear.  It is learning to cling to a sense of alleluia for both that carries us through life to that moment when everything in us has come to fullness and our only next step is immersion. in God."  

Underwater

"Circle me O God 

Keep hope within 

Despair without."  

David Adam

There are times in life when what we see is not always what is there.  Actually, I'm not sure that is true at all.  What we see is in fact what "we" see.  Perhaps what I am thinking about is how much we miss.  This is a picture taken of a stream.  Water is flowing quickly, waves ripple along the surface, a leaf is moving swiftly to it's next destination.  Upon first glance would you have guessed that the grass and stones are under the flowing water?  I ask this all with the assumption that you looked at the picture at all.  

So much of life is right there for us to see and experience.  I am beginning some reading on Celtic Spirituality.  Today I begin a book of daily readings that I would like to share.  "Praying with Celtic Saints, Prophets, Martyrs, and Poets", by June Skinner Sawyers.  

"The Celts had a deep reverence for the land and for nature itself.  Ritual was an important part of their daily life.  More important, thought, was the belief that God resides everywhere, in everyone, and in everything.  At heart, they were poets, and it is this poetic spirit, shining through their spirituality that people find so appealing today."

The last couple of weeks for me have been ones of great learning.  Not book learning, not the kind of learning that I will ever be tested for, at least not in the traditional sense.  But a learning about who I am, who we all are, and what I want to do in my life.  

As a young person there was much to be thinking about.  Each stage of our lives brings new concerns, new possibilities.  We come into the world with the powerful and important lessons of eating, sleeping, and the advanced skill of rolling over.  Time goes on and with that comes the many developmental challenges that are appropriate for who we are.  I have been struck recently just how much of our lives are spent learning to navigate the world around us, learning who we are in relation to our surroundings, and trying to find our own path.  

As we grow and learn we look around our environment, our families and friends for clues and lessons about what this whole life thing is about.  Over time we grow and change, we live and learn, we come to know that the work here is really to become our own individual.  God created us all in God's image and yet all uniquely different.  We are each called to be exactly who we need to be and then live in the world in a way that serves to make this world a better place.  

OK, so what do you see?  How is that journey going?  Where are you on that path?  


"There are other qualities as well: a mindfulness, a being present in the moment, a celebration of place, and a sense of unity with all of the earth's creatures.  It is an all-encompassing spirituality that, at its fundamental best, is life affirming."  


For each of us there comes a time when we must really embrace who we are, who we are becoming and what we want this life to be.  As an adult woman, my life looks very differently than my mothers did.  There are many wonderful gifts that she left me with, many ways of being that I treasure.  But with those gifts and my history, I have a new story.  With God's help, what do I want that to look like?  


Today I rejoice in the life I have been blessed with.  Today I want to see my journey as open to the infinite possibilities known only to God.  Today I pray to notice the barriers that I erect, and move past them.  


"The Presence of God is an eternal fact.  He never leaves us alone or forsakes us.  It is when we lose sight of Him that we falter and sink beneath the waves. "   David Adam

Resurrection Story

"The Miracle Worker" is a play written  by William Gibson.  It is a play that gives us a glimpse into the life of Helen Keller.  Her autobiography is aptly called, "The Story of My Life".  Each time I enter into the world of this amazing woman, I am reminded of her passion, courage and strength.  God calls us each from different places, at different times and within different contexts.  But, the important message here is that God in fact calls us all. 

Helen Keller was struck by a profound illness at 19 months old and was left to experience life as blind, deaf and mute.  Each time that I enter into the story of her life, I try to imagine the profound darkness that  must have been her experience.  What must it have been like to not be able to hear, see, or communicate in any way?  As we were to discover later in life, she was gifted intellectually and very passionate about the world in which she lived.  Imagine the darkness and stark reality of living in a world that I can only imagine as a locked cell.  What is the mind like when left alone?  The primary source of sensory input that Helen was able to experience was that of touch.  She could feel things emotionally, physically and spiritually, but had no way to make meaning of this experience, no way of expressing herself, and no way to learn and interact with the world.  It is said that after her illness through the age of 7 she did come to learn some 60 signs so that she could communicate with her family and her young friend Martha Washington, who was the daughter of the family cook.  I still have a very difficult time imagining how this was possible with the limitations of blindness and deafness.  What I am reminded of each time I spend time learning and reading about Helen Keller is her determination and resilience. 

Anne Sullivan was a woman that had been through tremendous difficulty.  At age 5 she was taken with Trachoma and this left her blind.  She came from an abusive Alcoholic family.  Her mother died 2 years after her illness and her father abandon her.  She grew up  in an orphanage in Tweksbury, Mass.  She was able to undergo many surgeries over the years and was able to gain some of her sight back.  She was hired to move in with the Keller family to be Helen's teacher.  The family was really at the end of their rope.  Helen was lucky enough to have been born into a family of privilege and they were able to provide for her resources that others may not have been able to have. 

Anne and Helen came from different worlds.  Both had suffered hardships, but Helen's family wanted to love her and coddle her.  They felt so badly about her disability that that was really all they could see?  Isn't it interesting that the word "see" comes to mean so much more in this context?  Anne had been brought up by the people in the orphanage and was cared for and supported but not enabled in anyway.  As I read about her life, those that brought her up did all they could to prepare her to live in the world.  They saw her potential, her possibilities, her gifts.  What do we see? 

When Anne came into the Keller home she had to set some really clear limits with the family.  She knew that if Helen was to learn she needed clear boundaries and expectations.  She knew that she needed to be called to be all she could be, that she was not to be pitied or sheltered.  Anne knew that she was called to prepare Helen for the world around her.  With her limited ability for sight she was able to see and believe in Helen's possibilities. 

Initially this was very painful for the family, they had a very hard timne coming to know and understand the difference between enabling and respecting one with expectations, and follow through.  Helen's passion often translated in willful fits and major disruption to the family.  Anne did not let her get away with it.  Anne respected Helen enough to not let her behave in a way that was hurtful, disruptive, and kept the world away. 

Water is often used in faith traditions as a sign of new life and rebirth.  The primary way that Anne was trying to teach Helen to develop language, to communicate, was to spell words our in her hand.  She would place Helen's hand on something and then spell it out in her hand.  Time went on, day after day, tantrum after tantrum, nothing, no connections made.  Yet, Anne did not give up.  She knew there was no where else to go, nothing else to turn to, but she also believed it had to be possible. 

One day after a tantrum during a family dinner, Helen runs outside.  Anne runs after her.  The story unfolds and Helen pumps water out of the well, she feels it running over her hand, she feel the coolness of the liquid running through her fingers.  Anne takes her hand and spells, W-A-T-E-R.  In a moment that must have felt like pure Grace, Helen raises her head, alive with wonder and knowing.  She takes Ann's hand, puts it under the pump, the water flows freely, then she spells W-A-T-E-R in her hand.  Anne is able to respond with Y-E-S.  At this point Helen runs wildly around the yard with Anne in tow, touching things and having her spell then out in her hand.  The chasm as been crossed, the bridge between darkness and isolation and the outside world has been found. 

God calls us to cross the bridge from where ever it is in our lives that we feel stuck.  God calls us to remember that we are all called to know who we are and what we are passionate about.  When I enter into this story again and again, I am reminded that we so often "see" limitations where we don't have to.  How is it that you are not really looking at the world around you?

Today, I want to really see.  I want to really hear.  Today, I give thanks for the gift of communication and the ability to make meaning of the world around me. 

Gracious God, Thank you for my health and healing.  Thank you for the many gifts that surround me.  Thank you for the hardship that I have had.  With that hardship I continue to grow and learn, I continue to see you in the midst of this life. 

Helen grew and flourished.  She became an American author, a political activist, and a lecturer.  She was the first deaf, blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree.   With Anne at her side and many others along the way, she lived her life communicating to the world her thoughts and experiences.  God is so good. 

Where do you see stories of resurrection? 

Good Friday

"O God of unchangeable power and eternal light:  Look favorably on your whole Church, that wonderful and sacred mystery; by the effectual working of your providence, carry out in tranquility the plan of salvation; let the whole world see and know that things which were cast down are being raised up, and things which had grown old are being made new, and that all things are being brought to their perfection by him through whom all things were made, your Son Jesus Christ our Lord; who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.  Amen. "  

Book of Common Prayer. pg. 280

Maundy Thursday

"Jesus calls us to continue his mission of revealing the perfect love of God in this world. He calls us to total self-giving. He does not want us to keep anything for ourselves. Rather, he wants our love to be as full, as radical, and as complete as his own. He wants us to bend ourselves to the ground and touch the places in each other that most need washing. He also wants us to say to each other, "Eat of me and drink of me." By this complete mutual nurturing, he wants us to become one body and one spirit, united by the love of God." Henri Nouwen

I sit here and look out the window. It is an amazingly beautiful day. It truly feels like the day the Lord has made and I hope many of us will get to Rejoice and be very glad. There are many things one can learn from being sick and really having to step out of all the daily responsibilities, roles, or interactions. One of the things that always surprises me is the gratitude and joy I feel for my health. Over the years I have come to believe one of the most important spiritual disciplines we can practice for ourselves and the world is one of gratitude. Each day I give thanks for my health, for the physical body that carries me through this life. But it can be a daily struggle to take care of it the way I believe it deserves. With all that said I do without doubt know that I am blessed with health and a body that serves me very well. Today, I left the house with a bounce in my step. After a week of dragging and 4 days of real illness, today I finally felt like myself. I felt like myself.

"Jesus calls us to continue his mission of revealing the perfect love of God in this world."

Maundy Thursday is the day in the Christian faith that we remember Jesus last meal with his friends or disciples. On this night he knew that he was about to be betrayed. He knew that his time with those around him as well as those he had met and come to love and care for was about to end. The mission of love and labor that God had entrusted to him on earth was about to come to a close. The task ahead of him this night was to give them ways to ritualize this time. But, more importantly, give them ways to remember and come to embody the love that he felt for them. So often we think how impossible it is to express how much we love this person, place or situation. Yet, it is often through the acts of the familiar that we are brought back.

Jesus uses the symbols of bread and wine to guide us. In some traditions the Eucharist or Communion is very much like a memorial meal. By that I mean, there are prayers said and a person may take some grape juice or wine as well as bread. They may do this with the intention of remembering Jesus. For others of us, the Eucharist is a sacrament. We believe that within the context of prayers and worship, we are not only remembering Jesus and his suffering, death and resurrection, but we are actually, taking him in to ourselves in a spiritual way. We are being filled with his grace and love.

On this night Jesus sits a table with his friends. He thinks to himself, how is it that they are going to not only deal with what is about to happen, but how is it that they are going to be able to live this work out in the world? How can I tell them how very much I love them, and how much I know they can and must carry this on? Jesus chose one of those familiar acts of love and fellowship, one of those places in our lives that we can all connect with. Jesus tells us that he will not be with us always, but that in fact he is always with us.

Over the years I have known many very faithful people. People that I have loved and respected, people's whose faith have been a beacon to me in the midst of life's challenges. The people that are flashing through my head are people that would do most anything for anyone and are incredibly generous. Each year at the service of the washing of the feet I have watched many of these same people unable to come forward. The taking off of one's shoes and socks, letting someone else touch and see your feet. I have been told repeatedly that this is just to intimate an act. Much to scary.

Jesus rises from the table and takes off this fancy robes and tied a towel around his waist.  He then told his friends and disciples that he was going to wash their feet.  This was a role that even slaves were spared of in that time.  A person washed their own feet when they entered a home.  Jesus entered into another place that each person could identify with.  Jesus entered into another one of those common places that remind us of our humanity, of our vulnerability, and our call to serve the other.  Jesus also already knew that Judas was to betray him and he knew that Simon Peter would deny him three times.  We are all important elements to the greater story. 

For me the service of Maundy Thursday and the washing of the feet is the most intimate liturgy of the year.  We are called to strip down to the core of who we are.  We are called to simplify the message of the Gospel, the message of Jesus, and that of all of scripture.  We are called to a new commandment. 

Jesus looks to his friends and disciples from bended knee.  He is bare chested and covered only with a towel.  He is vulnerable and open.  I imagine him looking at them with loving eyes, with longing eyes.  I can hear him thanking them for the time they have had together, thanking them for the good times, the laughter, and the struggles.  But it is so important that this be more.  That this be a part of the story that changes them, changes those around them, and continues to change the world.

He looks to them with loving eyes, with strength and grace.  Please, love one another, do it just as I have tried to love you.  If you act with love and generosity, the world will know that you are my disciples, the world will know that God's grace is alive and working through each of you.  They will know this only if you have love for one another. 

What is our lesson today?  With a bounce in my step today, I am so grateful for the message of love and compassion that has been passed on to me.  I am grateful for Jesus example of vulnerability and simplicity.  I am grateful for the lesson of love.

How will you be changed?  How is the love of Jesus contining to change you?  How is Jesus example of love leading you to live in the world?